"Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Discussion of all things non-11 Plus related

Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators

11 Plus Mocks - Practise the real exam experience - Book Now
Yamin151
Posts: 2405
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:30 am

"Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by Yamin151 »

Wg are post eleven plus. But both boys still benefiting from weekly tuition in maths. Just a half hour each with 10 mins work on 5 days of the week. That is it. One of our sons is so resistant, but he needs the support as he has no confidence and tends to panic, shutters come down, or he rushes and makes daft mistakes. Coach did so well with him last year.
So, how do I counter the frequent "it's not fair" cries? I'm not asking much of them and it's "for their own good" (becAuse that phrase will help!! :roll: ), but we get tears and tantrums, mainly because he thinks he is thick (he is not, book 5 mental maths in year 6 and very bright but whole class is bright and half of them on year 7 maths)
hermanmunster
Posts: 12818
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by hermanmunster »

ooo if you want an honest answer, I would say give them a break - they have done the exams now and will have plenty to do when they get into year 7.... sometimes it is nice to other things for the rest of year 6.
Daogroupie
Posts: 11100
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by Daogroupie »

I would continue. He will blame you if he gets to Year 7 and struggles. He is lucky. Lots of students would love to get the support he is getting and what would he be doing with the time otherwise? Playing computer games or watching TV? Lots of parents tell me how "lucky" I am that my dd's are "so bright". Not lucky or bright. They just work hard and don't watch TV or play computer games. DG
Yamin151
Posts: 2405
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:30 am

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by Yamin151 »

Daogroupie wrote:I would continue. He will blame you if he gets to Year 7 and struggles. He is lucky. Lots of students would love to get the support he is getting and what would he be doing with the time otherwise? Playing computer games or watching TV? Lots of parents tell me how "lucky" I am that my dd's are "so bright". Not lucky or bright. They just work hard and don't watch TV or play computer games. DG
It's the same here daogroupie, screen time is half an hour by the clock a day, rest of time is their own to 'mess around/contemplate navel/squabble' and yes, in there is that 10 mins a day, only during the week.
hermanmunster wrote:ooo if you want an honest answer, I would say give them a break - they have done the exams now and will have plenty to do when they get into year 7.... sometimes it is nice to other things for the rest of year 6.
Hermanmunster, its a tough one, as I can see that point of view of give them a break. However, this isn't about tiger mothering and getting them ahead. It's about equipping them, in particular one of them, to be able to go into maths at grammar and not feel so behind that it knocks his confidence for ever. He is so so panicky about it, and the maths coach, a man with much humour and gentleness, is the only person who can work with him for a half hour and get him laughing and 'enjoying' the problems. As a result of this his teacher told us his maths progress had been 'quite exceptional' last year. Plus, it is ten minutes, not a half hour a night or more, just ten minutes, and I'm more keen to sell it than to give it up. But thank you, I am very aware of not putting too much on them.
leanmeamum
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:14 pm

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by leanmeamum »

I think carry on - it will keep their hand in and won't forget everything they have learnt. Maths needs constant practise to perfect.

Most teachers complain about children regressing after holidays as they have not done any work during the long breaks.
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by mystery »

Is it the work at home or the tutor visit he does not like?
stroudydad
Posts: 2246
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:25 pm

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by stroudydad »

How about 15 minutes 3 times a week? Allowing a couple of days off..
Yamin151
Posts: 2405
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:30 am

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by Yamin151 »

mystery wrote:Is it the work at home or the tutor visit he does not like?
No, they genuinely like him. Really, I am there each week (he comes to our home) and he has great fun with them.

Talked to him tonight and he said he was really tired when he complained and he does understand that this is helping him. I expect more complaints from time to time but hopefully we can limp on for now, but still bowl in with any positive spin suggestions if you gave them!
Yamin151
Posts: 2405
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:30 am

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by Yamin151 »

stroudydad wrote:How about 15 minutes 3 times a week? Allowing a couple of days off..
Coach feels ten mins a day is most beneficial, just like music practise, but yes we can of course be flexible when needed, you are quite right. And nothing at weekends.
southbucks3
Posts: 3579
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:59 am

Re: "Selling" extra coaching to child who isn't keen

Post by southbucks3 »

How about making a bank book of time owed...every 10 mins they put in on maths, you write in the note book, taking off time where necessary, and not giving extra time if they muck about, bonus minutes for really good work. Each week add up the time owed, and promise them 100% parent attention to their chosen favourite activity...even if it is playing a stupid game on play station..You cannot break the deal.

I did this with ds2 over the summer, it really worked, I did have to do things like, being in goal, or playing "reel fishing" both awful for me, but I never went back on the deal. They are probably too young to fully absorb the "it is for your own benefit speech" let's face it, we all moan about doing things that are good for us, even as adults.
Post Reply
11 Plus Platform - Online Practice Makes Perfect - Try Now