11 Plus Exams Forum

Ds 1(just 10)brought home a booklet from the lea called you matter. It had 2 pages per issue dealing with different issues that can affect children,half for them and half for us. I am still in shock and disbelief that anyone could think that this is suitable reading for dcs of that age.
I understand that we have to have a lot of these conversations with our dcs however I would rather do it when my dcs are ready and in a far more informed and intelligent way than this booklet. Am I the only person to be outraged by the lea taking away my ability to parent my dcs by telling them that peer groups are more important than parents/authority figures? And as for the rest of the booklet.........
Or am I just making a mountain out of a mole hill???

Haven't seen this one, thankfully.

I do have concerns in general about the way some children can manipulate parents because of all of this child advocacy stuff they get fed. I also wonder how much difference it actually makes for the children that actually are in a vulnerable position.

I was hoping we had seen the end of the nanny state and the additional wasted financial costs that go with this sort of thing .

Absolutely! the blase threats of calling childline if sent to tidy their room makes a mockery of it all. Been spared this leaflet but endured others. Patronising twaddle on the whole and a silly blanket approach.

If this is the one I'm thinking of - then I too was appalled it seemed about 3 years too old for our ( very mature ) daughter -who was very upset by it , as was I .
I complained to the head who admitted they hadn't read it . I was going to take it further but neglected to .......
These are our children - they don't belong to the state . We should stand up to the idiots who thought this was appropriate .

I have a 10 year old in Year 6 who brought it home. He didn't glance at it.
I was annoyed by it too, mainly because of the cost of producing and distributing it.
But as someone who has recently returned tolive in the UK I found it all useful to know what help is available to to children and young people in Glos.

Also remember that there ARE children who have no responsible adult to talk to or turn to for help at home !

My daughter didn't read it, I threw it in the trash before she could! What a waste of money!

What was it about? It wasn't suggesting that it might be a good idea that children have some understanding of th issues around drugs, alcohol and sex before they go to secondary school was it? Did it mention <whispers> contraception? Or <whispers even more quietly> homosexuality?

Don't worry - if you keep your children in ther bubble wrap and with their ear plugs and blindfolds well in place they'll be fine!

"generally, most of us get along with our parents, but sometimes find them as confused as we are about our growing up."
"I felt like I was worth nothing, so I started cutting my arms waith a razor. It was the only way I could make myself feel better and forget my problems."
"I dont really care what my parents think of me, but I want my friends to rate me. Thats why Ive started smoking-everyone else is doing it and I want to fit in."(I dont know any 10year olds that smoke, and as the legal age is 18 nor should anyone else!)
These are in the child section of the pamphlet. In the adults section...
"If you are feeling anxious about your child starting secondary school, try not to let them see this."(Why share your emotions with a child to let them see that different emotional states are ok, after all we cant always be happy.)
"Even though you may not be the first person your child turns to when in trouble,your support is still important"(Why would you be when its normal to think more about your peer groups opinions than your parents, and your parents will only be confused anyway ) At least according the booklet.
Yes it does go on to outline drugs,alcohol etc in the same patronising tone. Using language that is not imo appropriate for dcs of 10. It talks about families being different using lots of examples, the obvious one missing is married/cohabiting hetrosexual parents although it does say that if all families were the same as yours they would be boring
I could go on,these are the least offensive examples that I could find.

if it graces my door it will be unceremoniously dumped into file 13.

It's not about keeping my daughter in a bubble. My daughter is already aware of most of stuff in the leaflet, we just don't need the government interfering. Parents can explain in much more appropriate way! Is it our responsibili ty to talk to our kids, not just leave it to someone else!