For DD2 were looking at options that are more nurturing. It feels like she needs a 12+ exam, but we live in a world where it is 11+, so we are happy to consider a wider array of options.
Oh Petitpois - have so been there. Little fish was definitely not ready in Sept 2013 - physically yes, but emotionally and educationally we were behind by 6 months +. She just didn't get why it was that important - maybe she had the right attitude. She is doing well at her state non-selective and is ridiculously happy having lots of free time for outside interests. It also didn't help that this was all new to me and papa trout. We just had no real idea what the 11+ was all about.
I don't have a crystal ball but I have begun to feel over the years that, sure, prepare for these big exams but in terms of getting in (whether that's grammar school, sixth form or uni) - if it's meant to be it will happen.
For all of you going through this and potentially facing disappointment or an anxious wait - keep your patience, think through your options but, most importantly, don't treat not getting into a grammar as the end of the world. It puts too many expectations on your child - and there are too many factors and too many children sitting the Birmingham grammar schools entrance exam (11+) to ever make this just about your child's performance.
I sincerely believe anyone scoring > 200 on the 11+ could thrive at a grammar - the KE Consortium must also think so as PP cut offs aren't that much higher. The problem in Birmingham at least, is they could never offer places to all the children scoring >200. So there is a cut off.
Everyone is different, but we're incredibly proud little fish nearly got into a grammar in 2013 ( for 2014 entry). She came very close and we know how far she travelled and how hard she worked to achieve that. We still celebrate that achievement as much as small fry getting into CHG (2015 exam for 2016 entry).