Email from bucks saying no maidenhead kids admitted?

[BucksBornNBred]

My working hours are not your concern KCG. I am in a position to do it (it worked at first but more difficult now - as you say things change). I have emphasised that bus is best but sometimes life doesn't work out the way we want.

I agree that there are consequences for being late "under your own steam" but we have built in extra time so we turn up at the same time as those on buses, if not earlier. We could probably leave a lot later and still be there in time, but it isn't worth the risk.

I am just trying to show support by pointing out that it can work without a bus - it isn't the end of the world. Not ideal but when iife throws you a curve ball, you just have to play it

[kenyancowgirl]

Trust me I am not remotely concerned with your working hours, at all. Two of you on here mentioned 40 mile trips - I assumed this is around the distance the OP is considering driving each day - I was merely pointing out to the OP that they would have to consider, realistically, if they have a job, whether that is practical. I certainly wouldn’t want to do it, nor would I have committed to it because it wouldn’t be practical with my weird consultancy hours for example - I also feel quite strongly that secondary school children should be independent travellers wherever possible - especially if they do not have needs that prevent this. It helps longer term in my opinion.

Sorry I obviously hit a nerve with you. But my comments were aimed at helping the OP.

[Guest55]

I think the point is that driving a Secondary school child to school should not be undertaken lightly and should very much be the last thing considered.
Traffic around the area under consideration is pretty bad and there will be evening events which also need to be catered for. If the student is in a sports team or orchestra then it becomes more complicated. As the student moves into GCSEs there are after school revision sessions and of course exams at odd times of the day.
I'd not recommend this to anyone and the student doesn't learn to travel on their own and deal with everyday situations e.g. late bus. Not a great preparation for university and all that entails.

[This is not a comment aimed at anyone other than the OP]

[BucksBornNBred]

Sorry I obviously hit a nerve with you. But my comments were aimed at helping the OP.

No nerve hit ... but my comments were offered in good faith too to help the OP make a decision by stating it is possible to drive but it is hard work (I thought that came across in my post). Mine was the right choice at the time; circumstances changed but I am looking at my half full glass and seeing the positives. I would never suggest driving is the best option but life isn't always perfect and you have to play the hand you are dealt.

[TheHurdle]

"As a mum of DD at this school - I would say if you are both willing to take on board the extra travelling time - and you both feel this is the best school for your DD - then go for it. There are some buses coming form that direction - run by Finlan travel. You may be able to drop DD at a pick-up point on their route. You will still have to do the pick-up if she stays late for any clubs etc. We are lucky enough to live close-ish but there are plenty of girls travelling those sorts of distances each day"


Thank you and Bucks Born and Bred.


And all the posters who raise very good points about travelling. Its not something to be undertaken lightly at all.
It is good to drum home this message.

However in my case - we have already done daily round trips of a far greater distance due to car sharing and getting my husband to work. And I agree with a poster that actually, it provided really special one on one time. This distance to the school is actually far shorter that what we are already used too.

Its good to mention work commitments again as someone who worked three jobs in one day, with some distance in between and no car again I know how critical is to think of all these issues and timings.

I am more than happy to drive her if necessary for the first year, I do not think in any way shape or form it would harm her prospects for travelling independently at university or work if we did this. She can travel independently when she is older and at any stage in her life with our support. Its not the sole and only chance to do this.

From light research I do believe there are buses that leave at points local to us.

Just because we are asking about the 11+ and trying to find our way with it does not mean parents have no previous life experience or experience of distance/work timing and so on. Also I have direct experience of school journeys, having myself traversed trains and long walks and buses to get to a brilliant school.

[Guest55]

I was giving a school perspective - as long as you are willing to let her stay to clubs and events then it is not a problem. However I've seen too many children 'have' to leave on the dot and have had to deal with parents who do not want their child in a sports team [or other extra curricular experience] because it's 'inconvenient'. Long commutes also mean parents are less likely to attend evening events and so miss a lot of the things that make school so much more than the lessons.

This is very different to commuting for work.

[TheHurdle]

Oh a school perspective this is where this negativity comes from.

Wow so at BH so many pupils must be travelling from truly huge distances then? Do you work at the school? I'm sorry if this is causing you such big problems.

Well I can assure you that this pupil IF she gets in, certainly won't be missing out on anything at all, as I said as a family we are very used to much larger commuting distances, time juggling and so on.

[anotherdad]

Oh a school perspective this is where this negativity comes from.

Wow so at BH so many pupils must be travelling from truly huge distances then? Do you work at the school? I'm sorry if this is causing you such big problems.

What an interestingly worded post. Do you mean it genuinely or sarcastically because it really could be taken as either?

I don't sense negativity in the advice, it's more a dose of realism based upon years of parents enquiring about what will be difficult journeys to school, many embarking on it and some not coping with it in the long run. It would be bad advice to be solely encouraging and supportive of such plans.

You can see the distance allocations for the school yourself. It's not the distance that's the issue, it's the time. In parts of Bucks you can cover 5 miles in 10 minutes, even in rush hour. In other parts the same distance can take almost an hour.

Unrealistic school commutes DO cause big problems for some schools. More specifically, they cause problems for the pupils because its them who miss out. One grammar school where I live almost closed its PTA because it couldn't get sufficient parental support, largely I suspect because so many parents live some distance away and cannot practically provide the time. When we have a harsh winter or just a few periods of icy or snowy weather, attendance is decimated because so many cannot (or won't) travel. Children DO miss out on clubs and activities because their travel plans won't work with them. You may have your plans all sorted out but if your daughter's football team or brass band can't meet regularly because a critical mass of the group can't fit it in, that doesn't help you, even if you are prepared to do a lot of driving.

[TheHurdle]

*You can see the distance allocations for the school yourself. It's not the distance that's the issue, it's the time. In parts of Bucks you can cover 5 miles in 10 minutes, even in rush hour. In other parts the same distance can take almost an hour*


I appreciate all advice and all angles covered when going through this process. I have glanced at some other earlier posts and have noticed I have been given the exact same "dose of healthy realism" by the same poster - repeatedly before.

Nearly every single post on this thread is laden with miserable negativity by the same people.

I find some posts smug and patronizing and highly condescending and mostly not helpful.
A quick - have you considered distance - it can affect = a/b/c is all that is needed, not repeated laborious, laboring of the point to adults who know all about rush hours, timing and routes. Especially having lived in this area for 42 years.
Its a waste of time.

[kenyancowgirl]

I'm sorry TheHurdle, but I think your post is quite unpleasant Time and time again we get people considering very tricky journies that you wouldn't wish on anyone, let alone a Year 7 child, and I for one have tried to respond covering all the things I would think need considering, as have all the other posters on this thread - I do not think they are laden with miserable negativity, but realism! You cannot expect that everyone will just pat you on the head and applaud your thinking, however, so if that is what you expected, than perhaps an open forum on the internet is not the place to seek advice.

Realistically, if you have so much knowledge of the area, why did you ask the question?