Private schools vs grammar

[scary mum]

DD has attended both a private school and a Bucks GS. The private school did have nicer facilities (swimming pool, lovely grounds etc) but DD felt that the teachers were of a higher quality at the GS. You have to decide what suits your child more. Being in a smaller environment at the private school and being one of the brightest did wonders for DD's self confidence. Moving her was the best thing we did though, but in the end the combination of both was what worked for us.

[Mum66]

We had one DS at private school and one in the state system. At the time we just went with the school that we felt 'fitted' best for each of them. In hindsight, the private school had smaller classes but also a wider range of abilities so was not such a challenging atmosphere. We also spent a small fortune - not only on fees, trips and extras - but the weekly going out with friends. DS in state system just used to go round to a friends house to 'hang out', rent DVDs, bike rides, etc. With DS at private school it seemed to be more shopping for clothes (should have got shares in Jack Wills !!) cinema, pizza ... every weekend! A more 'materialistic' atmosphere if you like.

I hope you won't need to go to appeal but if you do - you could stick to reasons like academically challenging, etc.

[Daogroupie]

That is really interesting feedback. Thank you. How do you find the parents compare? DG

[hermanmunster]

That is really interesting feedback. Thank you. How do you find the parents compare? DG

my kids went to 2 private primaries.. the parents varied hugely between the 2. at the first -it was really very mixed - some very wealthy parents, mother straight off to the gym in the 4*4 , (quite a few not actually like that - really lovely and helpful) quite a few working mothers , some house husbands. nice bunch easy to get on with - tended by slightly older parents - static population

second school (we moved 100 miles) 4*4, gym, coffee shops, beauifying ++, all the children at podiatrist for their completely normal feet, most mothers not working, high turnover of kids (at school not home ) , new ********* etc etc ....

GS was easier !

[Amber]

At primary school you have to mix with the parents whether you like it or not. I have experience of both private and state primary too and didn't find either especially wonderful for advancing my own social life, tbh. I tend to be a 'drop and run' mother. It depends what you're more comfortable with, and we all tend to be most comfortable with people similar to ourselves,. So if you're a gym bunny who likes to down a few carrot juices in lieu of actual food and spend the day shopping for handbags, you might prefer a school where the mums are like that to one in which they pick up a KFC on the way home and then spend all day on the shopping channel and ( my son's term) 'sharpening their hair' (not joking in either scenario, have encountered both).

At secondary school, whether it's a GS, a stonkingly expensive independent or a tough inner city school, you don't have to mix with any of them. Suits me down to the ground.

But some of the parents of the children I teach have been really, really scary.

[DC17C]

Well DS has made it very clear that he does not want to go to a private school and is still determined to try for local GS. When asked what he would do should things not go to plan in October I was told we could" cross that bridge when we get to it" ( DS's words!)

I guess it depends where you are in the country, we have some very good schools in Gloucestershire both grammar schools and comps. DS is not a child who is interested in lots of extracurricular activities- he has had plenty of opportunuties to try things out- so they would probably be wasted on him.

[capers123]

So if you're a gym bunny who likes to down a few carrot juices in lieu of actual food and spend the day shopping for handbags, you might prefer a school where the mums are like that

I know of state primaries with lots of yummy mums just like that.

[Amber]

So if you're a gym bunny who likes to down a few carrot juices in lieu of actual food and spend the day shopping for handbags, you might prefer a school where the mums are like that

I know of state primaries with lots of yummy mums just like that.

I didn't say whether it was state or private...

[faitaccompli]

Moved from an independent, selective junior school in Bedford to grammar school starting this September.

I found the parents very down to earth (lots of farmers) in Bedford. Yes, we had a swimming pool, 1000s of acres of playing fields etc, but there few parents who thought they were "special" in any way. New parents of children were welcomed into the fold and most out of school children meet ups involved sport of some kind. Most of the children had come from independent kindergartens although there were several who had come from state schools.

I am happy to talk to anyone - but I felt completely out of my depth when I went along to the headmaster's welcome at the new GS. I tried to chat to the parents sitting either side of me, but they were happier to turn their backs on me (honestly, I am not a total weirdo and didn't talk about anything odd!) - I really hope that this is not a sign of things to come. Being a single parent and ALWAYS having to go along to events on my own, it is essential for me that I can speak with other parents!

Any advice?

[hermanmunster]

Faitaccompli - I know what you mean!

I found for ages at the GS events that many of the parents simply wouldn;t get into conversation if they didn't already know me... ie my sprog had not been to the local primary with theirs, was not in the local fell running or cricket club or pre school events etc etc and I was also a foreigner... I came to the conclusion that they were the ones with the problem - not confident enough to meet and talk to new people and it was nothing to do with my flat head and bolt through my neck!