New year 7s - how's it going?

[Ricky74]

Thank you all for the advice.

Toadmum, the science clubs are up his street, so hopefully he will go to some of these. The school caters well for the science clubs.

Crazycrofter, he is rather apprehensive about asking those who sit near him. He said he tried speaking to them and they told him to shut up and not talk to them - he is now worried that he is the irritating one . I have told him that as that is not a reply that he would give to anyone then that means it is the others who are rude and have a problem, not him.

He says he looks for others but never finds them.

Ricky, I guess the library is an option (he went to do his homework there yesterday). He has started taking books to read from home to occupy himself - I am just worried that if he starts to disappear under his books at school, he may never emerge to see what is going on around him!

I have been following your rollercoaster ride with your twins: fwiw, I think you made the right decision considering distance too and I hope they both settle well at their respective schools.

I am tempted to drop the form tutor a note but I don't like to dive in to sort out their issues if there is a chance they can negotiate it for themselves, even if it is a little harder. Perhaps that's too tough? Maybe he has enough to contend with and I should help ease it?

Thanks for the kind words - funnily enough, I think the twin at comp is still settling better. I thought of you last night as DT2 told me he is still trying to form close friendships and I guess he sees his twin making lots of friends. There are a few social activities coming up at the school so we might try those - I wonder if there are any coming up at your son's school? Let us know how you get on. It's such a big move for them

[crazycrofter]

Umsusu, I know how you feel about leaving them to it for a while and not interfering. I've never been one for contacting the school at primary level, but I did actually email my daughter's form teacher a couple of times in the first term and I found it quite reassuring. They might just be able to shuffle seating arrangements around or something minor which could make all the difference. How mean of the other kids to tell him to shut up. He just needs to find his type - it will happen!

[OldTrout]

Hi UmSuSu:

I am sorry to hear that your DS3 is finding FW (?) a little lonely [FW just based on your stalker (Toadmum) commented], but want to stress that in my experience it is totally natural - especially if your DS3 isn't in a class with anybody he knows.

My small fry (now Y8 at CHG) in Y7 felt very similar at first and was overwhelmed with trying to keep in her head all the rules/ regulations, the Week A/B schedule, the intricacies of homework specifications (which she never totally recorded properly in her planner) and people's names (we have an inability in our family to recall names easily - takes a few meetings first).

I think the thing to remind yourself is that with such a huge catchment - there are kids from everywhere, from all sorts of different schools joining Y7 at Fiveways (or whatever grammar school) - and starting all over, making friends just takes time.

I had a very low small fry around Christmas - she felt everyone was making friends and she wasn't. She felt she really only belonged to a few clubs and wasn't really settling. She spent a lot of that break seeing friends from primary - which I thought would cheer her up (and it did) but then afterwards it made her feel down - (Oh I wish I had friends like that still or Oh I wish x or y made it into Camp Hill).

But.... but....

time passed....

Spring arrived....

collecting my small fry (who helped at an Open evening) from CHG - she was in a gaggle of girls all giggling like mad, giving her huge hugs as she left and one ran after us and gave her a candy. So I was sort of like - Hmmm.. I see you have very few friends indeed, small fry. She sort of sighed - and said - yeah, I guess I have managed to make a nice group of friends now.

Now - how she did it was a mixture of things:

She joined clubs
She plays an instrument - and joined a music group
She is in a central ensemble with Birmingham Music Services - and has realised some Y7s from CHG are there to & made friends with them
She's gone to the library if early to school/ at break. She's met kids in the library/ has chats with the sympathetic librarian
she was in the same classes - shared experience/ shared jokes/ group work

Friendship develops through shared experiences and needs time - it will happen.

I suspect part of what your DS3 is feeling - because my small fry did - is a loss - of comfortable friendships where you know each other well and know what to say/ do - but if you think back about the start of primary school or moving up to junior school - worrying about friendships/ settling in took up a lot of thought in the run up to Christmas.

It's harder when they're older - you can't exactly throw a birthday party with invites (or at least small fry finds that deeply uncool). But at half-term or Christmas - you could invite one or two new friends from Fiveways round or arrange to see a movie. You'll probably find that reassures the other kid's parents - who probably are feeling exactly the same worries about their DS.

I had an interesting talk with a friend whose daughter seemed to be taking to Camp Hill like a duck to water - only to find that from her perspective her daughter was struggling and finding things difficult - especially in terms of making friends. A lot of kids will make quick friendships in those first weeks - which outwardly look confident and a lot of fun - only to realise they don't really like the things the other person does or actually would really like to make friends with the nice but quiet kid who hid in the library and made a head start on their homework each day, because they were shy and had a long commute.

One of small fry's good friends now was that quiet kid the library who hardly ever said anything in class and rarely raised their hand. She's bright, funny and really kind - but through working alongside her in classes, saying hello in the hall/ form, sitting next to her in the library, being in one or two clubs together - over Y7 they've become great friends.

It will sort itself out. Genuinely. But as others have suggested - joining in - awkward, embarrassing and agonising as it may be - is the easiest way to start making friends.

Best wishes to your DS3 - hope things improve for him soon!

OT

[Ricky74]

Hi UmSuSu:

I am sorry to hear that your DS3 is finding FW (?) a little lonely [FW just based on your stalker (Toadmum) commented], but want to stress that in my experience it is totally natural - especially if your DS3 isn't in a class with anybody he knows.

My small fry (now Y8 at CHG) in Y7 felt very similar at first and was overwhelmed with trying to keep in her head all the rules/ regulations, the Week A/B schedule, the intricacies of homework specifications (which she never totally recorded properly in her planner) and people's names (we have an inability in our family to recall names easily - takes a few meetings first).

I think the thing to remind yourself is that with such a huge catchment - there are kids from everywhere, from all sorts of different schools joining Y7 at Fiveways (or whatever grammar school) - and starting all over, making friends just takes time.

I had a very low small fry around Christmas - she felt everyone was making friends and she wasn't. She felt she really only belonged to a few clubs and wasn't really settling. She spent a lot of that break seeing friends from primary - which I thought would cheer her up (and it did) but then afterwards it made her feel down - (Oh I wish I had friends like that still or Oh I wish x or y made it into Camp Hill).

But.... but....

time passed....

Spring arrived....

collecting my small fry (who helped at an Open evening) from CHG - she was in a gaggle of girls all giggling like mad, giving her huge hugs as she left and one ran after us and gave her a candy. So I was sort of like - Hmmm.. I see you have very few friends indeed, small fry. She sort of sighed - and said - yeah, I guess I have managed to make a nice group of friends now.

Now - how she did it was a mixture of things:

She joined clubs
She plays an instrument - and joined a music group
She is in a central ensemble with Birmingham Music Services - and has realised some Y7s from CHG are there to & made friends with them
She's gone to the library if early to school/ at break. She's met kids in the library/ has chats with the sympathetic librarian
she was in the same classes - shared experience/ shared jokes/ group work

Friendship develops through shared experiences and needs time - it will happen.

I suspect part of what your DS3 is feeling - because my small fry did - is a loss - of comfortable friendships where you know each other well and know what to say/ do - but if you think back about the start of primary school or moving up to junior school - worrying about friendships/ settling in took up a lot of thought in the run up to Christmas.

It's harder when they're older - you can't exactly throw a birthday party with invites (or at least small fry finds that deeply uncool). But at half-term or Christmas - you could invite one or two new friends from Fiveways round or arrange to see a movie. You'll probably find that reassures the other kid's parents - who probably are feeling exactly the same worries about their DS.

I had an interesting talk with a friend whose daughter seemed to be taking to Camp Hill like a duck to water - only to find that from her perspective her daughter was struggling and finding things difficult - especially in terms of making friends. A lot of kids will make quick friendships in those first weeks - which outwardly look confident and a lot of fun - only to realise they don't really like the things the other person does or actually would really like to make friends with the nice but quiet kid who hid in the library and made a head start on their homework each day, because they were shy and had a long commute.

One of small fry's good friends now was that quiet kid the library who hardly ever said anything in class and rarely raised their hand. She's bright, funny and really kind - but through working alongside her in classes, saying hello in the hall/ form, sitting next to her in the library, being in one or two clubs together - over Y7 they've become great friends.

It will sort itself out. Genuinely. But as others have suggested - joining in - awkward, embarrassing and agonising as it may be - is the easiest way to start making friends.

Best wishes to your DS3 - hope things improve for him soon!

OT

That's really uplifting OT - your posts are always really insightful and thoughtful.

UmSuSu I hope you find this is the case for you and this week is a little easier? DS has been making a little more headway this week so we are taking baby steps.

[imranb]

As a parent of a new starter in yr. 7 at CHB, I was interested in knowing how did the school perform in this year’s GCSE and A-levels. While most of the schools have announced their results on their website, I can’t seem to be able to locate CHB results on their website. Anyone knows where to look for the results, and if not published, why?

[um]

I'm interested myself - my boys took A levels and GCSEs there last year.

But there has been no newsletter or communication with the results in, and they are not on the website.

Anecdotally, the A level results were very good this year, but I don't know much else.

[JaneEyre]

I guess the senior staff are waiting for the results of the remarks so that the information given is accurate... This is only my guess!

Anecdotally, the A level results were very good this year, but I don't know much else.

The GCSE results were also very good this year.
Tables in his hands, Mr G. gave some information about the results during the last AFS meeting. (There is always a headmaster's report at these meetings, so it is rather interesting to attend).

[JaneEyre]

Tables in his hands, Mr G. gave some information about the results during the last AFS meeting.

I have fetched my notes.
A LEVELS:
More than a quarter of the exams taken at A level were A*.
A* to B: 88.3%

GCSE: 9 out of 10 are an A or an A*

[imranb]

Tables in his hands, Mr G. gave some information about the results during the last AFS meeting.

I have fetched my notes.
A LEVELS:
More than a quarter of the exams taken at A level were A*.
A* to B: 88.3%

GCSE: 9 out of 10 are an A or an A*

Thank you

[JaneEyre]

You're welcome!