Pre-exam nerves help!

Eleven Plus (11+) in Essex

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colchestermummy
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:28 pm

Pre-exam nerves help!

Post by colchestermummy »

Hi everyone, as some of you know we started studying for the 11+ quite late in the day compared to many and i have fully home tutored him ( I toyed with tutor but decided against it) and we still have papers to go through as i bought the tutors VR ones from here. the thing is that he is getting very nervous now and refusing to do anything and his papers have gone gradually down in marks as time is going on and i thought it should be the other way round :? Do you think i should just let him have this week off as perhaps it is too late in the day to be learning anything new now. I can feel myself getting stressed and worried so i'm sure he must be feeling the same? I don't really know what to do, any advice from parents who've been in this situation would be greatly welcomed :)
chelmsford dad
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:04 pm

very difficult and especially at this late stage

Post by chelmsford dad »

but from my short experience i would say back off and judge another time to try and get him to do a paper , a few weeks ago my boy flared up and he had been ok so i just eased off for a day or two and hes been fine since, at the end of the day its a lot of pressure for kids this age
First-timer
Posts: 698
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:47 pm
Location: Essex

Post by First-timer »

Hi Colchestermummy,

I am in a similar situation, having started preparing my DS quite late. No tutor, just me and DS at the dining table.

I think tutoring is a great idea if you have enough time but with fewer than four months to the exam, I decided that an hour a week wasn't going to be enough. If you home tutor, you can squeeze in sessions around your usual commitments. Time-wise you may find that your DC has had as much practice as formally tutored DC. Formal tutoring has other advantages, of course, but what I am saying is that I wouldn't worry just because you didn't go down that route.

As for the practice fatigue - ask your DC how to progress. If DC just can't face another practice paper then don't push it. Try doing things orally together, discuss strategies etc. Even mental arithmetic or definitions/synonyms games in the car on the way to/from school are useful ways of keeping the momentum going without boring DC to tears.

It's not long now. Hang on in there and good luck!
Last edited by First-timer on Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
colchestermummy
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:28 pm

Post by colchestermummy »

thanks for the replies chelmsford dad and first timer :) I'm just glad that ds is not the only one going through this. I am feeling so stressed and feel like i may have made the wrong decision by not getting a formal tutor and will feel to blame if he doesn't get in. I also, like you first timer decided against the tutor because i felt this late in the day there was no point (we started beginning of september preparing)...I guess i just have to tell myself and him now what will be will be...I just wish our local comp was decent i really honestly would not be so stressed! But i will give him time off (today) and try again tomorrow, perhaps just going over techniques from now till saturday. His english result for the past paper (2009) today was 58% and the maths only 45% and the VR only around 50% which has really dropped. Never mind i guess it's not the end of the world...I just hate the thought of DC feeling like a failure .
colchestermummy
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:28 pm

Post by colchestermummy »

sorry meant papers from last yr not this yr...if only! :wink:
chelmsford dad
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:04 pm

in my opinion there are no failures taking this exam

Post by chelmsford dad »

the experience will be good for them in the long run and we should just be proud of them all for taking the exam as at their age that is an achievemnet by itself
essex-mum18
Posts: 218
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:09 am

Post by essex-mum18 »

To all Essex mums and dads,

This week is the final week before the 11+ and it is rather normal to feel nervous or even panic sometimes. But please don't ( I know it is easier said than done)!! You should be proud of yourselves and your children to spend time to prepare and go for the exam.

When my son did the exam 2 years ago, it was ME who were so nervous that I could not sleep too well the week before. Thinking, will the alarm clock work on that morning? How will be the traffic like on the Saturday? etc, etc...

On the other hand, my son was more relaxed (thank god for that) and reassured me that he knew it would be the real thing which he would give his best shot on that day!! We had a little talk beforehand and just really appreciated the effort he put in for the exam

I think at this stage, the most important thing is to maintain their confidence and make the atmosphere as relaxing as possible.
Next week this time, the exam will be over!! :D :D

GOOD LUCK AND WISH YOU ALL THE BEST NEXT SATURDAY!!
essex-mum18
Posts: 218
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:09 am

Post by essex-mum18 »

colchestermummy wrote:thanks for the replies chelmsford dad and first timer :) I'm just glad that ds is not the only one going through this. I am feeling so stressed and feel like i may have made the wrong decision by not getting a formal tutor and will feel to blame if he doesn't get in. I also, like you first timer decided against the tutor because i felt this late in the day there was no point (we started beginning of september preparing)...I guess i just have to tell myself and him now what will be will be...I just wish our local comp was decent i really honestly would not be so stressed! But i will give him time off (today) and try again tomorrow, perhaps just going over techniques from now till saturday. His english result for the past paper (2009) today was 58% and the maths only 45% and the VR only around 50% which has really dropped. Never mind i guess it's not the end of the world...I just hate the thought of DC feeling like a failure .
Hi, colchestermummy

I think you are very wise to give your DS a day off and try again when he is more relaxed. Tell him that do not put off by the low marks because if the papers are hard on the day. The marks will be lower for the other children too. May be do another paper which is easier to keep his confidence back.

GOOD LUCK on Saturday!!
moved
Posts: 3826
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:42 pm
Location: Chelmsford and pleased

Post by moved »

I try to encourage rest and relaxation in the final week. Games for verbal and number skills and lots of sleep, good food, fresh air, etc.
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