11 Plus Exams Forum

We've been going to a tutor since January and already DD is bored and eyes to heaven when I mention the homework. In fact she's pretty reluctant with the getting up and out of the house by 8.30am on a Saturday to go to the tutor (poor love). She's doing really well and getting great marks each week and has only really stuggled with homework once. I hope it's all going to be worth it? So will continue with the chivvying along each week.

But does it get easier? I cant help occasionally wondering why we're doing this - think I need reminding sometimes?

Doblinski wrote:I cant help occasionally wondering why we're doing this

Sounds like those vibes are being transferred.

Hi

Seems a bit early for your DD to start flagging. Its a long process and I would not expect a child to flag until later in the year. My DD flagged around the October half term but picked up again. Could it be that she is not suited to this particular tutor? Is it just the early mornings - perhaps a later session? Failing that how about tutoring at home?

Hope it works out.

Richmond

From my experience with DS, it was a bit of a battle of wills for the first couple of months! He thought that if he made enough fuss I would let him give up but I stood firm and after a while he accepted that he would go to the tutor once a week and do the homework he was set. I tried to be consistent as to how much work he was set and when he had to do it each week. He liked to be given 20 - 30 minutes warning when he was expected to do some work rather than being told to get on with it right away. Also, apart from the summer holiday before his first 11+ exam, he didn't go during the holidays but still did a bit of homework. We usually worked this out by negotiation.

The tutor also helped as DS likes to draw and so does she, so at the end of each lesson she would let him do some drawings and she would offer advice. She also had some drawing books that she lent him - it all went to keeping his interest.

Try setting a timetable so you DD knows exactly when she has to do her work and offer some sort of reward programme (there's a thread with some good suggestions under Anything Else, I think).

Finally, as SVE suggests, if your DD thinks your heart isn't in it why should her's be? Try reminding yourself why exactly you're doing this (whatever your reason may be). For me, it wasn't all about the 11+ (that was an added bonus) DS was coasting along in a very disruptive class and I wanted to make sure that if he went to our local comp (which is pretty good) he would hopefully get into most of the top sets and be with other kids that want to get on and learn rather being continually disupted. As it was, he surpassed all our expectations and got a guaranteed place at GS. He has also learnt some new skills over the past year, with his English improving dramatically and it has boosted his confidence greatly.

Hope this helps - good luck with DD. I have to confess, I'm not looking forward to going through all this again with my DD - she is a lot more headstrong and stubborn than her brother.....

Best wishes
Plum

Thanks Plum that was a really great comprehensive answer and just what I needed to hear. I'll follow your advice.

Yes you're right about reminding myself of why we're going through this process. DD can be a bit of a 'do the minimum to get by' girl and amazingly seems to do pretty well all the same. The theory of going for chosen GS is that they'd hopefully not just accept the brushed off in a giffy style of work but will draw out something more and help her fulfill her potential.

And I will be more positive - thanks guys.

if mine were ever reluctant, I'd say, "OK, I think you should go, but if you refuse, then we have to go along there and you have to say to Mrs X that you're not coming, and she'll expect a good answer." I didn't fly in a huff or go off on one or any of my normal modes of behaviour, was just pleasant (:shock: ) but matter of factly brisk. Surprisingly, it worked. Didn't miss one session.
Mind you, 8.30 on a Saturday morning sounds a bit bleak. We moved to Sats in Y6, but in Y5 it was after school and a question of just whisking them straight there without time to stamp and hissy fit. I understand that one wouldn't want it dominating the weekend - if it were at 11, you've effecivetly given over the whole morning to it, but is it possible to change it to an after school slot??

Did I mention that I also had a bar of chocolate in the car waiting for DS when he finished Bribery works every time!

Can you not have a tutor come to you? did that with both my DS's and found it very stress free for them.

Great advice. Thanks.
Suggested bribery and the stuff n nonsense approach I like - especially the 'Dont tell me tell it to your tutor you dont want to go' - very good (tee hee).