word of warning

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dogstar

word of warning

Post by dogstar »

Just a quick note to say that our eldest daughter didn't pass the other day. Although we are proud of her it is hard not to think what we have done wrong or could have done differently. Also it seems unless you have a tutor you are stuffed!
Congrats to all those who passed but please remember us! I'm sure your children worked very hard and have been rewarded, but what about those who worked hard and didn't? There is the implication on this website that if you work hard you pass and if you don't then you haven't. This is not always the case. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
patricia
Posts: 2803
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:07 pm

Re: word of warning

Post by patricia »

Dear Dogstar

I note your daughter has, unfortunately, not passed, is it worth appealing? There is a section dedicated to appeals on the website and forum.....why dont you take a look.

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... m.php?f=35

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/11plus ... nswers.php

I do have to make comment on two of your points.....
dogstar wrote: There is the implication on this website that if you work hard you pass and if you don't then you haven't. This is not always the case. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
I certainly hope no one on this website/forum would suggest that if your child does not pass, they have not worked hard.......where are these implications? If I had seen them I would have immediately made comment!
dogstar wrote:Also it seems unless you have a tutor you are stuffed!
Absolutely NOT.....many parents choose to tutor their children with great success.

Patricia
dogstar

Post by dogstar »

Thanks for the help but unfortunately not close enough to appeal. VR and NVR weren't too bad but it was the Maths that let her down, as we thought it probably would. It was only recently introduced in my area as a further way of distinguishing between pupils, in an increasingly popular exam.
I accept your points and although there has been no explicit criticism of children who don't pass, there has been the inference that hard work will be enough. Just wanted to remind everyone that there are many other factors involved which are equally important.
On the point of tutoring, some people have been successful teaching their children themselves. However, i think you have little real chance these days against people that can afford to tutor intensively. This is purely my opinion from what i have seen and heard in my area of Trafford.
Thanks again.
jah

Post by jah »

As I have said on another thread; it is sad to talk of failure with 10 and 11 year olds. Rather say that more people did well on the day than there were school places.
Guest

Post by Guest »

Dogstar

I think both Patricia and jah have both made very good points.

Patricia
Absolutely NOT.....many parents choose to tutor their children with great success.
This works both ways. I know of children in previous years who have been tutored (by a professional) and yet failed 11+ exams, children who have passed without any form of tutoring (not even DIY) and children with DIY who have passed and failed. You are quite right there are lots of factors as to why a child does or doesn't pass the 11+. Your feelings are probably very raw at the moment and you are understandably very disappointed. It will take a while to get past those feelings and move forward. However, as jah said please don't look at this as failure. A quick look at other postings will give you a picture of children who attend comprehensive school and are exceedingly successful. With plenty of parental support, a positive work ethic and a group of likeminded peers (and there will be plenty of those at secondary school) I have no doubt your daughter has the potential to do as well as, if not better than those at grammar.
This is not the end, it is just the beginning.
Guest

Post by Guest »

Dear Dogstar i sympathise with your situation completely, my 1st and 2nd child did not pass the eleven plus but my third has just passed the trafford 11+. All three of my children worked equally as hard with practise papers but the youngest has always been more academic. I found it very difficult, as my youngest daughters friends were receiving all sorts of rewards for passing and yet i was equally proud of all three of my children and felt i couldn't treat her any different from my other two by buying her a special treat for passing. Although Iam very proud of her, I found it much easier being part of the "didn't pass crowd" some parents have been a bit off with me and some of their comments have been a bit spiteful.
dogstar

Post by dogstar »

Thanks for all the advice. Have heard many comments recently about how good comprehensives are and i agree, it is the child and not the school that is important, though it helps of course.
We have tried to encourage our daughter and remind her that she will have further opportunities to shine, not least in the SATs. I think that after a while we will all pick ourselves up and feel a lot more positive.
I think that it has been harder for me to adjust as i passed when i was younger, as did my siblings, and anything less would have been considered failure by my parents. It is hard not to bring that mindset with you in regard to your own children. I am now faced with the other side of the coin and so it is hard. I completely agree though that much has changed and certainly in our area the comprehensive schools can hold their own very well.
It is nice to hear different stories of success from both sets of schools and shows that you really can do anything if you put your mind to it (pardon the cliche!!)
Thanks
boney

Post by boney »

Dogstar there have been some very interesting comments since you first brought this subject up.

My son has just failed to reach the pass mark also in Trafford, as I have mentioned in the Trafford section, I will not be appealing, I know my son will blossom at say BTH.

Yes some parents and can be quite spiteful.

One comment I heard was "my child did better than your's with no tutoring" big deal!

All the children I know made a great effort, good luck to all that passed, and the same good luck to all the others who I,m sure will see their hard work pay off at a later date.

regards
RR

Post by RR »

Dogstar and Boney,

What your children have, and will never lose, are supportive parents. Where ever they eventually go, that will count for alot.

Also this post tells a story in itself....
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... .php?t=510

Best wishes

RR
dogstar

Post by dogstar »

Just thought i would say how much better everything seems one week on from finding out the results. It no longer feels like the end of the world and it is a relief to not be constantly thinking about it! (apart from on here of course).
Things have got back to normal again in the playground, though no one had been obviously nasty. We now chat about the usual things such as homework, teachers, parents evening etc. I know that as the school year ends it will probably become difficult again, but i'm trying to be optimistic for the future. Our daughter seems to feel better about everything too.
Thanks for all your replies, it has made the whole process a lot easier to deal with.
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