What would you do in our situation?

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sbarnes
Posts: 583
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:30 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by sbarnes »

what does your heart say? forget the brain for now..

Because in a few years time when you look back, it will be the heart and emotion that will be used to reflect on the decision made. As someone has said, for some people, its the time spent with the kids that is all important and encompassing, certainly for me. I have put my career on hold for several years to spend time with child; 3 hrs a day commute will become an issue around GCSE and A level time too. Good luck
MSD
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Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:08 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by MSD »

sbarnes wrote:what does your heart say? forget the brain for now..

Because in a few years time when you look back, it will be the heart and emotion that will be used to reflect on the decision made. As someone has said, for some people, its the time spent with the kids that is all important and encompassing, certainly for me. I have put my career on hold for several years to spend time with child; 3 hrs a day commute will become an issue around GCSE and A level time too. Good luck
My heart says move closer, but there is another part screaming out and questioning if we really will be happy in our new home. I know it's only bricks and mortar, but I will love to literally pick mine and drop it close to the school.

I think I need another self-build project :D
quasimodo
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 2:47 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by quasimodo »

MSD wrote:We are in a bit of dilemma. My eldest is currently in Year 9, attending KEFW. We very much hope (results pending but did well in QM) that our little one will join elder brother at the same school in September next year.

My son's daily commute on Green Bus currently can be in excess of 3 and half hours both ways. He leaves home around 6:55am and gets back at 5:20pm - almost being in full time work or even worse :(

We considered relocating close to the school, but then postponed it just to see how the little one gets on. At that time we were quite clear in our mind that we had no other option but to relocate if the little master ends up at the same school. However, discussing it with the boys now, my eldest is quite happy with his commute and loves it, and the little one is insistent that we will be completely unfair to him if we didn't provide him with the opportunity to enjoy the same lovely bus ride as his brother :roll:

We self-built our home, worked really hard on it and now emotionally attached to it, and, quite frankly, can't see us buying another place. If we did however sell it, I see us making a big financial loss and probably buying half the size home in Harborne or Edgbaston for the same amount of money.

But at the same time, I feel as parents we are being selfish and putting our kids through this treacherous journey, 5 days a week, for the next 7 years. To be honest so far we have not noticed any impact on his studies due to excessive journey, but I am also aware that these are early days, and as he moves on to do GCSE and A levels it will become more of an issue.

Our work really isn't an issue, if we relocate. It will probably be lot easier for both of us and less commute.

I know a lot parents on this forum who have been through the same process? Can excessive hours of commute take a serious toll on their studies? What would you recommend in our situation?
What about changing schools for your eldest if its possible? I don't know where you live and I know many parents are attached to particular schools so wouldn't even consider it.If your youngest as a an example had a place at QMGS the journey from some parts of North Birmingham is a lot shorter and a lot easier than to KE Five Ways.Both could then go to the same school.This a tangent and I may be completely off mark.There is not a lot to choose between many good Grammar schools in the area and I think it is right to think of the impact of a long commute on academic results.

My youngest's dds commute in year 7 is taking 3 hours a day by school bus(was supposed to take 2 hours).We will continue with it for this year and next year look to do a car share to reduce it to 1 hour and 20 minutes.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln
MSD
Posts: 1731
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:08 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by MSD »

We are based in Wolverhampton, and, unfortunately, we don't have any local grammar schools available for boys. The two closest will be QM Boys Walsall and KEFW.

Both of them are pretty much the same distance from us, however the advantage we have with KEFW is that there is a dedicated Green bus straight to school from our door stop. So no hassle of changing buses but it still does take an hour and half each way :(
Petitpois
Posts: 1440
Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2015 7:44 am

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by Petitpois »

Car share is an idea. If 4 Dc get dropped and picked up by DP's then costs of petrol and hassle are a quarter on a rotating schedule. May to wing it till she makes friends tho
Bob1892
Posts: 1186
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:14 am

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by Bob1892 »

MSD wrote:We are based in Wolverhampton, and, unfortunately, we don't have any local grammar schools available for boys. The two closest will be QM Boys Walsall and KEFW.

Both of them are pretty much the same distance from us, however the advantage we have with KEFW is that there is a dedicated Green bus straight to school from our door stop. So no hassle of changing buses but it still does take an hour and half each way :(
How does your lad cope with 3 hours on the bus every school day out of interest MSD?
I suppose he's got used to it and made some good friends on the bus.
MSD
Posts: 1731
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:08 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by MSD »

Bob1892 wrote:How does your lad cope with 3 hours on the bus every school day out of interest MSD?
I suppose he's got used to it and made some good friends on the bus.
He has never really complained and seems to enjoy it. You will really be surprised how many kids do it. We are the second or third pick up point for the bus and it gets to us around 6:55am. I see two or 3 lads already on the bus and it picks another 5 or 6 from the next stop which is few minutes away. So lot of children in the same boat :(
HappyRobot
Posts: 227
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:02 am

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by HappyRobot »

Kids get used to all sorts, so if he enjoys the cameradie and "mucking about" on the bus, then that's great and no need to change.

I know a boy who travelled from Knowle to Five Ways and in 6th form learnt to drive so that he could get himself to school quickly, so that may be an option down the line.

The travel time put us off Five Ways, but you know, we're not you and you sound like you have a happy boy and another one who is fine to join him too.
Bob1892
Posts: 1186
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:14 am

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by Bob1892 »

MSD- how do the kids like it where you currently live? Do they like the area, house, have they got many friends, relatives etc. nearby? If they like where they are and don't mind the commute and you've spent a lot of money on your house I would say stick with your status quo.
Unless you want a small 3 bed terrace in Harborne at twice the price (not that there's anything wrong with a 3 bed terrace on Harborne! :)
If you guys are ready for a move ie want a different area, shorter commute then you know what you must do.
In the end we've been sacrificing a lot for our kids to get them a GS place and they're growing up now so their input will be getting quite important now.
mombrum
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 4:04 pm

Re: What would you do in our situation?

Post by mombrum »

From reading your post briefly I would just like to add that we live in Harborne and have done for many years. It is expensive but we love it and you can always sell up and leave when the kids are older as the houses hold their value. My son has just started at KEFW and it is so convenient with 2 Green buses plus lots of public transport to choose from, I also have the option of taking him myself which takes 10 minutes. Another plus is that there are lots of KEFWs kids who live in the area, I would say 20 + that I know of myself. Also we have youth clubs, scouts and endless other activities all within walking distance. My son is in the house by 4.10 every day which gives him lots of time outside of school. Best of luck with your decision.
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