Hello, my daughter also did not get into our local grammar,and her scores were 69/90 for VR and 44/75 for NVR. Out of 862 girls, her position was 304. She worked really hard and showed real dedication, and for that reason, I was dissappointed. After spending a few days, in limbo, over the options ( I did consider private!), I am now hoping she will get accepted at her 2nd choice- state school which is really very good (2005 GCSE results 79% A-C pass rate!).
My advice to you would be to only consider private if your local schools are really dire. You are making a committment of at least the next 5 years, financially and this is quite a huge responsibility to take. Also be aware of ' hidden extras' that you would have to pay for in the shape of school trips, music/sports tuition etc. Good luck to you and your son in whatever decision you make.