Stroud or Ribston?

[stroudydad]

So which is your favourite Amber?

[Amber]

Well I don't like the uniform for either - see above. And of course that is by far the most important thing.

[justbehappy]

We have now visited all schools again....and still don't know which to go for.
Pates in terms of results is the best, but SHS just feels right - although is that because we've been there so many times. Wish we knew someone else with option for Pates who is also from a LA school. Perhaps that's why we're nervous as DD will be in the minority I'm sure. Thought the head at Pates was very inspirational...and genuinely nice. Found out last night he's not long moved from SHS

Crazy option maybe, but should DD give Pates a go because of the fabulous opportunity and then if really not happy after Y7/8, try for move to another grammar, ie SHS? Anyone done this? Distance not an issue to either. It just feels if we have the opportunity, then we should take it.

As for DD's feelings, she has some for SHS, but in the scheme of things, she's 10 and surely needs our guidance too (and will hopefully thank us for it long term). Our main priority is DD's happiness at school.

Scenario - Pates

Week 1 - doesn't want to go ( )
Week 2 - made some new friends - happier
Week 3 - looking forward to a certain lesson/day
Week 12 - says 'love my school Mum'

Scenario - SHS

Enjoys every minute - gets to 16 and says ' But why didn't you send me to Pates?'

[capers123]

Enjoys every minute - gets to 16 and says ' But why didn't you send me to Pates?'

Well, at that point, she could move to Pate's for A Levels. A few girls do, though most love SHS so much that they stay on for the mixed 6th form with Marling. My eldest is even taking one A level up at Archway in a subject not available at Downfield - likewise a few from Archway come down to SHS to take Graphic Design.

[capers123]

Thought the head at Pates was very inspirational...and genuinely nice. Found out last night he's not long moved from SHS

You'll find nowadays that staff do move around quite a lot for career progression. For instance, Mr McShane took over the headship at SHS in January. He was previously Deputy Head at HSFG, before that management of 6th Form at Pate's and I believe started off at Ribston. He really is pushing SHS along well in the right direction.

[Stressed?Moi?]

With this whole "which school is best" dilemma, my advice would be to go with the easiest. SHS and Pates are a fair bit distant so unless you live between the two, geographically, one is closer than the other.

I wouldn't even consider a suck it and see approach, as starting school and Year 7 are quite tough and finding peer groups can be tricky; not to mention the dreaded hormones!!! I would say commit to one. Pates is of course considered the cream but at the end of it, it's just a school. If she's smart enough to pass the test in the first place, she will do well anywhere. I trust all of the grammars equally to bring out the best in my dc's.

A key one for me also would be, does she have a preference for single sex or co-ed - obviously you've got the choice. A spur for my dd was that she always wanted a girls school (which is strange given that she has quite a few friends who are boys and is comfortable with them) but it's working out very well for her.

Having said all the above, ds has qualified for STR and Crypt and even though it is a bit of a trek from us in Cheltenham, I'm tending towards Crypt because it feels right. We're going to the STR open day and will let that be a decider.

Not sure about your comments regarding being in a minority because of her attending an LA school. In my experience, that isn't the case - I'm sure some Pates parents will be here to reassure you on that front as not having a dc there I'm not an expert. In every respect she will be as good as anyone else there and I believe it is sending the wrong message to dc's if it is even flagged up. The Pates head I believe is one of the leaders in pushing for lower socio economic kids gaining places there, so the reputation I feel is unfair.

Just my thoughts anyway. It is of course a nice dilemma have . Good luck.

[Amber]

Justbehappy - Justread your own posts!

SHS just feels right

Pates isn't some kind of other planet, wonder world, I promise you! It is only a school and the main reason the results are good is that it selects the very top performers. It has very modern stuff and is all shiny new, for sure, but it has its share of downsides just like every other school anywhere.

It just feels if we have the opportunity, then we should take it.

Why? If you prefer another school, why?

As capers said, if she feels strongly she can move to Pates for sixth form. They take 60 new ones each year.

[Weaver]

Definitely, go with the one you all feel most comfortable with - also taking the journey into account. My DD passed for Pates a few years back, but she felt much more comfortable at HSFG (as did I, to be honest) so that's the one we went for. Plus, she wanted an all-girls school, and it also meant she would be able to take a Stagecoach bus in and be independent.

Pates isn't an option this time, it's between Crypt and Tommies. We'll put Tommies first on the grounds it's only a couple of miles away, but the journey to Crypt would entail 2 buses. We liked both schools very much, but the distance was the decider for us.

I'm back to suggesting a list of pros and cons for each school, and work it out from there.

Good luck!

[justbehappy]

Thank you all for your great advice and feedback (as always). We're new to this and it's our first and last time. I would always only consider a short journey to school and we're in a good position to make that happen for either school. As you say, the general 'feel' is the way to go as both are excellent schools. I suppose you just want the best for your DC's, but 'the best' can come in many different forms. Finally I think we're very close to making a decision

Have a great weekend everyone.

[mar_sea]

I always thought you were male Tolstoy...

Several members of this forum have male user names when they are female. Even a mod . Not sure if there are any the other way round though. (Stroudydad - are you really a stroudymum?)

The Russian word from which Tolstoy comes means 'stout' btw, as you may already know.

Tolstoy is not stout in Russian pronunciation, Tolstoy is a Russian writer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Tolstoy" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;