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 Post subject: time to call it a day
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:20 pm 
On friday full of excited anticipation we went up to DHSG to pick up the results of the mock test sat the week before

To our horror our daughter did very poorly her score being one of the lowest.We spent the weekend crying and trying to convince ourselves that it was only the mock andf she had plenty of time to improve,but then realised as fast as she was improving so would the other children be.We did the mock to help us make up our mind as to if the 11+ was acchievable,to ignor the marks would have made it a pointless exercise.
We were left with the choice of dragging her through the process and making the whole family miserable and stressed for the next 6 months with no gaurentee that she would improve enough to gain a place or send her to a good school that we were happy with and she seemed to really like.

After much soulsearching we faced the fact that as much as we wanted her to do the 11+ she probably will be much more suited to the other school.
Today we submitted the admission form to the school and I feel so relieved,I know in my heart that we have made the right decision and feel so much better for it.I am sure some people we see it as a failure but I know its not it was a decision made with my daughters best interests at heart and will leave her feeling good about herself rather than risking failing the test which really would have affected her.
My advice to all of you still undecided,look deep inside your heart the right decision is there

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:34 pm 

Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2661
Dear relieved Mum

My personal opinion...

If you think your daughter should be in a grammar, and she achieving well at school, then you should try for a place. If there is still 6 months to go you have plenty of time.

You say the other children will improve, but they may have peaked, they may have been tutored for many months before.

Whatever you decide, may I wish you Luck


 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:42 pm 
No ,the tests are in january the results are in march hence the 6 months of stress.

Do I think she should be in a grammer?Dont all parents?
Do I think she will be happier in the alternative? Probably

Do I want all the temper tantrums and hard work and stress? No

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:51 pm 
Relieved Mum

You have made your decision on the basis of all the information available to you and you seem fairly confident that it is the right one. Good for you.

There is no point wondering "what if.." if you daughter goes through any difficult patches in the future. (And don't most children?) I wish her every success in the future. You don't have to be at a grammar to do well academically and exams aren't the most important thing in life anyway. But you know that I'm sure.

For what it's worth, children can do really badly in the practice papers and very well in the real thing. I live in Kent where there is only one week between the practice and the 11+. Some schools don't mark the mocks in case it distresses the children. I know at least one child at my daughter's primary school who was distraught after very low scores in the practice papers but who got maximum scores (140 on every paper) in the real test the following week! So don't let your daughter think that she couldn't have passed, merely that she chose a better school for her.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:51 pm 
Sorry to hear of your experience with the Practice Paper but you do seem to have made the decision yourself by judging your daughter and your situation.
My daughter also sat the practice paper but I had no idea you could collect the results from DHSG - I thought it said they would be posted and becuase of the postal strike I was trying to forget about it.
She said the tests were v hard so we may be in the same position after I have phoned the school tomorrow.
Wonder if they are still available or if they have been posted out now.
Good luck with everything and you can still change your mind - forms can be revised until 24th , I think.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 7:38 pm 
Good for you!!

With the right attitude she will do well wherever she goes.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:50 pm 
Your post takes me back to last year when we were in the same position. My daughter didn't do so well in the mock but we persevered as the alternative choice of school wasn't right for her. We were lucky in the fact she passed and got her first choice but had there been a better alternative I would have chosen that. It's SUCH a g amble and SO stressful, I also naively didn't fully appreciate at the time how it would have knocked her confidence had she not passed so good for you in having the guts to decide now what is best for your daughter rather then another 3 months stress and aggravation! :D

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:38 am 
Good for you!!!!!

You obviously have your daughters best interest at heart and addmiting that maybe that the grammer system is not for her takes a lot of courage.By sending her to a school she is better suited to she has more chance of thriving and reaching her full potential,whether in exam results or otherwise.

She is lucky to have you as her mum,you accept her for who she is rather than what she could possibly achieve,I wish all parents could be as supportive of their children as you are.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:09 am 

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:58 am
Posts: 132
Relieved Mum,
Glad you're relieved! Does your child have any siblings, and will your decision for this child have an impact on whether they sit the 11+?

Anyway, well done for making the decision you feel is best for your child and not feeling pressured to continue down a road you don't feel is right for her.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:53 pm 

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:25 am
Posts: 229
It is such a relief when you've made the decision either way. I'd hate to go through all of this again! :)

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