Telling the kids they haven't passed.

[didcot2002]

Or how to? My dd is far more anxious than I had anticipated about the result. We have viewed the local comp which we were all really impressed with so I thought she wouldn't be too stressed about a pass or fail. It would seem that some of her classmates are very worried and it has rubbed off!

Do any of you have a plan on how to break the news?

[monstermum]

We are reading the email together. I have explained what it will say. I think I'll get the result quicker as she will read all the intro...... We have plan B/ C and are visiting a school tomorrow so will really big that up. Have already told her how proud I am of her effort and taken her on a day out.

[neurotic kent mum]

My head is very firmly in the bucket regarding this. I have no idea - but will open email I hope long before seeing DS so time to compose myself. I have told him that whatever happens I am very proud of him. And I am.

[scarlett]

I shall open the email before DS too .However I have already gone over all the possibilities with him and shown him a Kent website which has the stats of how many children take the 11 plus and how they only take so many .It is a lottery and I think he understands that . I've told him a few gems to pipe up with if anyone says anything mean to him and also said that it will all be forgotten ( for them at least ) this time next week. I've bought him a card and pressie because what ever happens, he has worked hard and I have told him I'm so proud of him my heart could burst. He went bright red but looked chuffed to bits...and the most important thing for them ,is that their Mum and Dad are proud and know they have done their best. It helps if plan B is a good one, of course...just try to find something positive !

[U400JB9]

Done this once already with DD1 , it was awful, she sobbed for ages. However, we didn`t have any sort of plan B then so was at a loss to tell her it was OK.

This time around PLAN B is appealing as her Best friend will most likely be there too....I assume there`ll be tears, but I might be suprised.

As Scarlett says, she`s already had ber pressie for trying her very best, and she knows I`m embarrassingly proud of her

[dottie1974]

I can't think too much about that at the moment.

I am hoping to read and digest the email and compose myself before letting DD know that we have the result.

I know she will be so upset if she hasn't passed even though she really likes the non-selective alternative. I think it is because she worked so hard for this and will feel that it is a waste of time if she hasn't passed. I know that isn't the case but try telling my sensitive DD that!!

[stuffy]

have been thinking about how best to do this

with medway i quietly read result and called dd to say it had just arrived, but apparently my tone when i called her made her think she was in trouble !

this time wondering whether to get DH to read the email out loud to us both at the same time whilst she sat on my lap??

or whether to let her read it to me, not sure if she will understand it though?

getting goosebumps/ tears just thinking about it

[Looking for help]

When my lad got a rubbish result we actually knew the day before -long story, don't ask , I might get inot trouble, so we had some time to figure out what to say. Our plan B was decent, but he really wanted to go where his brother and sisters went, so it was a very difficult conversation. We told him in the morning before he went to school, as we knew everyone else knew by then too. It was much better when he got to school as nobody from his primary school had passed, so he was in good company.!

The hardest thing for us though was to maintain a civilised persona whenever we had to go to the GS for parent's evening etc for my other ones, as I just wanted to set fire to the place

However, he's in year 10 now, and cold comfort, I know, but you do get over it. He's doing well, and happy, and I am actually more happy about it all than I would have believed possible at the time.

[scary mum]

DD didn't pass but she took it very well - I'm not sure she really understood the implications. Her brothers have certainly been a lot more savvy about it. It helped that her best friend didn't pass either . She moved to a GS later on and is doing just fine

[didcot2002]

Thankfully DD did pass. Out of 18 girls in her class, 5 didn't take the test, 10 passed and 3 didn't pass. The boys fared about the same. A very high achieving class! 1 of the girls that didn't pass (I refuse to use the word fail) is beside herself, she went to school today but looked broken. The poor girl had been tutored and pushed to the point of exhaustion by her overly competetive parents...I hope they are being nice to her now but doubt it.

Whilst I am glad that DD passed as this means that she will go to a good school close to home I feel that the 11 plus is a disgustingly cruel thing to put young children through and can bring out the absolute worst in parents. It is a system that works well for wealthier families, that helps to maintain an elitist society which is clearly unfair to children from families who don't have the resources for extra tuition or extra help at home.

Frankly, I think this system stinks. It is terribly right wing and out-dated!!

Rant over....