A grammar vs. independent dilemma
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Re: A grammar vs. independent dilemma
Thing is, pish, how could anyone give you an answer to that? It would so much depend on the cohort and on the child. I have a friend whose son has been really happy at Kings. I also know another child in the same school year who was not happy and left. The general rule, that it might be harder to find like-minded friends in a small cohort, would not be altered by individual cases - it is just more likely that you will find your soul mate in a group of 200 than a group of 12.pish wrote:loobyLou has a point regarding - where one is concerned about possible friendship groups and finding like-minded individuals, it tends to be easier in larger settings than smaller
Will that be an issue at Kings. Does anyone have any experience.
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Re: A grammar vs. independent dilemma
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's posted. I've had some really good advice and issues have been raised that I hadn't given enough thought to.
Re: A grammar vs. independent dilemma
I sympathise with your position. Our son was very similar. He didn't enjoy rough and tumble games, and all his friends at primary schools were girls. This was the main rationale behind him going to Pate's, as we were unsure about the effect a single sex school would have on his social development. However, he loved secondary school from the very first day. I think it was an absolute revelation to go to a grammar school and meet other children 'like himself' - children who enjoyed studying, were curious about learning, who were academic, bright and valued progress and acquisition of knowledge. He simply hadn't come across anyone like this at his old school. And now, all his friends are boys! So you may well find that your son will come out of his shell once he is in an environment where he is appreciated and fits in. I know many children who are either at Crypt now, or who have attended Crypt, and they are lovely, friendly, considerate boys. I'd have been very happy for my son to go there, and indeed had hoped that DD might have attended Crypt next year.laurenceneville wrote:My son didn't achieve quite the result his mocks, year of hard work and teachers anticipated. He didn't qualify for Pate's, which was his goal. Given his ranking, he has a possible chance at a place at the Crypt and a likely place at Marling.
The dilemma is this. He's academically bright but lacks confidence and is an extremely sensitive boy. He has no male friends - he has always been adamant he didn't want to go to a boys school (Marling was added to our selection just because he did his test there). His happiness is the priority so that rules Marling out.
We visited the Crypt a few times and he had a taster day there. It will be co-ed from next year. I have followed numerous threads here about pastoral care at the Crypt and heard some glowing reports. But during our visits the school felt much too 'rough n' tumble' for him and we've heard some horror stories that, while anecdotal, fill us with dread: we know our son will be vulnerable because of his personality. I know things will change with the entry of girls but our gut instinct is that it isn't right for him.
That means that independent schools have to come into play. Most are out of the question price wise: King's and St Edwards are the most likely and both have the small class sizes that are likely to benefit him. Should we just accept that because he's so sensitive and requires an especially nurturing environment (if he is to fulfil his academic potential) we should aim for independents? Or should we, assuming he is offered a place, send him to the Crypt and (if the worst happens) move him after a year?
Having worked in a private school, I can say that the small class sizes can work AGAINST social integration - social snobbery, competitiveness, and cliques are rife in private schools.