Confused with comments from 11 plus tutor for entry 2014.

[catwoman]

Thanks everyone for your really valuable comments its really means alot to me. Muminbrum i don't think i pile on the pressure with my Ds i try to spend 3 good hours a week just on 11 plus work and the rest of the time he does his school work and after school activities,such as his musical interests. I have talked to him about the fact that there is a good secondary comp just around the corner from our house and it has an excellent report from OFSTED but i think his friends are all talking about the fact that there all going to pass and get into Grammar schools. He is in middle group maths but has just recently moved up from bottom so i can see he is improving, his maths teacher says he is progressing 'steadily'. Thanks um, i note the fact that you said it would be detrimental to the other children if my Ds joined the group which is a fair point, but when i asked the tutor if i could have a look at the test my Ds was given he said no, i said i didnt want to take it home only see his weak points at the centre so he could improve on them and he was quite blatant and repeated no. I don't personally see any harm in this.

I did have my heart set on this centre as i am aware of lots of children passing there and i feel that the tutor must know something that i don't know and be teaching something different.

Moseleymum i felt really reassured when i read your post it feels as though you can really relate to me with your Dd, which school does she attend now? i did feel really deflated at first but after reading all the advice now from such lovely people i am going to try my very best for my Ds because he has the motivation and so do i and as muminbrum said we have nothing to lose and we have plenty of time. Thank you so much everyone

[poohbear]

I don't want to put you off or sound 'off' but I know from my son that there are children in his school who qualified for a place due to lots of hard work and tutoring. however the reality of the GS means that now they struggle all the time to keep up and are consequently miserable. It is perhaps better to be at the top of a good comp than struggle at the grammar?

[moseleymum]

Moseleymum i felt really reassured when i read your post it feels as though you can really relate to me with your Dd, which school does she attend now? i did feel really deflated at first but after reading all the advice now from such lovely people i am going to try my very best for my Ds because he has the motivation and so do i and as muminbrum said we have nothing to lose and we have plenty of time. Thank you so much everyone

DD now attends CHG. If someone had told me then that she would end up where she is, I would never have believed them (no offence to DD ).I just looked up her assessment from Year 4 to remind me. It said some of her answers were quote random, or the opposite of what was required and she had scores such as 1 out of 12 for vocabulary and 6 out of 20 for mental arithmetic, so not particularly strong in anything. At the end of it I was, unsurprisingly, told she wasn't on track at all.

She completely transformed when I took time out to guide her through the topics she needed to grasp. As her understanding improved, so did her confidence, and it snowballed from there really. By the end of it she impressed me!

I understand it's disheartening to be told your DC might not be a suitable candidate but I always tell my children it's better to try and fail than to fail to try.

I don't want to put you off or sound 'off' but I know from my son that there are children in his school who qualified for a place due to lots of hard work and tutoring. however the reality of the GS means that now they struggle all the time to keep up and are consequently miserable. It is perhaps better to be at the top of a good comp than struggle at the grammar?

Completely understand your point of view but children can struggle in any school at any pace. It's important to choose the right school for your child based on the child's personality rather than solely relying on league tables or the perception that one is better than the other due to prestige or other factors. DD has never been happier at school and if she needs further support then I will be there to help her . Of course it's early days for her but for now, she is doing well (thank god) and is certainly keeping up with her peers.

[Happy dad]

I don't want to put you off or sound 'off' but I know from my son that there are children in his school who qualified for a place due to lots of hard work and tutoring. however the reality of the GS means that now they struggle all the time to keep up and are consequently miserable. It is perhaps better to be at the top of a good comp than struggle at the grammar?

But given the vast majority of children are tutored, which invariably involves hard work, doesn't this then apply to most children at GS?

[Daogroupie]

I don't see any difference between tutoring and learning at school. It is just all learning. Children who work hard get better. They don't go backwards. The issue is when they get into the school and then stop working hard because nobody is organising it all for them. No student who continues to work hard will fail at a selective school. It is the ones who spend their time on electronic gadgets and social media and staying up late and getting drunk at parties who will not do well. The ones I see failing are simply spending their time doing other things. Some of them are too tired to attend in class because they have been up late playing computer games. No child is failing because they have been over tutored. They are failing because others are working harder than they are and so they slip down the rankings. This is exactly the same as gaining a place in the first place. They are very able, but others are also very able and they are working hard. No surprise then who gets the places. DG