New year 7s - how's it going?
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Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
DS bag feels like its full of rocks! He panicked one day that he had lost his French textbook, only to find he had put it in somebody else's locker (don't ask me how!)crazycrofter wrote:Oh yes, I remember dd being the same - her first couple of bags broke under the weight of her books! She's better now, more ruthless!
With ds I'm making him take all his books out at home every night and only take in the subjects he's got each day.
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
It's good to see so many smooth beginnings. I want would appreciate some advice:
DS3 is enjoying the school and all his new lessons but does not seem to be making any friends. He spends breaks and lunchtimes on his own. I have told him to try going to the clubs but he does not have the confidence to ask where and when they are.
He is quite timid and we have told him that it takes a while in year 7 but it looks like it is starting to bother him now.
DS3 is enjoying the school and all his new lessons but does not seem to be making any friends. He spends breaks and lunchtimes on his own. I have told him to try going to the clubs but he does not have the confidence to ask where and when they are.
He is quite timid and we have told him that it takes a while in year 7 but it looks like it is starting to bother him now.
UmSusu
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
Assuming that the details are correct for the current year, you could print these .pdf documents out and pin them to his pillow?UmSusu wrote:It's good to see so many smooth beginnings. I want would appreciate some advice:
DS3 is enjoying the school and all his new lessons but does not seem to be making any friends. He spends breaks and lunchtimes on his own. I have told him to try going to the clubs but he does not have the confidence to ask where and when they are.
He is quite timid and we have told him that it takes a while in year 7 but it looks like it is starting to bother him now.
http://www.kefw.org/extra-curricular
(Not stalking you
, you did mention KEFW upthread, I think?).Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
Wow Toadmum, thanks for looking in the obvious place when I didn't think to do so! 
He has a list of clubs in his student planner but without the times - I have been telling him to ask for himself but no luck. Will see if he actually turns up to any now.
Thank you!
Lot's of stories on others making friends - any advice I can give him?
He has a list of clubs in his student planner but without the times - I have been telling him to ask for himself but no luck. Will see if he actually turns up to any now.
Thank you!
Lot's of stories on others making friends - any advice I can give him?
UmSusu
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
DS2 would probably like this one (Tuesdays in C1)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amigurumi
but I would hazard a guess that it is mainly an attraction for the girls?
It is difficult if your DS is rather shy - clubs are a great way to make friends (and at DS2's school, an 'acceptable' way of mixing with students in other years, which is otherwise rather frowned upon), but of course he may find it difficult to overcome the first hurdle of going to one on his own. Looking at the list, though, I'm sure there must be something that he would enjoy once he got there.
In KS3, our DSs both joined their school's Science Soc, a sort of weekly 'open evening science' session, mainly fun, but educational as well. In DS1's day, there were also trips, parents being invited along to make up the numbers and help pay for the coach. I had a couple of great evenings out, in Cambridge and at the institute of Physics
.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amigurumi
but I would hazard a guess that it is mainly an attraction for the girls?
It is difficult if your DS is rather shy - clubs are a great way to make friends (and at DS2's school, an 'acceptable' way of mixing with students in other years, which is otherwise rather frowned upon), but of course he may find it difficult to overcome the first hurdle of going to one on his own. Looking at the list, though, I'm sure there must be something that he would enjoy once he got there.
In KS3, our DSs both joined their school's Science Soc, a sort of weekly 'open evening science' session, mainly fun, but educational as well. In DS1's day, there were also trips, parents being invited along to make up the numbers and help pay for the coach. I had a couple of great evenings out, in Cambridge and at the institute of Physics
.Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx
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crazycrofter
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Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
UmSusu, does he know what everyone else does in breaks/where they go? Does he sit next to the same children consistently in lessons or are they mixed around?
With ds and also dd at this age they're seated alphabetically and seem to start off just hanging round with those who sit next to them/near them. Can he ask his next door neighbour where they're going at break and tag along? Also ds plays table tennis at every opportunity - break if possible and after school. Does your son like a particular sport or activity?
Maybe you could drop the form tutor a note? They might be able to ask a few of the more confident boys to take him under their wing. I hate to think of children on their own.
With ds and also dd at this age they're seated alphabetically and seem to start off just hanging round with those who sit next to them/near them. Can he ask his next door neighbour where they're going at break and tag along? Also ds plays table tennis at every opportunity - break if possible and after school. Does your son like a particular sport or activity?
Maybe you could drop the form tutor a note? They might be able to ask a few of the more confident boys to take him under their wing. I hate to think of children on their own.
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
I know quite a number at my son's school go to the library - might be another avenue to explore?
He is settling in better but doesn't have any close friends yet, but early days.
Does your son get a bus? Maybe there are others on the same route he could talk to?
He is settling in better but doesn't have any close friends yet, but early days.
Does your son get a bus? Maybe there are others on the same route he could talk to?
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
Thank you all for the advice.
Toadmum, the science clubs are up his street, so hopefully he will go to some of these. The school caters well for the science clubs.
Crazycrofter, he is rather apprehensive about asking those who sit near him. He said he tried speaking to them and they told him to shut up and not talk to them - he is now worried that he is the irritating one
. I have told him that as that is not a reply that he would give to anyone then that means it is the others who are rude and have a problem, not him.
He says he looks for others but never finds them.
Ricky, I guess the library is an option (he went to do his homework there yesterday). He has started taking books to read from home to occupy himself - I am just worried that if he starts to disappear under his books at school, he may never emerge to see what is going on around him!
I have been following your rollercoaster ride with your twins: fwiw, I think you made the right decision considering distance too and I hope they both settle well at their respective schools.
I am tempted to drop the form tutor a note but I don't like to dive in to sort out their issues if there is a chance they can negotiate it for themselves, even if it is a little harder. Perhaps that's too tough? Maybe he has enough to contend with and I should help ease it?
Toadmum, the science clubs are up his street, so hopefully he will go to some of these. The school caters well for the science clubs.
Crazycrofter, he is rather apprehensive about asking those who sit near him. He said he tried speaking to them and they told him to shut up and not talk to them - he is now worried that he is the irritating one
. I have told him that as that is not a reply that he would give to anyone then that means it is the others who are rude and have a problem, not him.He says he looks for others but never finds them.
Ricky, I guess the library is an option (he went to do his homework there yesterday). He has started taking books to read from home to occupy himself - I am just worried that if he starts to disappear under his books at school, he may never emerge to see what is going on around him!
I have been following your rollercoaster ride with your twins: fwiw, I think you made the right decision considering distance too and I hope they both settle well at their respective schools.
I am tempted to drop the form tutor a note but I don't like to dive in to sort out their issues if there is a chance they can negotiate it for themselves, even if it is a little harder. Perhaps that's too tough? Maybe he has enough to contend with and I should help ease it?
UmSusu
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
There are some techniques that schools can implement when there are such undesirable situations. I remember moons ago in my DD’s school, a girl had a very tough life at home and a member of staff at school put in place some lunch times for something called ‘circle of friends’ so that the girl in question was surrounded with caring classmates.
So yes, it might be a good idea to contact the form tutor to share your anxieties about your DS’s being rebuffed like that so rudely and having no one to hang out with. I do not know how much you should wait before going to this step, but it is already two or three weeks that school has started for him, hasn't it?
Hoping your DS will soon find a nice and caring classmate with whom he get on well with.
So yes, it might be a good idea to contact the form tutor to share your anxieties about your DS’s being rebuffed like that so rudely and having no one to hang out with. I do not know how much you should wait before going to this step, but it is already two or three weeks that school has started for him, hasn't it?
Hoping your DS will soon find a nice and caring classmate with whom he get on well with.
Re: New year 7s - how's it going?
UmSusu, I'm sorry that your ds is struggling a bit.
My ds is now in year 8 and also had some issues settling in and finding friends in year 7. It was such a different experience from his sister that we were quite taken aback and, in retrospect, I wish we had sought help earlier. He saw groups that he felt he could fit into but struggled to do so - again he felt a bit rebuffed; he felt that some groups were quite cliquey and didn't want to mix outside their own ethnicity at times. It sounded as though lunchtimes were a particular struggle for him, trying to find groups he could get into. He often ended up in the library.
We contacted the pastoral head and the help he received was amazing - suggesting clubs, suggesting older students to help out, offering to engineer friendship groups, meeting with him to support him. They had no idea that he was struggling because he put on a good face whenever he was at school and around the teachers.
I think it was around November that we contacted them.
I think ds knowing a) that the school were aware he was struggling and b) that they cared enough to try and help made a massive difference. He ended up doing some of the things they suggested but he also just started to find his niche.
He is much happier in his friendship groups now - and ironically many of his best friends are in the group that he felt were cliquey at the start. That group has split into different groups and in retrospect he can see that they just stuck together out of some of their own anxiety/nervousness at the start of a new school.
I hope that your ds settles soon but I would recommend contacting the school if it doesn't seem to be happening for him because I am sure that they will be as keen as ours was to try and help.
My ds is now in year 8 and also had some issues settling in and finding friends in year 7. It was such a different experience from his sister that we were quite taken aback and, in retrospect, I wish we had sought help earlier. He saw groups that he felt he could fit into but struggled to do so - again he felt a bit rebuffed; he felt that some groups were quite cliquey and didn't want to mix outside their own ethnicity at times. It sounded as though lunchtimes were a particular struggle for him, trying to find groups he could get into. He often ended up in the library.
We contacted the pastoral head and the help he received was amazing - suggesting clubs, suggesting older students to help out, offering to engineer friendship groups, meeting with him to support him. They had no idea that he was struggling because he put on a good face whenever he was at school and around the teachers.
I think it was around November that we contacted them.
I think ds knowing a) that the school were aware he was struggling and b) that they cared enough to try and help made a massive difference. He ended up doing some of the things they suggested but he also just started to find his niche.
He is much happier in his friendship groups now - and ironically many of his best friends are in the group that he felt were cliquey at the start. That group has split into different groups and in retrospect he can see that they just stuck together out of some of their own anxiety/nervousness at the start of a new school.
I hope that your ds settles soon but I would recommend contacting the school if it doesn't seem to be happening for him because I am sure that they will be as keen as ours was to try and help.
