Day off for elevenplus exam day

[tehelka]

Hi, we are a bit worried about a very specific aspect and hope somebody who has experienced it share some insight. our child has just started at an independent, but a year earlier. however, we have registered for the elevenplus exam. the question is how to take day off from the current school? is it good to use the sick-day-off excuse? the school would find out anyways and we fear it wont be a good thing for the future relationship of the child with the school.

Any advice?

[Daogroupie]

Lots of primary school students are this week and next pretending to be sick in order to prepare for the exams at home instead of being in school doing non related work. I would suggest some type of appointment in the middle of a day. DG

[Tinkers]

I think the OP is only talking about taking the test date off.

Unless the current school and the GS are quite far apart, I would think that the school will know exactly what is going on if your DC is 'sick' on that day or has an 'appointment'. They will know when the local admissions tests are and quote possibly expect it.

If that's the case it might actually be better to be honest.

[VH73]

My son's school only wants a copy of a letter from the grammar saying which day. I was surprised too, but I guess they're quite used to it by now.

[tehelka]

I think the OP is only talking about taking the test date off.

Unless the current school and the GS are quite far apart, I would think that the school will know exactly what is going on if your DC is 'sick' on that day or has an 'appointment'. They will know when the local admissions tests are and quote possibly expect it.

If that's the case it might actually be better to be honest.

The schools are quite far apart and dc has just started at the school in year 6. They have both year 6 and year 7 admissions.

[Amber]

Personally I have never lied about my children being sick and never would. I give thanks that they are healthy and there is plenty in the news to remind us of children who aren't. I also think it sets a very bad precedent to children to 'pull a sickie' when there is something they would rather be doing in adult life. Sorry if this sounds sanctimonious but I have always told the truth and see no reason why you shouldn't send a letter in saying your child will be sitting the 11 plus on that day. If you feel really uncomfortable with that then just say 'Son has an appointment at 11 am and will be in later' or something like that.

[tehelka]

Personally I have never lied about my children being sick and never would. I give thanks that they are healthy and there is plenty in the news to remind us of children who aren't. I also think it sets a very bad precedent to children to 'pull a sickie' when there is something they would rather be doing in adult life. Sorry if this sounds sanctimonious but I have always told the truth and see no reason why you shouldn't send a letter in saying your child will be sitting the 11 plus on that day. If you feel really uncomfortable with that then just say 'Son has an appointment at 11 am and will be in later' or something like that.

I totally agree that the difficulty is telling the child to lie. I lie in life, so that part of morality I am fine with. And my second concern is how the school would take it though i know they can always fill in the gap (of course if my child gets admission into another school) at year 7.

[tehelka]

Lots of primary school students are this week and next pretending to be sick in order to prepare for the exams at home instead of being in school doing non related work. I would suggest some type of appointment in the middle of a day. DG

DG, i agree with a primary school, that is alright. however, its a bit tricky here as the child has just started at the new secondary in year 6 and am a bit concerned the school will not take it lightly.

[Amber]

DG, i agree with a primary school, that is alright. however, its a bit tricky here as the child has just started at the new secondary in year 6 and am a bit concerned the school will not take it lightly.

What can they do? You're paying them, for one thing. They can suck their teeth and stamp their feet but not much else.

I lie in life, so that part of morality I am fine with.

Fair enough. I suppose we all do; I just try not to but we are all different.

[Sally-Anne]

I am really not sure what sort of "comeback" you envisage might be wreaked on your child for taking them out of school for the test? Are you imagining that they will write them off? Send them to Coventry? Throw them out of the school now or at the end of Y6?

Indie school Heads are surprisingly pragmatic. They know that a large proportion of their paying customers (and don't forget, that is exactly what you are) would not be there if there was a high quality state alternative available for free, whether it is at prep school age or at 11+.

the school would find out anyways and we fear it wont be a good thing for the future relationship of the child with the school.

You've answered your own question - the school would find out anyway. The relationship that will be most damaged by dishonesty is that between you as a parent and the school staff.

A polite call to the Head to explain the child's absence is the most appropriate route: "I appreciate you may feel disappointed that we are looking at the alternative of a grammar school beyond Y6, especially when [child] has just started with you. I want to assure you that our motivation is entirely financial, something I hope you will understand. Should the 11+ not work out for our child, we will be very happy for him/her to remain at [school name] for their education in the long term, and we chose the school for that reason." Or words to that effect.

(X-post with Amber.)