School or Tutor - Who should I believe

Eleven Plus (11+) in Kent

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zelig
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:57 pm

School or Tutor - Who should I believe

Post by zelig »

Hello. This is my first post so please be gentle with me.
My son is due to sit the 11+ in September but we have a dilema. His school say he should be fine to pass (his SATS results are above average but not outstanding) and that they would appeal confidently if he doesnt pass. On the other hand his tutor tells us there is a lot of work to do.

He is doing practice papers with mixed success but he is feeling the stress and strain because he has his teacher telling him she doesnt understand why he has a tutor (although what business it is of hers I just dont know) and his tutor (who he doesnt much like) telling him he needs to do more practice.

Dont know whether to have faithn in the school or the tutor (who has a very good reputation). Maybe we should change his tutor or alternatively give up and go off to live in cave in the Orkney's where I am sure life would be much simpler for all of us

So, any thoughts or experiences that are similar would be gratefully received.
yoyo123
Posts: 8099
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: East Kent

Post by yoyo123 »

some random thoughts!

I think it is very important that he has a good relationship with his tutor. She may have an excellent reputtion but that doesn;t mean she is the right one for your son.


Your son's teacher will know him better than the tutor and will have some idea of how he will fair in secondary school.

The skills needed for the Kent Test are different to his school work and some of the maths will not have been covered.

Teachers do not necessarily know what the kent test entails, especially if they are not year 6 teachers. I certainly didn;t know the exact format until I started tutoring


Have you thought of doing some preparation with him yourself (again this depends on you and your son, my children certainly never listened to me when I tried to teach them anything!)
Bexley Mum 2
Posts: 851
Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:55 pm
Location: Bexley

Post by Bexley Mum 2 »

Zelig - I agree with yoyo. The teacher may not be clued up as to what the 11+ entails so I wouldn't rely on her views; the tutor of course has a vested interest in saying your DS needs to do more work.

Personally I would never, ever leave 11+ preparation entirely up to a tutor. I would always do some work with a DC to satisfy myself that they were on target. If you did a few practice papers with your DS at home, this might highlight some weaker areas that you could then work on with him. I'd also be uncomfortable about sending a child of mine to a tutor that they didn't like. One of the key factors to 11+ success is confidence and it doesn't sound as if your DS's tutor is building his.

I'd also be quite cross if I thought my DS's teacher was talking to him about whether or not he needs a tutor - none of her business!!
SSM
Posts: 646
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 12:09 pm

Post by SSM »

What is the school's past record for predicting kids passing the 11+. Do they normally get it right? If they do then you can be a bit more confident in their prediction, but if they don't then maybe you can get another tutor to assess him.

Don't forget that the tutor does have something to gain by saying that your child needs more work.
Tracy
Posts: 1123
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:28 am
Location: Bexley

Post by Tracy »

The tutor could well be genuine and recognising that there are some weak areas! Try to find out from her what they are and work on them at home. You will then have your answer.
zelig
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:57 pm

Post by zelig »

Many thanks to you all for your replies. We are doing work with him at home and your commenst about the relationship with the tutor make good sense. I can see that he is feeling the pressure and it is making him miserable. Once again, thanks very much.
rr
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:27 am

Post by rr »

HI,

I WOULD SUGGEST YOU CHANGING YOUR TUTOR.

As per your stress and especially your son is getting confused with two contradicted statements from teacher and tutor. I can understand he would have more faith in his teacher than his new tutor and this is making him question his own capability.

the tutor needs to build confidence in him instead of making him confused.
Lady.in.blue
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:18 pm

Post by Lady.in.blue »

WELL

I would go with the school. The teachers and school have probaly known your son for alot longer then this tutor. Therefore they know pretty well what he is capable of. My advice is to ask your son if he is REALLY sure he wants to do this exam, as from personal experiences, I know there is quite alot of stress involved but if they pass you will be exstatic.
jimmymack
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:48 am

Re: School or Tutor - Who should I believe

Post by jimmymack »

zelig wrote:...he is feeling the stress and strain because he has his teacher telling him she doesnt understand why he has a tutor (although what business it is of hers I just dont know) and his tutor (who he doesnt much like) telling him he needs to do more practice...
Both are out of order. The teacher is way, way over the line and the tutor should be telling you not your son that 'he needs more practice' which he and you probably already know. Anyway, if he doesn't get on with the tutor you're probably better off finding another tutor, if you can at this late stage, or simply dropping the tutor and working quietly and calmly with him at home. His arguing with the tutor is going to be counter-productive.
zelig
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:57 pm

Thank You Everyone

Post by zelig »

Thanks to everyone who has taken time to reply. Just to update you we found another tutor that he gets on well with and it transpires that he isnt nearly as far off course as tutor 1 led us to believe. He is much more confident now and is able to focus on a few specific areas that need work (such as his tables!! AAAAAGGGH). As we are now only 3 weeks out I am pleased (?!) to say that he doesnt seem to be too stressed about it and in the long run I think that's the most important thing.
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