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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:10 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:05 pm
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My daughter has reached the qualifying standard for Denmark Road, Stroud High, Ribston and Crypt. I’m incredibly proud of her :D

I’ve always thought a grammar would be the right place for her - she’s bright but needs a push to stay on track , otherwise she tends to coast a bit.

Our dilemma is that both my daughter and I don’t think an all girls’ school would be the right place for her and I’m worried Crypt is too far for her to travel from the other side of Cheltenham every day.

Would I be silly to turn down a grammar place? We both really like our local comp but I do think a grammar is the right environment to challenge her, knowing the way she works, and it’s a gamble that that won’t happen at a comp.

Has anyone else been in this position and made a decision either way?

Such a tough decision and don’t want to look back with regret!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:36 am 
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Which school would she go to if she didn't go to grammar? Many people in Balcarras catchment turn down grammar places to go there.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:42 am 
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We are wondering the same thing about the journey and my DS. I think he would do better at a grammar school but having look round the local comp, I liked that too and he can walk there instead of getting a bus nearly an hour each way... If he had got into pates that would have been fine but crypt is quite a bit further away although really liked it when we looked round.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:58 am 
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Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 2:09 pm
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Location: Solihull, West Midlands
If you want general anecdotal reassurance:

My OH (who endured a lengthy bus commute to his grammar school back in the dark ages) was very anti that for our DC, so our three DC all went to the local comp 11-16 (despite the worries of my Mum who was convinced they would be irretrievably damaged!) - one went to a grammar 30 mins drive / 1hr train/bus for 6th form and the other two stayed locally for A levels too. All have achieved academically as well as I could have hoped and are (almost) all now independent well-adjusted adults (DD has just been offered a post-doc job for January ). There are no guarantees anywhere but generally the most important factor in their future success and happiness will be the amount/quality of parental input and interest as they grow into independence. Having local schools and friends can enable you to be involved in a casual way in their lives and to know their friends, as well as making contact with the school easier for things such as orchestras, sport, fundraising, parents evenings etc .


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:28 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 03, 2019 12:08 pm
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I've said it on here before but I'll say it again....

A bright, hard working child with supportive parents who value education will do well in any decent comp.

My DD1 goes to Pate's because that was the right school for her, its what she wanted and we made the decision that the commute was worth it (only 30 mins anyhow) She is settled and loving it.

I am a Deputy Head in one of the county's comps. Every year we have a good number of students who attain a suite of grades equal to those in the grammars. The grammars results look better, because ALL the children are bright. Comps take a full range and we are equally proud of our weakest students who work just as hard to achieve grades 1-3. A good comp caters for all. Our top set students in the current Year 11 are on track to achieve Grade 7+ in ALL their subjects.

The most important thing about choosing a school is that it is the right fit for your child and will not cause them unnecessary stress or worry. If you feel a girls school is not right for your DD, you're probably right (DD1 would have gone to the local comp if she'd not qualified for Pate's for the exact same reason so I empathise) and if you think the commute to Crypt is too much, you're probably right again....

The nature of the child, the level of support at home and how happy the child is have way more impact than whether the school is a grammar or not.

Hope this helps


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:49 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:07 pm
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I agree. Your child is obviously bright with supportive parents who will give that push if needed so they will excel wherever they go. Where will they be happiest? If it is their local school then go for it. Speak to your local school about what they do with their brightest students but all schools are under huge pressure to ensure all their children progress.

I saw a brilliant post on a glos thread a while ago from a mum who said their daughter had gone to SHS, was middle of the road there, couldn't get into any of the sports teams because they were so competitive, and she wondered whether they would have felt more special at their local school. Your child may have the push they need or get discouraged because there are so many alphas there. Just go with your gut. I empathise, I would be having this quandary myself if it weren't for the fact my daughter is so set on a particular school.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:12 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 12:55 pm
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We did, after being offered a grammar place one week after starting comp, but then my son joined the grammar after all half way through year 7. But our family dynamic was different as his twin went to a grammar (long story).

At every stage we listened to what my son wanted to do. Their happiness must come first. Distance is a dealbreaker too.

Good luck with your decision.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 4:00 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:05 pm
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Mamaofthree wrote:
We are wondering the same thing about the journey and my DS. I think he would do better at a grammar school but having look round the local comp, I liked that too and he can walk there instead of getting a bus nearly an hour each way... If he had got into pates that would have been fine but crypt is quite a bit further away although really liked it when we looked round.


I’m glad I’m not the only one! Distance is such an important factor isn’t it, as I would hate to tire her out with long journeys twice a day, on top of a long day at school, plus homework.

Thank you for replying and good luck with your decision :)


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 4:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:05 pm
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solimum wrote:
If you want general anecdotal reassurance:

My OH (who endured a lengthy bus commute to his grammar school back in the dark ages) was very anti that for our DC, so our three DC all went to the local comp 11-16 (despite the worries of my Mum who was convinced they would be irretrievably damaged!) - one went to a grammar 30 mins drive / 1hr train/bus for 6th form and the other two stayed locally for A levels too. All have achieved academically as well as I could have hoped and are (almost) all now independent well-adjusted adults (DD has just been offered a post-doc job for January ). There are no guarantees anywhere but generally the most important factor in their future success and happiness will be the amount/quality of parental input and interest as they grow into independence. Having local schools and friends can enable you to be involved in a casual way in their lives and to know their friends, as well as making contact with the school easier for things such as orchestras, sport, fundraising, parents evenings etc .



You’re right - thank you very much for your advice :)


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 4:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:05 pm
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onthefence wrote:
I agree. Your child is obviously bright with supportive parents who will give that push if needed so they will excel wherever they go. Where will they be happiest? If it is their local school then go for it. Speak to your local school about what they do with their brightest students but all schools are under huge pressure to ensure all their children progress.

I saw a brilliant post on a glos thread a while ago from a mum who said their daughter had gone to SHS, was middle of the road there, couldn't get into any of the sports teams because they were so competitive, and she wondered whether they would have felt more special at their local school. Your child may have the push they need or get discouraged because there are so many alphas there. Just go with your gut. I empathise, I would be having this quandary myself if it weren't for the fact my daughter is so set on a particular school.



Thank you - that’s really helpful advice. If I was sure the local comp would challenge her, I’d choose them, but as you said, schools are under huge pressure for all children to achieve.

I really appreciate your reply and good luck to your daughter :)


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