relax a little

[zwemmer]

So many of the people on here are treating the possibility of their child getting or not getting into Latymer as a life or death decision. Its only a school people!! My daughter is going to give the exam a go this coming year and she is a bright girl with a fair chance of getting in. That said, im not prepared to create a situation in which if she fails then she is left with an acute sense of failure and rejection. I grew up in central london and have lived here all my life, was sent to a liberal comprehensive and have friends who have been educated in both state and private schools. From what i see the level of an individuals happiness and inteligence and their ability to find something they love in life and their courage to do that thing has very little if anything to do with their education. Seems to me that many of the parents on here and lots of the parents at our school in hackney are getting so wound up about the whole thing that their kids will be feeling not just the usual pressure from their exams but the added presure from familial expectation. So.......just relax a little.

[Marylou]

From what i see the level of an individuals happiness and inteligence and their ability to find something they love in life and their courage to do that thing has very little if anything to do with their education.

I agree up to a point. However, so much is down to the individual's own level of self-motivation, which may not always be well developed at the age of 11. I am extremely pleased that my eldest daughter ended up at a grammar school, as she tends to "go with the flow". Because she is bright and at a high-achieving school, that "flow" is at a high level and therefore enables her to reach her potential. As she has matured her own attitude has improved, and she has indeed found the subjects she loves and focuses her efforts on them, whilst still achieving well in other subjects. However, I'm not sure this would have been the case at our local school, since expectations there are lower and she might not have felt the need to push herself. She could even have underachieved due to peer pressure and the desire not to appear "uncool", though I suspect this problem might affect boys more.

Our second daughter, on the other hand, is far more self-motivated. I dearly want her to follow her sister to the grammar school, but am confident that, with our support, she will be able to take more responsibility for her own learning should she end up at the local school.

So, in wanting what's best for our children, it's difficult for parents not to get wound up about this whole process. I think the important thing is to love and support our children as best we can, and try not to pass on our own anxieties at what must already be a stressful time for them.

Ultimately, if parents could be confident that all schools were able to educate children so that they achieve their full potential, whatever their ability, then there would be no need for sites like this!

[Mum007]

Ultimately, if parents could be confident that all schools were able to educate children so that they achieve their full potential, whatever their ability, then there would be no need for sites like this!

I couldn't agree more. I'm only on this site because of such poor alternatives to a grammar school - made poorer by the system itself. Who wants their child to be taught amongst a group of children who do not wish to learn and disrupt all the lessons? That is why we are so anxious. I personally doubt if a grammar school is the best place for my child, but what would be best just doesn't exist.