11+ Results

[DIY Mum]

I don’t think you ever leave the forum. So still around
Not sure how helpful my advice is atm as 3 of my dc have left KE schools and gone on to university/ apprenticeship. Dd2 has her final 2 years at Chg and dc5 is y11 at HGS.
It’s always good to read the diverse experiences of dp on here. Best of luck for the results!

[MSD]

I don’t think you ever leave the forum. So still around
Not sure how helpful my advice is atm as 3 of my dc have left KE schools and gone on to university/ apprenticeship. Dd2 has her final 2 years at Chg and dc5 is y11 at HGS.
It’s always good to read the diverse experiences of dp on here.

You are a true champion to have managed it 5 times DIY Mum! Hope it became easier with each one? By the way was it truly DIY or you just liked that name?

[PoppyPup]

Ok, time to confess.

I was hoping to open the evelope and seal it back.

Some of me feels that my Dd has sat the exam and those results are hers to open but most of me feels that if it isn’t good news then I want to be there to help her handle any emotions she may feel, rather than what i May be feeling at the time.

Some of you have been here a long time ! That’s great that you were there to support each other and now you’re still around to help those going through the process.

[franklymydear]

Hi All,
I have to confess to feeling slightly annoyed by kenyancowgirl's suggestion that we weren't being the adults in allowing our daughter to have the decision in whether to open what were, essentially, HER results from HER labours. Who are we as parents to take that from a child if it is their express desire to open their own results? I think as long as parents assess their own child and their ability to handle potential disappointment, whilst at the same time acknowledging their own feelings of possible disappointment and realising that the school situation may remain unclear, it's a very individual choice. What advice I would give (for what it's worth) is that no-one knows your child as well as you, so go with what works for your child, and put your own needs to one side.

[MSD]

Hi All,
I have to confess to feeling slightly annoyed by kenyancowgirl's suggestion that we weren't being the adults in allowing our daughter to have the decision in whether to open what were, essentially, HER results from HER labours. Who are we as parents to take that from a child if it is their express desire to open their own results? I think as long as parents assess their own child and their ability to handle potential disappointment, whilst at the same time acknowledging their own feelings of possible disappointment and realising that the school situation may remain unclear, it's a very individual choice. What advice I would give (for what it's worth) is that no-one knows your child as well as you, so go with what works for your child, and put your own needs to one side.

+1

Could not have put that any better, Franklymydear! Love that name

[Ricky74]

Ours arrived on the Friday. I worked from home that day.
I opened my twins' letters because I had two sets of news to break simultaneously. There was 10 points between them, the difference between 'passing' and not (though after a long wait this became two 'passes').
At school children share their results (one even said to one of mine "wow! I beat ***" and it was a tough day for them.

Walsall was worse. Everyone here receive theirs on the Fri/Sat. We did not. We faced a long weekend before they arrived Monday mid afternoon.

Once again I opened them. It was a cracking result for one, but not so for the other.

By opening these it gave me chance to break the news. One child sobbing while his brother cheered. How do you (rightly) celebrate with one while your other child is gutted (yet happy for his twin)?

In the end it's worked out.
If it goes 'to plan' great. If it doesn't, be sure you've bigged up your alternative beforehand and tell them how great they are.

I'm not sure I could go through it again though!

Good luck to all.

[Ravensbourne]

Hi All,

A question regarding the results.

Google searching has returned info that states that some LA’s release the results to the school 2 weeks before the parents are informed (Kent) is this the same for Birmingham?

Just wondering when the school knows how our DCs have done in 11 plus exams.

[Candel]

I agree that it is a decision that will be different for every family. My ds was adamant that he wanted to be first to open the envelope but I knew that I wouldn't be able to wait for him to come home from school if I got my hands on it first. This is mainly because I'm impatient but, like others, I wanted to prepare myself so I would be calm and happy for him whatever the result. We compromised in the end. I said I would open it if it was addressed to me and he could open it if it was addressed to him. If I opened it I was sworn to complete secrecy (apart from telling his dad) until he'd had the chance to see it himself. I think we'll end up with the same agreement this year!

[kenyancowgirl]

Hi All,
I have to confess to feeling slightly annoyed by kenyancowgirl's suggestion that we weren't being the adults in allowing our daughter to have the decision in whether to open what were, essentially, HER results from HER labours. Who are we as parents to take that from a child if it is their express desire to open their own results? I think as long as parents assess their own child and their ability to handle potential disappointment, whilst at the same time acknowledging their own feelings of possible disappointment and realising that the school situation may remain unclear, it's a very individual choice. What advice I would give (for what it's worth) is that no-one knows your child as well as you, so go with what works for your child, and put your own needs to one side.

I’m sorry you were offended. I am assuming your child was successful? You may have missed my suggestion that after opening them, a parent could reseal them so that their child felt they were opening them but the parent would already have had time to assess their position, their disappointment etc? I note you have posted 3 times, and as I say, suspect your child was successful. The majority of children are not. And, sadly, on here we see exceptionally involved parents who are devastated when it doesn’t work out - and there are hundreds more who do not post on here (or aren’t on here) and it is to them I speak. It’s great that your child was mature enough to cope, should they have been unsuccessful... I know mine would have been very sad and every year there are many on here who are - it was to them I offered my advice, based on my experiences. Of course, if a parent believes their child (and they) will be able to take a massive negative without showing their child how disappointed they were (and the child reading it as a disappointment in themselves) then that is fine - otherwise, being an adult merely means taking responsibility to ensure the child is protected as much as possible, if there is any doubt the true feelings can’t be hidden. The point about parenting is that sometimes you have to make unpopular decisions but for the right reasons. But, just because this is my advice, doesn’t mean anyone has to take it - if, as you obviously do, you think it is rubbish, then simply ignore it! Don’t get offended by it!

[Ravensbourne]

Hi All,
A question regarding the results.

Google searching has returned info that states that some LA’s release the results to the school 2 weeks before the parents are informed (Kent) is this the same for Birmingham?

Just wondering when the school knows how our DCs have done in 11 plus exams.