I don't have much experience, hopefully others will give you better advice, if you DS is getting bored maybe the high academic standard of the grammar school will be good for him to keep him stimulated. Have you spoken to him? Where would he like to go?
Re the ADD, my sister suspected her 4 yr old had autism as he wasn't speaking at all, and she didnt want him to be labelled either. We pulled a few strings and a friend of a friend knew a consultant paeditrician who assessed him and diagnosed him with a speech delay not autism. If you have a friend or family member who is a GP they can give you some idea if he had ADD or not.
Hope this helps and good luck on your 11 plus journey
Thanks for your replies. I'm tending to think that a more stimulating environment would suit him as when I asked him, he said that lessons were quite boring. We spoke to our GP who joked that most men when assessed would appear to be on the autistic spectrum somewhere, but did say that for our peace of mind, an assessment wouldn't hurt. I think we could pay for a private assessment, but a) not sure we could afford it and b) not sure whether it would be our choice on whether the result remains confidential or not. If not, we may as well go down the more usual route. Glad you nephew wasn't autistic in the end - must have been a huge relief.
Thanks too Platypus. There is no doubt in my mind that him being so young has hindered him very much - not least of which being that he has gotten away with things in class and babied a bit which I don't think has helped. After all, had he waited another 3 days to be born, he would now just be going into year 4, although I think academically it would have been a disaster. He has become lazy and allowed to get away with not doing work when he doesn't want to do it. It's something we are really clamping down on here, but he's a pain in the neck if he doesn't want to do things and no amount of priviledge removal or similar has any effect. Which is what has led us to wondering if in fact he has a slight special need. He definately needs to be in an environment where he is not allowed to just "get away with it" and this is where grammar school would I think benefit him, especially as you say, it has given your DS more confidence which I think he needs because he is currently just being told off for messing around. At the end of it we all just want our kids to be happy and this is the most important thing and my worry has been that if grammar school just stresses him and he becomes unhappy, perhaps a "regular" school would be better. Like yourself, we aren't natural pushers either; probably be easier if we were!