Easier second time round?

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It seems that my dd has safely achieved her first choice school with a respectable score - but my question is: as it was such a stressful journey first time round, does the road seem less tumultuous second time round? We have a ds to go through the fun & games in a few years' time.
Any suggestions welcome - especially the usual punters, UmSusu, Mike, um, DIYMum et al (as they've had , at least, twice the fun).

[mike1880]

Second time was definitely much easier because (a) our son had already passed and our daughter is at least as clever and (b) she's confident, mature, organised and consistent so we knew she would do herself justice and (c) she got some very good indie results just before allocation day. If our son had been second I wouldn't have slept between November and March!

[UmSusu]

That is a clever trick, equation - naming us so we have to make a response

Yes. Definitely less drama the second time around. I think I must have lived, eaten and breathed nothing but 11 plus the first time around . I was also a lot more worried about DS1 as I knew he would have to work really hard to even be in with a chance but did not want him to work so hard that he passes an exam but struggles to keep up with the pace when he gets there. The second time it is easier to judge the standard required against your child - we might not admit it but we know how bright our children are in comparison to each other to be able to guess if they have a better or worse chance.

Either way, you don't waste time fretting about all the smaller, time-consuming details of the process and you learn that there is only so much you can / should be prepared to do - after that it is left to fate : in the end they might just turn up on the day and do what DS2 did and turn 2 pages of the exam sheet and miss a section

UmSusu

[moseleymum]

Definitely much easier second time round in terms of stress and preparation, and especially not getting caught up in the scaremongering of other parents

DS1 is far more academic than DD1 and we thought it would be much harder for DD1 to achieve as much, especially since we felt she has been completely underestimated at her school (labelled as unacademic very early on with the remedial maths class, school refusal to move her to a higher group etc).

As it was our second time through the process, we took a far more relaxed approach, no pressure on her as we realised there was only so much we (and she) could do. Anyway as it turned out, she scored very well, making over 240. Although her score is safe for CHG, she seems to be like her brother after all in that she doesn't want to go to CH....

If it had been our first attempt there's no doubt the uncertainty about what we were doing would have shown, we know we did far less than others in her class but it was more targetted, if that makes sense. I followed a lot of the advice on here and it was all she needed

[bromley mum]

Sorry, I found it the other way around. Although, the first time around had the stress of it all being new, it was the easiest of the three. The 3 DC are the same as far as ability to do the needed and sitting down to do the prep. We kept it low key every time, but with each one, the pressure to get in the school the sister was in, increased. DC 1 was unaware what the whole thing was all about, DC 2 more so and DC 3 had assumed she'll go to the same school as the other two from the time she was in Reception! So had to deal with that. So, yes this time around is definitely the worst AND the cut off score keeps increasing every year. Should have had triplets then could have done it all together!

[moseleymum]

I completely understand where you are coming from bromley mum. Well done on making it through three times!

The second time was much easier than the first, as per the OPs question. However I am already starting to realise that the third will be much harder, for the reasons you explained.

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Thanks for the reponses.
I'm sure we'll be a bit more relaxed second time - BUT my only concern is that, since my DS is a summer child, he seems a lot more immature than what my dd was at the same age (7). I believe maturity counts for quite a lot in a CEM test so I hope it doesn't count against us.
I believe boys tend to be a bit more immature than girls & also (possibly) lazier - well mine is in doing his homework (he'll complete it in 10 mins just to get it over & done with it). Thankfully he's as academically adept as my dd but one major difference is that he despises reading which is a little concerning in a vocab-rich test.
How do you motivate an unenthusiastic child? Any replies would be interesting (including humorous ones).

[Pumpkin Pie]

Equation, there are lots of ways to boost vocabulary while making it fun. Play games like Scrabble, Hangman, Whirly Word, Crosswords, Jumbeline, Word Searches, etc. There are also some 11+ apps for vocal too, and they are all fun to do. Check out free online word games on PC too. My DD is not an avid reader, but all the above has boosted her vocabulary!

Just thought I'd add that it was worse second time around for me. The first time with DS I was oblivious to the whole 11+. My son was happy to go to the local feeder school so we just entered him to sit the entrance exam for GS just to see what would happen as he's very bright. The Monday before the test on the Saturday I bought him a Bond VR book (10 min tests) as I thought he ought to be familiar with VR as he hadn't done it before! On the day of the test he hadn't ever done any practice papers in maths or English and had just got a taster of VR from the 10min tests. Well, he passed with flying colours!

With DD this year she really wanted to go to GS and having found this forum I was 'horrified' to learn of the lengths some people go to in order to get their DC into GS. Tutors, summer camps, mock tests etc.,etc. It made me realise how naive I was first time round. So with DD I had to make sure she passed as it was what she wanted so we were better prepared....... only to the extent though of doing practice papers before the exam. (Don't agree with tutors, summer camps etc). She too passed with flying colours! But with DD I felt all the pressure and anxiety as she had set her heart on GS!

[Bromleymum1]

Hi equation,

My DS also is summer child and not into reading. I asked Head of English at local grammar how we can help DS. She suggested using subjects he enjoys as a way into reading. For example, if he enjoys sports, he could read about the history of sport, biographies etc.. If he has favourite authors, make sure he has plenty of their books. For example, my son likes David Almond, Anthony Horowitz and Michael Morpurgo - I've just bought a box set of 16 Michael Morpugo books for him.

Head of English said that reading is the key to high level achievement in English. Other things we do are encourage son to read independently every day for 20 minutes, get him listening to audio books and I try and read to him every day - always his choice.

Good luck!

[Okanagan]

It's harder when you have one of those boys who will read but doesn't really go in for fiction. They type of vocabulary they acquire from non-fiction reading tends not to be that required in the tests.