11 Plus Exams Forum

Is this forum a scary place for new people/lurkers?
I do find it 'interesting' that occasionally new people enter into the 'arena' with caveats like 'please be gentle' etc.
As an old hand (relatively speaking!) I have to say I do sometimes feel like I have to be extremely careful about how I word things in case I offend people. Not to mention the copious edits I do!
Am I alone in this?
Perhaps some lurkers/new people would like to comment? I promise to be kind!
EE

EE! I know what you mean -I do feel sorry for some new posters creeping in and I always try to welcome them

However occasionally there has been a poster who arrives with all guns blazing and firing controversial posts from the word go.

I suspect because they get "sorted" it may scare some new (genuine) posters ..... really hope they continue to post and join in the banter

Yeah, I have learned over time to try and moderate how I express my views too (believe it or not). People who pm me probably see a different side - for a start off you can swear in a pm!. I am especially aware of this as I know my views are often considered a bit whacky for this forum. But I think I am quite a kind person inside.

On the flip side, sometimes people post things which are quite hurtful to me, precisely because my views are a bit out of step on occasions. It is easy to forget that even those with strong opinions are still just human beings. So unless people are downright rude, I try to 'be gentle'. If they are downright rude...well, they have it coming, no?

I often type a response to some comment that I feel is wrong or insensitive and then delete it.
I sometimes need to get things out of my system but then I ask myself "Is this convo really worth having?" Occasionally, when I have thought twice, I delete it instead of posting.
Perhaps I just have to much time on my hands?
I do get tetchy ...but I think that's the time to walk away!
And another thing that gets on my wick....blah, blah, blah!

I'm guessing that sometimes it's easier to spout out opinions when it seems anonymous but then gloucestershire is a small place and it's surprising how many people I find out that I actually "know".
It's certainly harder to be opinionated and to "call others to task" when you are
actually face to face. I guess being warm and friendly may also be more challenging, I don't know.
I've always thought it was pretty inviting, more that my DS's primary school playground which was very intimidating

I think the majority of people on here try to be kind and helpful but sometimes there are posts which I just cannot leave.. I do always try to remember that I was new once too!!

I think it may come across as scary for a number of reasons:

a) there is so much knowledge on here (intimidating if you have never experienced VR before)
b) we all have a vested interest in the school we choose for our kids..... and therefore
c) our opinions of other schools can hurt/offend other parents
d) if you have been on here a long time you are used to the banter and strong opinions - must admit, I see some exchanges and think "ouch"
e) a lot of posts are conjecture about issues (thinking of igcse thread recently, and 2 yr/3 yr GCSE courses). Of course none of us know the full facts unless we work there!

and lastly
f) mumsnet has officially called this place the scariest forum on the internet! (No I have never been on there, just heard that from a friend - honest!)

That said, as a relative newcomer, I enjoy the forum, probably more from a psychological viewpoint. I am worried though that I am becoming a little obsessed with it and check for new posts regularly, maybe I should self-analyse myself!

Definitely scary . I do believe that people may be intimidated by the wealth of knowledge that a few of you have on here regarding the education system but personally what scares me most is my addiction to the forum. A year has passed since my DS1 sat the test and another 7 til DS2 sits it and I still find myself lurking on a daily basis - mmmm very scary

really? the scariest?

...off to join other forums now I am "hardened" and know I will cope....

livviloo wrote:really? the scariest?

...off to join other forums now I am "hardened" and know I will cope....

So I've been told....!!!