11 Plus Exams Forum

White Hair:

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


Kids have an answer for everything! Well mine do....

“Sugar why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper.” Said Dorothy to her Husband of 50 years. “Sure thing,” said her husband settling himself down. “Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” Questioned Dorothy. “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He responded. After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, their guest Bob couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy do you always talk to your husband like that?” “Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”

Awww i love it Quasimodo.... I always talk to my DH so affectionately (when we have guests!)

When we don't, not so affectionately.
He is steering clear of me at the moment as he knows I am slightly stressed out.

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Molly: Seven!

Teacher: No! Molly listen carefully again.
If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Molly: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way.
If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Molly: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Molly: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Molly: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

Holidays always cause arguments in our house. I like to go to lively places, see some sites, play some sport, catch a bit of sun, eat great food. And my wife likes to come with me.

I saw a loaf in a cage at the zoo yesterday. It was bread in captivity.

It’s clear,” said the teacher, “that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”

The child replies,

“Well–my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait a little while until it settles down.”

I like the Prof Sir Ken Robinson teacher / pupil Joke in his famous TED talk on schools and creativity.

Girl at back of primary class doing artwork.

Teacher to Girl, "what are you drawing?"

Girl, "I am drawing a picture of God"

Teacher, "But no one knows what God looks like"

Girl, "They will in five minutes!"