I had thought you were the same person with two different user names as you both made the same drafting errors. If this is the case you would now be having a conversation with yourself. So I must be wrong.
I'm not sure what your question is, what age your child is, what exams they really are doing etc etc. However, if you have a good search amongst the discussions on this site and in the bookshop here and elsewhere I'm sure you'll both find something useful. If there isn't anything which fits the current problems your child is experiencing in improving his story and essay writing then maybe come back with a more finely-honed question?