"tall school and short school land" an allegorical tale

[Tree]

***A SOLUTION HAS BEEN FOUND***

To the oddly stretched out ruler problem. It has been decided by the government of tall school and short school land that the easiest thing is to allow the schools themsleves to decide how long someone is. However surely this just removes the problem of measuring weirdly stretched out kids from the ruler makers and seems to hand it over to the schools?

But apparently not, because the schools will be able to use whatever rulers they like and can then keep them hidden in locked cupboards and change them at will, and if there are any doubts about the real size of kids they can just parade them infront of a few teachers who will look them over and decide if they shape up.

So problem solved!

[Garnett]

Tree - Love your fable.
After the solution, presumably the tall schools became very small with only a few pupils and, therefore, many of them had to be converted to small schools to cope with the increased cohort of short pupils !

[daveg]

Meanwhile back in most of the country where they had all size schools.....

After consecutive governments dominated by short people, shorties among the electorate couldn't help noticing that billions and billions of pounds were being thrown at the all-size school system and yet performance was slipping (or rather plummeting) down the OECD's international league tables. And all the while, the new monsters of "postcode lottery" and "grade inflation" seemed to be growing in stature and terrorising people with names like Fiona Millar.

So then, tall parents whose children turned out to be short decided that they weren't really short, not like the short children of the short parents next door, and they found out about things like "dystallia" and "tallness deficit syndrome" and "shortness spectrum disorder". There were now two sorts of short: the old sort, that short people's children had, which was obviously a sign of being short and not worthy of any attention or resources, and the new tall sort of short, which was just a way of being differently tall. A whole industry of Educational Tallologists grew up, who for £400 would measure your child with a special ruler no-one else understood and then write you a letter telling you that although your child was short, they were tall inside, and everyone should pretend they were really tall. Strangely, no-one had ever found an Educational Tallologist whose special ruler gave any other answer, or who didn't write the letter once they had been given the money, so anyone who had £400 could get one of these letters. It didn't matter if you couldn't reach the shelves in the tall school classroom, because you would be given a special set of steps to avoid your shortness being a problem for you, as after all you weren't really short, and sometimes you'd be given an extra cushion to sit on which everyone pretended not to notice. Even if by the end of your time at the tall school you were still short, everyone had to pretend you were tall, because the Tallologist said you were tall really.

Some nasty people asked why the short children of tall parents deserved having so much more money spent on them than the short children of short parents, and some other nasty people asked why the not quite so tall, but still not short, children of short parents were being treated as though they were short, while the not quite so tall, but still not short, children of tall parents always got treated as though they were tall. But then the tall parents just said that it was obvious, and pointed to how much more successful the education system was in other countries. But, said the nasty people, none of those countries have different schools for short and tall children, so perhaps that's why they're better? Nonsense, said the tall parents, and even if it's true, I don't really care how well everyone is educated, so long as my child does better than the short children.

Some short parents asked why, if short children whose parents were tall could go to the tall school with the help of some steps and a cushion, all the short children couldn't have the same steps and a cushion, without paying the £400. But the tall parents knew that the steps and cushions wouldn't help the short parents, because everyone knew that short parents' children didn't have dystallia and tallness deficit syndrome, they were just short, and there was nothing that could be done, even for £400.

[MollyB]

I have laughed out loud you have summed things up completely. One son doing GCSE's came home the other day with friends and they were all chatting amongst themselves and were so surprised to discover that the number of children requiring extra time in exams had jumped from a handful in year 7 to about a third of the exam hall in year 11! apparantly the boys had been discussing this amongst themselves and it seems common knowledge that if you see a particular person she will discover something about your style of learning that will result in extra time in exams!! (boys own language) Very convenient that this discovery is made just before public exams. The children who I feel sorry for are the ones who genuinely need extra time( the short children of short parents) Where will it all end?

[asdguest]

Okay, I am uncomfortable with the way this is going being the mother of a child with special needs (had to fight against inserting 'genuine' into that phrase which shows how some of us Mums feel). However, did laugh this week when son was offered laptop, extra time, prompter and rest breaks (!) - his answer?......... 'It would be like giving Usain Bolt rocket powered trainers.'

[Tree]

Okay, I am uncomfortable with the way this is going being the mother of a child with special needs

me too was sposed to be all about the rulers not the ruled

'It would be like giving Usain Bolt rocket powered trainers.'

LOL

[yoyo123]

Your boy will go far!!

(ps Average height all my life, no highs or lows)

[MollyB]

Your son sounds brilliant, I sincerely hope he benefits from the lap top etc.That is why I get so upset with people playing the system I have friends who have been fighting for their children for years for them to be recognized as needing support and I appreciate how difficult the struggle can be.I truly did not mean any offence.

[asdguest]

MollyB

Thankyou for that - I knew when I read it that you did not mean any true offence. Obviously, it is a bit of a sensitive spot for me and I just wanted to draw a line.

[MollyB]

Thank you , onwards and upwards I say,one never knows what is around the corner and what hurdles our children will come across,we just have to support them the best we can. Good luck