11 Plus Exams Forum

My son has a place at SHSB but I reckon he'll get an offer for WHSB before he starts school as he's 1st on the waiting list. I just want to be prepared on weather to accept or decline the offer from WHSB when it does happen. We are OC (Dagenham) and my son wasn't too happy when he attended an induction day at SHSB. I know they are both great schools but I want him to be happy and attend the better of the 2. For now, I'm just looking at GCSE's and will cross the A level battle when we get there. Someone mentioned WHSB had deteriorated in academics since the last headmaster left.

He enjoys Maths / Science / Foolball / Athletics / drumming

Any input will be greatly appreciated

dpstar wrote:My son has a place at SHSB but I reckon he'll get an offer for WHSB before he starts school as he's 1st on the waiting list. I just want to be prepared on weather to accept or decline the offer from WHSB when it does happen. We are OC (Dagenham) and my son wasn't too happy when he attended an induction day at SHSB. I know they are both great schools but I want him to be happy and attend the better of the 2. For now, I'm just looking at GCSE's and will cross the A level battle when we get there. Someone mentioned WHSB had deteriorated in academics since the last headmaster left.

He enjoys Maths / Science / Foolball / Athletics / drumming

Any input will be greatly appreciated

My son has just completed year 7 at SHSB and has loved it on the whole. He is also o/c but only travelling in from Chelmsford. At this late stage I personally wouldn't be accepting a different school when already offered a grammar school (we gained a place at SHSB at the end of June 2014 which we accepted as it was that or the local comp). I've always been told that boys tend to prefer SHSB over WHSB and with the girls it's the other way round but not sure how true that is.

What exactly did your DS not enjoy about the induction day at Southend? I have to declare an interest here as I also have a son who has just finished year 7 and loves the school (eventually he will even forgive it for awarding him Best in Year in Citizenship of all things ) . Is it something about which we can put you / his mind at rest?

As for wanting your DS to go to 'the best' school, a) there's really not much to choose between the two, academically and b) results are down to the cohort as well as to the school's input anyway. 'School', even an academically selective one, is not just a black box into which you insert a bunch of kids and sit back to wait for a completely pre-defined result to pop out at the other end

However, you obviously did put WHSB above SHSB initially for a reason (just not 'because it's better', I hope?). Have a think back to your decision-making. Was the difference genuinely something so insurmountable that sporty, musical, academically rigorous SHSB really cannot provide for it?

Thanks for your prompt responses - Toadmum and pinkrabbit38

He couldn't actually lay his hands on what exactly he didn't like apart from the green blazer I think it's really because he doesn't know anyone at the school considering the fact that he's the only one from his primary school that was offered a place. To be quite honest, WHSB is not much different as there is only 1 boy from his school that got a place.

I do keep reassuring him that he'll make new friends and it'll just be a matter of days before he settles in. I totally understand but just wanting to make the right decision if I do get to choose. The only reason I put WHSB ahead of SHSB was because it was slightly nearer than SHSB.

I think both of you have swayed me to keep my offer for SHSB, thanks a million

SHSB can seem a bit unfriendly to OC, I find. I think you have to worm your way in to some very long established friendships (and that's just the mums )! A small group of us with OC sons starting in September are meeting up in Billericay soon, pm me if you want the details! We are all friendly and don't know each other very well, we just trying to make some friends before they start. If it's any comfort, we were told at one induction that there are 45 boys who are coming as the only person from their school. I don't know if that would be more or less at WHSB, but there will be quite a few of them. My son is one! (But he does have his big brother there for now).

Edited to add, my eldest son settled in pretty quickly so I'm sure they'll all be fine!

Thanks a lot FlightyRachel

How spooky and guess what, I received the dreaded phone call today (@ 14:50) from Southend Council informing me my DS had been offered a place at WHSB. I'm sleeping over it and will let my DS have his input when I get back from work today. The good news for others, is that another space will become available at either school for the next person on the waiting list.

I'll PM you once DS & I have made up our minds as I think that's a fantastic idea meeting before the boys commence school. Thanks for the reassuring points.

Actually, there are only certain local primaries which are like to provide boys in larger groups with 'cliquey moms (or dads)' - quite a lot of local boys will also be on their own or part of a small group. Both of our sons were one of two from their primary and although DS2 was and is good friends with the other lad in his year, DS1 (2008 entry) and the boy he moved up with had never exactly been bosom buddies and really had nothing to do with each other at SHSB.

Starting secondary school is a time for the reorganisation of friendship groups, anyway, so your DS shouldn't worry mm that score. Can't do anything about the colour of the blazer, though . Just be grateful that all the uniform is to be had from proper shops - both Paul's in the town centre and Danielle's in Rochford have friendly and helpful staff - rather than having to buy everything from the school as at Westcliff .

ETA having seen your new post - good luck with your decision-making!

dpstar wrote:Thanks a lot FlightyRachel

Good luck with your decision and well done on his doing so well as to have 2 offers! You're really very welcome to join us, just let me know if you decide to stay green!

Thanks again FlightyRachel & Toadmum for your insightful information. When my second son went to our local secondary school, him and his best friend from primary were merely casual friends during the first year. You can imagine what the last year was like, they were no longer talking having their friendship fall apart. Like my mum would say, 20 friends cannot play for 20 years.

ToadMum wrote:Actually, there are only certain local primaries which are like to provide boys in larger groups with 'cliquey moms (or dads)' - quite a lot of local boys will also be on their own or part of a small group.

Yes, I'm from Southend originally so I'm very familiar with those primaries. They send a large cohort each and out of 150 boys they make up a hefty %. It's no one's fault and it's great for them, but it does have an effect on friendships. In my experience, it can be hard to persuade even solitary local boys to venture out into the wilds of Burnham, especially if their mum doesn't know you! I wish I'd made more effort to get to know some other mums when my eldest was year 7, that's why I mention it. This time I'm trying to be a bit more organised. I apologise if I sounded snarky, I didn't mean to.