Thank you so much everybody for the kind support and advice I've had so far. I thought I would start a new thread so I'm not cluttering up the Crystal Ball one if that's okay? It's not yet an appeal so I hope it's okay here, if not please feel free to move it to a more appropriate place. It's a fairly long post but I didn't want to leave anything out.
To summarise - DD missed out by 0.04 miles getting into Chesham. Her two friends, including her best friend, did get in. Ten days ago, DD finally got a diagnosis of autism which I had long suspected. We haven't yet received the report, but I was verbally told by the assessors that it is very important for her to stay with close friends due to her obvious social deficits so she can make the best possible start. She comes from a lovely primary school with lovely children which is very close-knit, and wonderful teachers who have always dealt with fallings out immediately - they never even suspected she had autism as a result, as they dealt so well with pastoral matters. Any secondary will be a very different matter.
Whilst most of her classmates are going to her allocated school (which I've been talking up the positives for, of course) they're all on/off friendships with some fallings out, and from my reading of the situation, often due to her social deficits. The only friend who she can rely on, has been close to all primary, and she's never fallen out with is one of the girls going to Chesham. Her assessors said it was important that she stay with somebody she can trust and was glad to hear she had applied to the same school as her close friend. Obviously friendships change at secondary, but to get a stable start would be priceless.
The assessors also said that a grammar school would be much more suited to her due to ASD - Chesham is the only one we are in reasonable transport reach of. This was pretty much our main reason for applying in the first place, even before diagnosis we knew our daughter and what would be most suited for her. She's very academic, exceptional at English and Maths, and had a high passmark.
Daughter was extremely disappointed, and wants me to do all I can so she can go to Chesham - she's had her heart set on it since she heard about it in Y3 when we first started looking at our options. She knows herself and knows what kind of environment she would prefer. She was fully expecting to go there (despite my worries when the distance shrunk last year which I tried to prepare her for) which is upsetting for any child, but for a child with autism with very fixed ideas and a need to feel in control, it's a huge shock to her system and I worry for her already not great mental health.
For the record, we're out of county, just across the border in Hertfordshire, although her primary has a very long tradition of sending a few children to Chesham each year, and there are some links between the schools.
I was just reading through in detail all the stuff on Bucks CC site when I came across this:
https://www.buckscc.gov.uk/services/edu ... sion-rule/It seems they can take a fresh submission under the social and medical needs rule if I do so by March 15th if new evidence has come to light. I would say a recent diagnosis of autism would count as that. Obviously we don't have an EHCP or anything as this is all fresh.
If I can (somehow) get something together by then, this could remove the need for an appeal maybe? It would mean getting a report very very quickly from somebody, which could be "interesting" if it's NHS, given it took almost two years from referral to get her diagnosed. We're happy to pay for a private one, but it would obviously be better if it were from the lovely people who assessed her.
Any thoughts, or pointers very welcome. This is all very new to me! And I don't have much time..
Thanks!!