Feeling disheartened by tutor

[Penguin55]

Hi Penguin,


But, I’ve just got this feeling that won’t go away, that DS is more suited to and would be happier in a grammar. My main worries are the travel and lack of local friends.

We are going to keep on with the preparation as he wants to do the exam and then we’ll make a decision. I’m hoping visiting all the schools again in the autumn will help us to make up our minds, and then we’ll see if he meets the standard for any of them!

Yep, this pretty much sums up my feelings! I've entered her for the test anyway, so will see how it goes. I want to see Tewkesbury again to compare to the grammars so we can both get a better feel for the schools.

[Penguin55]

Thanks to bridge and Octsmum too.

I do have a lot of faith in DD's school teacher so am going to chat with them again soon to get an honest view on DD, just to check I am not being completely deluded...

I don't know if the tutor has picked up anything to be honest - they haven't fed back much at all, apart from making me doubt the whole process!

DD's friends are currently split, some doing 11+ and some not, so I can't see this influencing her either way. Perhaps that's the problem. She knows she will make new friends wherever she goes, so it might be something else, or she genuinely doesn't mind. We'll have a heart to heart over the weekend, but I don't want to make too big a deal of it because, ultimately, I think she will do OK anywhere (even if I favour the grammars).

I'm definitely more stressed than she is!

[Watermelon8]

I’ve ‘tutored’ all of mine at home. I think ultimately, you know your child & whether they have the aptitude or not. Your dc has nothing whatsoever to lose by taking the test & any prep you or a tutor do is helpful going forward for their education. If you are paying for a tutor, you have to get the right one for you & dc. I’d also say that some are better than others! Just be aware that paying for a tutor is no guarantee of getting the result you want. It’s not that difficult to do it yourself with a bit of know how, altho needs time & blood/sweat/tears when the tantrums happen. That’s the downside of DIY, much as they want to do it their behaviour is often different to how they’d react with an outsider!
In terms of GS or comp, I guess it depends on the child & the sch on offer(I know nothing about Tewkesbury). There is inevitable pressure at GS to do well but mine like being surrounded by other dc who are driven to work hard & do their best. That’s not to say they wouldn’t get that at a comp but our local comp took all the dc who were responsible for low level disruption in my dc’s Y6. They just wanted to get on with their work & were frustrated so I would not have sent mine there.