Our story - a year on from 'failure'

Eleven Plus (11+) in Kent

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Mum007
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:56 pm

Our story - a year on from 'failure'

Post by Mum007 »

Just logging in for the first time in a year... not that I haven't been around, I have....just lurking, never posting. I never got round to congratulating those who now go to grammar following a successful appeal. Way to go! Congratulations! :D

I really do wish everyone the best of luck for tomorrow. For some, the news will result in much jubilation, but for others.... just despair like it was for me last year. For me, it wasn't particularly straight away, but a couple of days afterward when I literally just crashed out with the emotion.

I've come out the other side of it all now and I just wanted to let people know that things can turn out OK in the end. I was really 'down' for quite some time, sometimes having to make excuses for my red puffy eyes. Perhaps they knew really, I don't know. Sometimes it really 'hurt' :cry: ; finding out others who had passed who were no more 'clever' than my own son; the trip to the school outfitters (yes!); the 'twist' in the sort of 'pecking order' at work and so on.

My son is now reaching the end of his first half-term at his new school - the local comp. I now realise that there is another sort of 'bubble' in addition to the bubble of academic achievement. I know I'm a bit slow on the up-take and it didn't matter how many times I was told, I actually had to believe it for myself.... This bubble encompasses happiness, self-esteem and confidence. DS has plenty of all of those things for which I am truly thankful. He is his own person..... and that's grand. He is, according to his form tutor, making excellent progress, made it to top maths, has wowed teachers and kids with his knowledge of different subjects and is very happy to be seen as a geek! He would have had none of that in the bottom half of a grammar.

What will be, will be. Be proud of your children. Take care. x
reginaphalangie
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:31 pm
Location: North West Kent

Post by reginaphalangie »

Lovely to hear - I have the same feelings of sadness when I look at my son number 2 in his special school uniform and think he is never going to be in mainstream like his brother. Remember all, that if your child is bright they will I promise generally do well regardless of the secondary school they go to, if they are keen and eager to achieve they will. If they are very bright but lazy they will do a lot worse.
dikili
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:37 am

Post by dikili »

That is a lovely post thank you I will re-read it if its bad news and it is so nice you took the time to write it. Not all will pass and your right bright children will do well anywhere and much better for the self esteem to be at the top in comp than at the bottom struggling in grammar.
jingle
Posts: 290
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:35 pm
Location: kent

Post by jingle »

Would like to say thanks for both of you for taking the time to post the above. I found them both very moving and thought provoking. I am glad to be reminded of how much more we have to celebrate about our children than the schools they attend. x
Tracy
Posts: 1123
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:28 am
Location: Bexley

Post by Tracy »

Thank you so much for posting, it really means a lot to me.
Yarny
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:24 am

One year on ..

Post by Yarny »

Thank you Mum 007, that was such a nice post to read and gives me hope.
alfie2
Posts: 82
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:51 am
Location: Kent

Post by alfie2 »

A lovely post mum007. It's so nice to hear a positive story.

We are lucky we have a good comprehensive locally and if my daughter ends up there I know she will do well.
Alfie
Nimrod
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:48 am

Post by Nimrod »

The post from Mum007 should be compulsory reading for anyone joining this forum. Education isn't just about academic achievement, I know plenty of unhappy people with degrees! Think about emotional and social development, confidence, self esteem and don't just focus on exam results.

Well done and bravo. My son is waiting for his own 11+ results today but whether he passes or not is almost immaterial as I know he did his best and that's really what counts.
dadoftwo
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:41 pm

Post by dadoftwo »

Nimrod wrote:The post from Mum007 should be compulsory reading for anyone joining this forum. Education isn't just about academic achievement, I know plenty of unhappy people with degrees! Think about emotional and social development, confidence, self esteem and don't just focus on exam results.

Well done and bravo. My son is waiting for his own 11+ results today but whether he passes or not is almost immaterial as I know he did his best and that's really what counts.
Spot on! Great post.
Yarny
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:24 am

Post by Yarny »

That's just what I needed to hear, Nimroad, thanks for that.
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