Life after Primary School

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Mel 1

Life after Primary School

Post by Mel 1 »

Well can anyone tell me how we deal with extremely upset children who after having such a year with 11+ and SATs etc are now having to cope with saying goodbye to so many friends.

I went to pick up my son last night from the schools leavers disco and was absolutely taken a back to encounter all of the children in tears. They were hugging, sobbing, walking around like little Zombies and to say it was distressing is an understatement. I like so many of the other parents was also reduced to tears and could offer no consolation to all of the kids that I put my arms around as there is not anything we can say to make them feel better. Having just spent a 4 day school holiday with them all and having been to many leaving parties that many had I think it all just got too mcuh for them and they all (boys to) just broke down.

I really never imagined it to be as sad as it is.

Tomorrow we have our leavers assembly and I just cannot even begin to imagine how it will be and to make it worse our school is not finishing until Friday so there will be tears, tears and more tears.

What do we do??


M :(
Guest

Post by Guest »

Get a grip!
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Hi Mel1

My son's class were exactly the same last week. Huge great boys, who tower over their Mums these days, all blubbing like babies! And the Mums were starting off as well. Not a happy moment!

What has helped us is
1. Distraction - find plenty to do as soon as school finishes and keep him really busy for several days.
2. Mementoes - in my day it was an autograph book - these days it's digital photos on CD Rom!
3. Exchange email addresses and mobile and home numbers and encourage him to use them regularly - not something boys are always good at.
4. Arrange diary dates with the closest friends now, so that it doesn't seem so final after all. Be willing to include even completely new "friends" on the list - my son's friendships have intensified and grown in number in the last few weeks, knowing that the "axe" was about to fall.

It's working for us so far, so I hope it helps you too.

Sally-Anne
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

I have just seen Guest's reply above mine, and I have to assume that he/she has never seen the genuine anguish that these children feel when their beautifully ordered and secure world is suddenly taken apart. They are also having to confront the prospect of being the little ones again in schools that are up to 6 times the size of the one they are leaving, some of them with no existing friends there.

Yes, they get over it, but it is a very emotional time for the children and worrying for parents. I don't think "Get a Grip" really covers it.

Sally-Anne
Catherine
Posts: 1348
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:47 pm
Location: Berks,Bucks

Post by Catherine »

Most the children from my son's school live locally so it won't be a problem for them to see each other. Also, except for a few grammar children, they will be going to the same upper.
I haven't noticed any great sadness so far, but let's see on Friday after the last assemby and the leaver's disco...
Mel1

Post by Mel1 »

Thanks Sally Anne, I appreciate that

As for guest "get a grip" you clearly don't belong on this site so as this a site for parenst who care!!
Footymad
Posts: 149
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 1:17 pm
Location: nr yorks

Post by Footymad »

Here, here! Sally-Anne

Some people just like to cause conflict :evil: The last week at my daughters school was filled with every emotion imaginable!!

She spent her induction day at her new school on one of the days, then we had parents evening there at night. :)

Another day it was leavers assembly at school and all the girls in her class went to an Italian for a meal without parents they looked lovely and soooo grown up. :shock:

Then on the last day we attended a special assembly at school and my daughter received a special award for her singing and drama contributions throughout primary. :lol:

I cried and cried all week! :cry: but felt really proud too!! :D

Footymad. :wink:
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

I have to make an observation about all this that has been a growing suspicion for a few weeks.

The range of "Leavers" activities arranged by the schools, PAs and parents is just beyond belief. Pool parties, BBQs, disco's, proms, parents' parties, garden parties, day trips, special assemblies, prizegivings...

Judging from our local schools, every school has at least 2 large "Leavers' Events" (many of them in the evening) plus a special assembly.

Add to that the visits to new schools and the usual raft of Summer Term activities - plays, parents' days, sports days, concerts etc.

By the end of term should any of us be surprised that the kids are tired and emotional?

When I left my Junior School I rushed round with an autograph book on the last day and the Head Teacher wished us all luck in assembly! I only recall being excited, not emotionally overwhelmed.

Sally-Anne
forest

Post by forest »

Sally - Anne

I soooooo agree with you. My son's completely shattered, I'm a bit fed up with it all, and as for the poor teachers........
Essex Girl

Leaving junior school

Post by Essex Girl »

It is really traumatic isn't it.

I cried when my last child left primary (a lot more than she did!). However, don't worry. Your son will soon forget about it. Once the excitement of a new school in September not far away, he will soon forget how awful he felt. Children are, fortunately, a lot more resiliant than adults.
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