So, at the end of first term - feelings re new schools?

[ginx]

Hope I'm in your situation in a year's time. For a dc to be in Happyland sounds great.

I'm rather shocked to hear of a school trip for £1,400. Are you talking about an independent school? We simply couldn't afford it nor justify that much.

I hope that's not just an "ordinary" gs. My dd2, assuming she gets a place on 1 March, would want to go anywhere her friends are going. Eek. Perhaps we'd better get saving.

[Amber]

My dd2, assuming she gets a place on 1 March, would want to go anywhere her friends are going. Eek. Perhaps we'd better get saving.

A better lesson than 'we will save to ensure you can go anywhere your friends are going' is 'you don't have to do everything your friends are doing'. Worth learning and applying at many stages along the way.

[ginx]

Good point, Amber.

To be honest, we just can't afford it. And you're right, dd2 doesn't have to do everything her friends do. You sound a bit like Supernanny sometimes, perhaps you'd like to come visit sometime Your words of wisdom would be welcome.

She knows that she can't do everything her friends are doing, anyway, she learned when diagnosed diabetic. I wouldn't want her to go so far away, I'd be a nervous wreck in case there was a problem.

She is also quite a wise little girl and knows that £1,400 is a lot - and unfair on her three siblings. She can hardly save!

That aside, I think it is too much to expect parents to pay for a trip. Is this at an independent school?

[stroudydad]

Yes Ginx that is just an 'ordinary' GS. And most of my Ds friends aren't going, but when we looked at it we thought it would be a great experience, and not one we are likely to be able to do as a family. I did a bit of checking of the itinerary and in all honesty it would have cost nearly as much if I'd booked it all personally.. I should add that this trip is open to the whole school, and was very much a 'if you are interested please let us know' thing.

[ginx]

Stroudydad, perhaps my dd2 shouldn't go to a gs. My ds1 and dd1 at a non selective have had choices of trips to France and Germany (they do French and German respectively) for £350 I think - but they didn't want to go (both dislike languages). But that seemed a reasonable cost.

I suppose so long as she's not the only one who can't go. We might have a family discussion sometime about the cost of school trips. We have family discussions about some things and dc are usually surprisingly mature if it's done at the right time.

I'm quite glad I've read about this trip, because nobody here is going anywhere if it costs that much! I think I'd be jealous! I'm not questioning whether it would be a good experience.

And I mustn't use dd2's diabetes as an excuse all the time (but I wouldn't want her as far away as New York) but that's a separate issue.

[dr.watson]

These trips do seem very costly. Do the schools provide a break-up how they arrive at the cost? I don't think they put the kids up in 5 star hotels. Can these cost be challenged?

[Amber]

I think those of us who are teachers possibly have a jaded view of these things and the 'great experience' line doesn't really play out so well.

As Guest55 says, I tend to think you can always do better as a family than a school can do - you can jump off the beaten track, climb that mountain instead, change your plans because you see something you would rather do; go and try that little restaurant round the corner, that kind of thing. Maybe not in such grand locations but still as valuable...for me probably that is more important than the absolute location unless your child has already travelled every corner of the world. All these fancy trips - just largesse - rugby tour to South Africa - who do they think they are, the b****y England team, rather than St Cakes U13 B team? What is wrong with playing in this country?
It depends on what you think is important - for me spontaneity is very very important and the word 'itinerary' sets me quaking. I want my kids to be brave and free and just take off like I always have. I think there is lots to see in very cheap places and you don't need to cart kids halfway round the world to have a worthwhile experience. In fact parading them in front of supposed worthwhile sights does not necessarily an education make. Plus yeah, it is big money and I don't like my lot getting the message that I would sacrifice my own and their siblings' holidays so they could trot off on a jolly with the school. I intend to force my children to travel with me until they are wrenched away by some rich suitor, as I love their company on holiday* and don't want to give that up yet. They get their independent holiday fix by going camping with their mates and scouts; and camping is something best seen as a spectator sport in my view.

But look, before anyone plays the 'judgmental' card; I am sure your DC will have a wonderful time, stroudydad, and I can tell that you will get enormous pleasure from that too. Many parents are very positive about these things and believe it is the best for their children and therefore, so it is. If any of mine actually ever wanted to go on one of these excursions I might have to think about it but they always bin the letters, whether because they know I will deliver A Lecture or whether, as they tell me, because they don't want to go.

And equally, ginx, your daughter will not be deprived, miss out or anything else negative for being told, 'sorry, no.'

Just the one thing - don't really know what a supernanny is but I imagine some stern, large-bosomed person with hair in a tight bun and not at all fun-loving. It's not me in any of those respects, sorry.

*usually.

[stroudydad]

Amber, as usual I appreciate your comments.. I am happy to to be judged by anyone, I work long hours in a relatively low paid and very stressful job to be able to afford things like these, my wife works nights, and has for 12 years so we could take take care of our children without childcare, and to enable us to give our children these opportunities

Amber, I couldn't agree more about the impact cub/scouts can have, dd will be on camp with cubs new years eve, and ds full on 3day at tolmers fire & ice mid January. They love it, it's good for them in so many ways.

[Amber]

Amber, as usual I appreciate your comments..
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Very diplomatic stroudydad. But I do mean well. Really.

[stroudydad]

Wasn't being diplomatic Amber I genuinely do. They are always balanced and obviously full of the right intent.

The author of this PM however:

I don't want to criticise you on the forum but please remember that your money is also paying for teacher fares and accommodation ... I am a teacher, so do know how these things work - there are specified pupil-teacher ratios and the costs have to cover this.

I think it is admirable that you both work so hard to offer your children these opportunities but there are fantastic things you can do together as a family - these will be shared memories for years to come - far more precious than a school 'jolly'.

Should learn that I don't see a jolly as a bad thing. Just because it's through school doesn't mean it has to be educational. And believe it or not we do lots together.