Help- daughter passed but friends didnt.....

[miggi]

I thought after getting the results today things would get easier, but oh no was I wrong. I have boy/ girl twins and amazingly they both passed with full marks. Hooray I thought. The joy however has been short lived now DD has found out that her three BFF's were not so fortunate. DD now thinks she doesn't want to go to Wirral Grammar either. How can I make a 10 yr old understand that with her ability (already level 5s for everything at end of year5 and apparently on a gifted and talented register??? although not sure what this is or what it means)that Grammar is ideal for her, when her heart is breaking? Please any advice welcome, as we have had an evening full of tears.
Luckily DS's friends did pass.

[Bati]

we are in abit of a simular predicument - dd finished yr5 level 5a
There was 3 girls who sat the 11+ at her school no boys and there is only her who passed. she was really happy to have passed but gutted when she found out about the other 2 failing and didnt want to go with no friends - i wouldnt mind but there not her best friends so i think it was more to do with not knowing anyone.
We moved her school last feb because her old school would not give her work appropriate for her ability and she found it very boring. She hated school.
Her new school however are really pushing her and giving her work upto gcse level and she is loving it.
So i have explained to her if she went to the local comp with her friends she could very well be bored and hate it like her old school. As soon as she thought about this she soon wanted the grammar again

[Bati]

sorry pressed submit before i finished

Explain to her what ever high school she goes to is going to be alot bigger than her current school and if they all went the same high school they would be split up anyway.
Dont know if this has helped any

[miggi]

Thanks Bati, I'll certainly see if it helps. The problem is DS has been best friends with these girls since Reception and theyre a tight group. She is very popular and has lots of other friends who have passed but this seems to be no comfort to her, as none of her main 3 have passed. DD is a great girl, but is very shy with new people and finds it hard to start new friendships. I think this is what worries her most. Dont get me wrong once people know her her she is really funny, easy going and a very loyal friend. Her teacher refers to her as head girl material!
For now I have invited her friends round this week to cheer her up, and assured her that they will all be welcome in the future no matter what. I will endevour to then keep this up whilst inviting some of her other friends round more to try and alieviate any fear.
I'm glad to hear your daughter passed as I know you have stressed as much as the rest of us about it, and i'll have my fingers crossed that you get in as it sounds like she deserves it. Were lucky that distance isn't an issue for us as we live in Bebington.
Hope you and yours enjoy your daughter success and and have a lovely half term
x

[Bati]

Hopefully its just the initial shock of her friends not passing and she will be fine in a couple of days. what about inviting round some of the girls who did pass for her to build stronger friendships with.
i filled in the on line application for high school yesterday and it says we are 7.1 miles away.
I also phoned the wirral council and asked about distance for last yr and she said they went to 7.9 miles on first allocations and 8.7 through appeal. So hopefully we will be fine on distance
Its going to be a long wait till march 1st

[Tudorblue]

My dd went to high school in September she is very shy and I didn't think she would make friends easy most of her primary school went to new school, she has 3 of them in her class her best friend is in another class but when she came home that first day she has lots of new friends and does not hang around with anyone from her old school, so it goes to show they will make new friends were ever they go, it's just convincing her that.

[doodles]

DS was the only child from his school to go onto one of the boys' GS down here in Kent. We knew which was the best school for him even though one of his best friends was going to the other GS and his other best friend was staying on at the then current school.

He went to his new school knowing a couple of boys by sight and that was it. He makes a 13 mile bus journey so we are not even "local" but that doesn't seem to matter, they get round it. He was alone that first day in Yr7...... now in Yr 9 I can't keep up with who's who amongst his friends. The schools are really experienced at settling the children in and tend to do it very well. Remember they are used to several hundred children descending on them from a huge variety of primary schools and it is in their best interests to get them "sorted" asap.

Good luck with your DD and remember your instinct about which is the best school for her is most probably the correct.

[miggi]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom and reassurance. DD is very sensible and finally coming back round to WG as her first choice. Her friends have been great too, telling her that she'd be daft not to go, and that they'll stay friends forever. All coming round tomorrow for tea, and then I'll start inviting some of her other friends who have passed round, so as suggested, better friendships can be forged!!
Hope you have all had a lovely relaxed weekend

[bromley mum]

Tell her from me that my eldest who had friends go with her to secondary school, is really envious of those who have friends out of school, especially from the primary school!!