ilford county school and making friends

[neveragainmum]

Hi I would like to ask any one who DS goes to ilford county school, if they think that a child not of asian indian heritage would find it hard to make friends and fit in. Any comments regarding this from anyone in or out of similar schools really appreciated.

[kelwaypops]

i can't imagine your ds not making friends because he wasn't asian, terribly sad if he didn't. dd tried out for wch (didn't get in) but it certainly wouldn't have stopped me trying her out there just because she would have been one of the few english white kids there. fwiw her close friends have mostly only ever been asian girls. i don't think children have the same hang ups with regards to cultural differences that sadly some grown ups have. i think grown ups could learn a thing or two from them...

[neveragainmum]

Thank you for your insight here its reassuring to think that others would not see it as a problem as Im hoping it wouldn't be. Im sorry to hear your dd didn't get in but I bet she will more than excel in the school she is going to as she sounds lovely. I must keep reminding myself that this is not the be all and end all for our children, but a short journey in the bigger picture, and that most importantly being rounded and grounded is far more important.

[vanityfair]

I do know of 2 black kids having problems at Ilford with bullying from some Asian kids. They were eventually pulled out and sent to indies in the area as Ilford leadership did not deal with the complaints robustly enough. The boys were not related and it happened in different years. White kids though I have not heard of being bullied. For WC, I know of a young lady now graduated from uni who said whilst there, made very few friends as very cliquey along lines of culture. She said that friendships were drawn along religion, culture and race so Jewish, Indian, Muslim etc. However there was no malice involved. She just found it a tad of a lonely existence for 7 years as a white Christian girl.

[tofindout]

I know a teacher there. He said he has not known of any bullying and if bullying were found, it could lead to the bullies being expelled. He hasn't come across bullying in his form class as well as subject classes from Y7 to Y13. To give you a little comfort, the teachers there are mostly Whites with a mix of other ethnic minorities (Black, Chinese, Eastern European, etc.) and from him, the teachers there are very dedicated.

[neveragainmum]

Thank you for your comments. Ilford county high school sounds like a lovely school with dedicated teachers and it is one of only two that my ds would be able to reasonably travel to. However my reservations founded or not are highlighted when talking to non asian/indian parents who will not try out for this school and wood county due to their concerns relating to friendships. Am I being naive or real?

[tofindout]

One of my friends has similar concern as you. She didn't send her two ds to QE for the same reason. But others don't mind as they are more concerned that their dc are mixed with the motivated dc in the best schools within their reach.

[kironkabir]

I have a brother in yr7 studying at ICHS.

As accounted by him: Only one time did a boy of Indian descent slur racist words to an African boy. However the Indian boy was dealt with IMMEDIATELY by the staff and he hasn't done it again. Thankfully the kids are almost scared into stopping the primary school children act and made to believe that they are older kids with more important issues to worry about: eg the demanding ilford county homework schedule I'm sorry if I sound harsh but that's life. By the way, they do have fun with sports and huge reading encouragement. I guess it's just kids being kids when they mess about

As for fitting in, regardless of the boys' ethnicities, he will find someone to be friends with, whether it be a larger group or niche clique. I shan't elaborate on what I mean.

It's natural that he will scared of this new school environment , but as I told my brother, "you'll be worried for one hour and then you will get bored of being scared" and that's exactly what happened.

Just a word of advice to any parent. Please make sure your kid has all the necessary equipment like pe kits, home works etc. ICHS like to lay down the law for rule breakers

[kelwaypops]

tbh, if anything were to occure, i think it unlikely to be racist or bullying, more about (as already mentioned above) being left out as often people do tend to lean towards their own culture more when socialising. fwiw i am jewish and always found the jews i grew with to be very quite closed off and weren't great mixers. i broke away from my culture as never really felt i fitted in. having said that, i do understand why some cultures find it easier/more comfortable to stick together rather than mix that much with 'outsiders'. whilst i don't like that i do understand it. i don't know if any of this would happen at wch but very sad if it did. fwiw i do know of a girl at a local school where i live that was taken out of school for this very reason.

[kironkabir]

I think that there a few Jewish students in ICHS (I've seen a yamaka or two), but I think your son would fit in with the seemingly dominant South Asian demographic. As long as he holds his head high and looks people in the eye when he talks to them, other kids will respect him for it and will definitely forget about his differences. I'm just talking from experience. I'm a Bangladeshi who went to an all-'white' Catholic school. I'm Muslim and brown lol, but I never had problems there.
However that reminds me of something. Just 5 minutes down the road from ICHS there exists King Solomon High School which brands itself as a 'Modern Orthodox Judaism comprehensive school'. Did you apply for that school too? To be honest, it doesn't matter. Religion/race are barriers that divide us all unnecessarily...