Wildfuture wrote:
I think if your child has specifically asked to wait for them to open the letter, to do anything other than that is wrong. After all, it is them who had to sit the test and endure no doubt endless revision and mocks. Stories of holding the envolope up to the light or the old trick of steaming it open just sound creepy and wrong. It'll be one of two things - a pleasing score or a disappointing one. Just prepare mentally for either. Really not the be all and end all of life. Particularly in Birmingham this year, even a 'good' score will come with a big grey area until offers in March.
Sorry, I'm with hermanmunster on this - you are the parent - promise the child whatever but open the letter in advance - one of the biggest problems about the 11+ is how vested parents get in the whole process - if their child "fails" they feel the disappointment, if they "pass" the success. What you don't want is to open the envelope together (and I concur that finding the salient bit of information is a) tricky as it is usually halfway down the second page and b) does not necessarily give you a clear idea at all of whether you have a good chance or not) - and then be bitterly disappointed and your child will instantly feel they have done you wrong.
Open it, look at it - I have been through the process twice and you have to read the letter 2 or 3 times to understand it - and, if you really feel your child will get the hump, stick it in an envelope again - or just tell them you opened it - you give yourself the chance to reaarange your face into a suitable well done/never mind - they will get over the opening of the envelope but if they feel they have let you down in that instant, they will take a long time to get over the upset.