Grammar Schools near Marlow

[scary mum]

Schools come down on any kind of racist, sexist or homophobic bullying like a ton of bricks. It strikes me as rather bizarre to be pre-empting this with a move based on speculation that your child will suffer racist bullying. It is quite unusual now in my experience.

+1 and I find youngsters these days to be pretty much colour blind, thank goodness.

[BlueBerry]

It's not the youngsters, it's the parents.

[Reading Mum]

by the time you get to senior school most parents have stepped away from the school environment

[BlueBerry]

I really hope so

[Rob Clark]

I can reassure you on that score as the GSs around here actively discourage parental involvement

DS spent 7 years at one about a mile from where we live and I wouldn't know most of his friends' parents if I bumped into them in the street. The odd one I might know from standing on a touchline or at the side of a court, but not through school.

[Guest55]

Not all the GS are like that particular one Rob!

[southbucks3]

Both John hampden and rgs have mixed ethnicity, rgs to a much higher degree, but like others my sons went to a small village school with less than five children in attendance who had heritage from different ethnic groups than white European, the villages tend to have less of a mix, High Wycombe has a 25- 30% ethnic mix. The children who transfer to big, mixed heritage, secondary schools in Wycombe do have to adapt to having friends and associates from different cultures too, all mine have done this well and they all have close friends from many cultures, including mixed culture families of course, which hopefully is a big indication of how the area moshes together and will hopefully continue to do so throughout all cultures and ethnic backgrounds.
I don't think you can write the script and decide a school will have a racist undertone if the pupils are predominantly white Europeans, that in itself is a tad discriminative tbh, regardless of your own adult experiences, kids are v different.
Marlow is definitely predominantly white middle class European, the third most expensive area in England to live and SWBGS has a tiny proportion of children who are from heritage other than its direct catchment majority, those are the facts, no matter what you may think or have heard. Whether ALL the children in Marlow are totally accepting of all cultures is more subjective, but if they are (which I strongly suspect is the case) it certainly won't be because of familiarity with those cultures in their day to day environment, but due to a child's nherent and uninhibited desire to socialise.
Personally I wouldn't move unless I strongly disliked the area I was living in, sounds like you have a great school, lovely surroundings and good local jobs, if your son has encountered no racism so far, why assume he will at secondary.
The other huge but almost unspoken assumption is him passing the 11+. Subjecting your children to a grammar school system, when you currently have a great school within a stone's throw, where your children will just transfer, with no testing, no division of friends and siblings etc, will seem mad to many Bucks residents who dread the process.
Honestly, if you feel that racism is an issue in your area and wish to move because of it then declare that the reason, as everything else sounds perfect, if it's not a big issue and you are generally very happy, then stay put and save yourself money and stress.

[BlueBerry]

Southbucks, thanks for your post. I'm having many doubts about moving for the reasons that you've stated. My husband & I have experienced racism here but we can brush it off.

It's a tad more difficult for my son. For my son to be told by his best friend that he can no longer attend the said friend's birthday party because he doesn't eat pork is heart-breaking. This was what his friend's mum told her son who passed it on to my son. He was so upset & even told him that he just wants to come to the party & not eat. There have been a few incidences like that. This has knocked his confidence down

To be honest I would move away from my area in heartbeat, the only stumbling blocks are my house & job. I really like my job & cannot contemplate commuting 50 miles each way. I did it pre-kids but I think it's a nightmare with 2 children... and hence lies my dilemma!

[southbucks3]

It's a tad more difficult for my son. For my son to be told by his best friend that he can no longer attend the said friend's birthday party because he doesn't eat pork is heart-breaking. This was what his friend's mum told her son who passed it on to my son. He was so upset & even told him that he just wants to come to the party & not eat. There have been a few incidences like that. This has knocked his confidence down


Sadly that's not racism it's a mum being neurotic and ignorant, we have encountered this before as vegetarian, she needed assurance from an adult that she wouldn't be in trouble if your son ate a bread roll that had been sitting on the table with the bacon she would get told off by his parents. She was heavy handed and her son was clumsy in conveying the reasons too, but as he is your son's best friend not likely to be deliberately racist is he! Not eating pork has nothing to do with race btw, but lifestyle choice, my boys are discriminated against on a weekly basis as they don't eat meat, funny that their shoulders are getting less broad as they get older as teen anxt sets in. You will find things like the rugby match food is rather limited, the veggie sausages are never available, and shared sweets of course put them on the spot. Tbh it's easier not to mention the dietary preference unless directly asked, go to the parties and just don't eat the meat, or pork or whatever your ideology dictates you avoid. Play dates are different of course as they often involve an intimate meal, but even those can be arranged away from dinner times if it's likely to be awkward. (Hunting, shooting and fishing are big where we live, so a few parents can be judgemental of non meat eaters.)

Good luck with your choice.

[BlueBerry]

Hi there

We are not vegetarians. We are meat eaters but do not eat pork for religious reasons.

And from what I gather from my son & his school the boys seem to be very good friends but his mum has other ideas. Like I said previously, that was just one incidence. There are many more but I don't wish to discuss further details for fear of outing myself! Suffice it to say that my son feels unwelcome & unwanted.


I'm sorry that your boys are discriminated against. It's very difficult as a parent to watch your child being hurt or suffering and being unable to help them out.