Travel information
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fm
Re: Travel information
I think I may qualify as one of the worst parents in Birmingham.
We had been living here for 3 months when my eldest started at secondary school. I waved her off, saying remember it's the 22. I had, however, forgotten to tell her on which side of the road she should be standing. She had only visited this school twice but fortunately proved she was of grammar school calibre by realising her mistake when she arrived in the city centre and simply staying on the bus.
I did remember, however, to tell my second child on which side of the road he should be so I have improved since then.
As to following a bus, I think this is actually insulting to the child...either that or i am just too lazy.
We had been living here for 3 months when my eldest started at secondary school. I waved her off, saying remember it's the 22. I had, however, forgotten to tell her on which side of the road she should be standing. She had only visited this school twice but fortunately proved she was of grammar school calibre by realising her mistake when she arrived in the city centre and simply staying on the bus.
I did remember, however, to tell my second child on which side of the road he should be so I have improved since then.
As to following a bus, I think this is actually insulting to the child...either that or i am just too lazy.
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tokyonambu
- Posts: 109
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:38 pm
Re: Travel information
"As to following a bus, I think this is actually insulting to the child...either that or i am just too lazy."
The part I don't understand is what the parent is actually thinking of doing. Some pieces of obsessive over-protectiveness sort-of make sense in their own terms: if you drive your child to school in a car, then they are not exposed to people on the bus, for example, which if that's your worry is at least self-consistent. But if they're on the bus and you're in the following car, you won't even see them being gunned down by a drug gang (a regular event on the 11, to hear some parents talk) until it's too late. They're on the bus. You're in the car. Even if your worst fears were to come true, just what are you going to do about it? It doesn't make sense even in its own terms.
The part I don't understand is what the parent is actually thinking of doing. Some pieces of obsessive over-protectiveness sort-of make sense in their own terms: if you drive your child to school in a car, then they are not exposed to people on the bus, for example, which if that's your worry is at least self-consistent. But if they're on the bus and you're in the following car, you won't even see them being gunned down by a drug gang (a regular event on the 11, to hear some parents talk) until it's too late. They're on the bus. You're in the car. Even if your worst fears were to come true, just what are you going to do about it? It doesn't make sense even in its own terms.
Re: Travel information
dh followed ds1 on his first journey to check he'd got off at the right stop.
Once we'd established that he knew where to get off, there was no need to be followed after that
ds1 also came home once saying that a man had been smoking upstairs on the 11 and he was about to point out that this was not allowed
but I texted him so he was busy replying to me.
I don't know what the man would have said, maybe something along the lines of, 'Oh dear, I do apologise for inconveniencing you, my dear child'
Anyway, we never did get to find out. Moral of the story: text your child as much as possible.
Once we'd established that he knew where to get off, there was no need to be followed after that
ds1 also came home once saying that a man had been smoking upstairs on the 11 and he was about to point out that this was not allowed
but I texted him so he was busy replying to me.I don't know what the man would have said, maybe something along the lines of, 'Oh dear, I do apologise for inconveniencing you, my dear child'
Anyway, we never did get to find out. Moral of the story: text your child as much as possible.
Re: Travel information
Errr - what was DH going to do if DS didn't get off the bus?
I find our son's mobile to be of limited value. He never answers it (he usually has it turned off in his bag, after prolongued harangue he's agreed to keep it in his pocket...still turned off though so not really an advance), never responds to texts and on the odd couple of occasions when he's actually needed it it's been respectively (a) at home on his bedside table (b) out of battery and (c) U/S due to faulty SIM card. The one saving grace is that I've only needed to top up his account once in more than 2 years
. As far as I can see, he only uses it to text his friends to find out what homework he's forgotten and to make extremely brusque calls demanding a lift when he doesn't fancy dragging himself to the bus stop.
Mike
I find our son's mobile to be of limited value. He never answers it (he usually has it turned off in his bag, after prolongued harangue he's agreed to keep it in his pocket...still turned off though so not really an advance), never responds to texts and on the odd couple of occasions when he's actually needed it it's been respectively (a) at home on his bedside table (b) out of battery and (c) U/S due to faulty SIM card. The one saving grace is that I've only needed to top up his account once in more than 2 years
. As far as I can see, he only uses it to text his friends to find out what homework he's forgotten and to make extremely brusque calls demanding a lift when he doesn't fancy dragging himself to the bus stop.Mike
Re: Travel information
[quote="mike1880"]Errr - what was DH going to do if DS didn't get off the bus?
He was going to continue following the bus until he did get off
He was going to continue following the bus until he did get off
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DIY Mum
- Posts: 744
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Re: Travel information
In my day, we started walking to school independently from y4.
Ds2's primary allows them to walk on their own in y6 which he does relatively early so that he can play football with his friends.
Ds2's primary allows them to walk on their own in y6 which he does relatively early so that he can play football with his friends.
Re: Travel information
Probably Y4 also, or perhaps earlier - my mother decided she'd had enough of me hanging around the house and hoofed me out of the front door to play some time before I was school age (i.e. before I actually had any friends of my own, as opposed to ones my mother had organised) so I'm sure she didn't waste much time trudging to and from school. I was certainly still primary age when my sister and I were handed a shopping list and a purse every Saturday morning and sent off to do the family shop (I used to mentally add up the weight of each item and complain bitterly about the weight we were being expected to carry when we got home - much good it ever did me!).
But in those days you could go for hours without a car coming down our street, there was only one main road to cross on the way to school (and there was a crossing patrol there) and Childline hadn't been invented...
Mike
But in those days you could go for hours without a car coming down our street, there was only one main road to cross on the way to school (and there was a crossing patrol there) and Childline hadn't been invented...
Mike
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fm
Re: Travel information
There are still towns in Scotland where the children walk on their own from the age of 5 but, because everybody does it, they go en masse and the traffic is forced to watch out for them, a bit like having no choice but to stop when a herd of mindless cows meander across a road. But then the traffic is also much lighter because no one is driving their children to school.
I was nearly knocked down the first day I walked to school with my eldest brother at 5. He was 8. He crossed, I daydreamed, then he gesticulated from the other side of the road. I assumed he meant cross and did so, regardless of the car coming which braked violently. The driver got out and yelled at my brother. My brother whacked me and yelled at me all the way to school and refused to ever take me again. My mother yelled at me 7 hours later when she was told. My other brother sniggered at me being told off which was probably the worst humiliation.
So, from that day on, I walked by myself, and you can be sure the echoes of all that yelling ensured I never crossed unsafely again.
These days I probably would have received counselling for my near death experience and my mother would have been prosecuted for child neglect. I am just profoundly glad I am not having to grow up these days as I would have missed out on all the pleasurable hours I had out in the world as a young child, climbing trees till I was just too scared to go higher, paddling in rivers and lochs despite not being able to swim a stroke, cycling for hours with a jam sandwich as a snack and no parents with a clue where we were.
And, goodness, mustn't it have been so much easier to be a parent then, too, with no expectation that you would even look at your child's school work far less help them with it.
I was nearly knocked down the first day I walked to school with my eldest brother at 5. He was 8. He crossed, I daydreamed, then he gesticulated from the other side of the road. I assumed he meant cross and did so, regardless of the car coming which braked violently. The driver got out and yelled at my brother. My brother whacked me and yelled at me all the way to school and refused to ever take me again. My mother yelled at me 7 hours later when she was told. My other brother sniggered at me being told off which was probably the worst humiliation.
So, from that day on, I walked by myself, and you can be sure the echoes of all that yelling ensured I never crossed unsafely again.
These days I probably would have received counselling for my near death experience and my mother would have been prosecuted for child neglect. I am just profoundly glad I am not having to grow up these days as I would have missed out on all the pleasurable hours I had out in the world as a young child, climbing trees till I was just too scared to go higher, paddling in rivers and lochs despite not being able to swim a stroke, cycling for hours with a jam sandwich as a snack and no parents with a clue where we were.
And, goodness, mustn't it have been so much easier to be a parent then, too, with no expectation that you would even look at your child's school work far less help them with it.
Re: Travel information
Yes, people may say that mothers now have it easier - with washing machines, dishwashers, cars etc. But I think that we're increasingly isolated and pressurised and that it is actually much harder now.
My mum (now 60) talks about being a child and how she would go with her 2 younger sisters and knock on the doors of neighbours to ask to look after their babies for the day. The babies would be placed in a pram, with a milk bottle wrapped in a tea towel to keep warm, and my mum (aged about eight) and her younger sisters (3 and 5) would go down to the park for the whole day with the babies and a packet of biscuits.
Now, I have 5 children 'under my feet' all the time, unable to go out (we live on a busy main road) or even walk to the local park (mad dogs and drug dealers) without me coming with them, it can quickly become very hard to manage. Holidays become pressured times, with me searching for expensive sports camps to keep them occupied and preserve my sanity. I wish they could just go to the park/woods and play in the stream, but I'd probably be prosecuted if they did. Our Primary school won't even let my Year 3 and 5 children walk out down the path to the entrance alone - I have to be at the classroom door to collect them. Even when my littlest had bad bronchiolitis, I had to take him out and stand in the freezing cold to escort the children to the car
As for Childline, because it is promoted so much, my children ring it constantly, to complain about their dinner, lack of pudding, too much homework
their siblings, etc etc. I do hear most of the calls as they make no secret of it. The purpose of the helpline is honourable but for me, as for other parents, its just another pressure and stress.
I can foresee more 'gated' developments as found in the US, as parents increasingly want their child to be able to feel some freedom safely.
My mum (now 60) talks about being a child and how she would go with her 2 younger sisters and knock on the doors of neighbours to ask to look after their babies for the day. The babies would be placed in a pram, with a milk bottle wrapped in a tea towel to keep warm, and my mum (aged about eight) and her younger sisters (3 and 5) would go down to the park for the whole day with the babies and a packet of biscuits.
Now, I have 5 children 'under my feet' all the time, unable to go out (we live on a busy main road) or even walk to the local park (mad dogs and drug dealers) without me coming with them, it can quickly become very hard to manage. Holidays become pressured times, with me searching for expensive sports camps to keep them occupied and preserve my sanity. I wish they could just go to the park/woods and play in the stream, but I'd probably be prosecuted if they did. Our Primary school won't even let my Year 3 and 5 children walk out down the path to the entrance alone - I have to be at the classroom door to collect them. Even when my littlest had bad bronchiolitis, I had to take him out and stand in the freezing cold to escort the children to the car
As for Childline, because it is promoted so much, my children ring it constantly, to complain about their dinner, lack of pudding, too much homework
their siblings, etc etc. I do hear most of the calls as they make no secret of it. The purpose of the helpline is honourable but for me, as for other parents, its just another pressure and stress.I can foresee more 'gated' developments as found in the US, as parents increasingly want their child to be able to feel some freedom safely.