Having read various posts over the years I note two main groups in terms of picking schools. One group seems to pick based on GCSE and A-level results and thus will favour Pates over Ribston for example. On the other hand the other group agonises over culture, co-ed vs single sex, pastoral and school reputation e.g sporty, sciencey etc etc. I have personal experience of Pates and Ribston only. Both chosen for second group reasons.

It gets boring explaining Pates isn’t a hothouse and that no Ribston wasn’t my only option. I was most influenced by my opinion of the Head teacher, the children who showed us round and my DC’s preferences. But my head says there’s not that much difference between them really. What do you think?

My daughter whole-hearted loves Ribston, and I could really see her there.
I'm sad that it is 'looked down on' by many.
My daughters happiness come far and above grades and status. She will achieve most where she is happiest, and achievements aren't always measured with league tables.

We are in the second group, we looked round our favourites 3 times over the two years and DD decided that she liked Crypt best. Ribston is our second choice. We liked the ethos of both over Denmark Rd. We didn't visit Stroud as a much longer day and didn't qualify for Pates.

I have a daughter at SHS and a daughter at Ribston and both are thriving. They are different people and the schools fit who they are. They are both brilliant schools in their own way, as are the other grammars, and my belief is that the academics are a given and what’s important is, if you are lucky enough to have the choice, choosing the school where your child will be happiest. If we put ourselves in their shoes, and think about spending the next seven years of our lives somewhere, I think the choice becomes easier...Good luck!

When my daughter was in year 5, I took a group from her school on a series of science and maths workshop days at Crypt. I was impressed how they reach out to lots of local primaries and do events like these, and saw the school just running on a normal day, chatted to teachers and got a proper feel for the school, which not many are lucky enough to experience. From then it was always our first choice, it is our closest grammar, I knew it was good and she'd fit in, what more could you want?

I am interested in all these responses. They all seem so reasonable. We are missing the Pates open morning as I write and this does pray on my mind but it isn't practical for my dd to attend the school, so why waste everyone's time? Reading all the posts in other threads about people who commute from far out of county does make part of me feel like a bad parent for not wrapping my whole life around my children's education and for not sacrificing my own wellbeing for this. But I am not sure what lesson this would give them for running their own lives. Don't do anything fun outside work/school because work and achievement are all that matters? Life stops when you have children? Gamble everything on red?

I am intrigued by everyone's thoughts on culture at different schools. I don't think I can always catch the nuance of this and am far more influenced by how hot and stuffy/packed and uncomfortable/messy the loos are/work on the walls which could be from 1992/whether it was dark and raining/whether I got stuck in the mud in the car park/the odd teacher I engage with when I attend open evenings. Perhaps we always see what we want to see in schools. My daughter loved SHS, I was a bit meh about all of them.

We've recently been to both Ribston & Crypt open evenings which were quite chaotic/busy/hot as you say.
We also toured Ribston in the day, I think what children you have showing you around also makes a difference, our first time around Ribston was by a very shy Y7, who was very happy to answer questions, but not very forthcoming with extra information. Also they hadn't long started, so they didn't know much past their 1st 6 weeks at school.
This time we had a Y13, she had been at the school 7 years, had used pastoral care a lot herself and could sing their praises highly enough. She was passionate about the school, and even wants to return to the school once she has completed her PGSE.

I have a DD in Y11 at SHS who was ranked in the (then) Top 120 for all of the girls' schools (not Pates) and a DS in Y8 at Marling who was right in the twilight zone for Marling only (this was the year that Crypt didn't qualify enough and only filled circa 75 places on Allocations Day).

I agree with your two groups, but I would also add in logistics/proximity.
We live in a village in the Cirencester area and traditionally those passing the 11+ mainly go to the Stroud schools or Pates. Both OH and I work 20+ miles away from home in opposite directions and we needed kids to be able to get home under their own steam from the bus stop. TBH we never even considered the Gloucester schools for either child - luckily we all liked the Stroud schools. Certainly SHS has been absolutely the right choice for DD who has thrived there; DS seems fairly happy a year in. If they hadn't liked them, we probably would have sent them locally to one of the Cirencester schools.

I agree. Logistics / transport / length of day played a massive part here. We also live in the Ciren area and only considered Pate's and SHS for DD1 (who is now in Year 7 at Pate's) and same for twin DDs 2 and 3 (currently Year 5). It will be local for them if not Pate's or SHS.

(They - and I - would actually rather they come to the school I lead if it's not Pate's or SHS but too far away plus I don't think they realise how much being my daughters will cramp their style as they get into the teenage years!!)

Gah!
More comments today of 'Why isn't your daughter choosing Denmark?' 'They got the best results this year you know'............... Etc

Because my childs happiness comes before results!

I'm sure many of you have DD's who are happy at DRHS - but I don't think my daughter particularly liked it anymore than our local comp.
Grades are fantastic bragging rights for some parents - but as long as my daughter achieves what she needs to become whatever she decides to become then its OK with me.