I am trying to work out if grammar school is potentially the right place for my son. So I know that this is not a question that anyone else can answer, but I was hoping that some of you might be willing to share your own situations, so I can get an idea of the type of children that are thriving.

My son is only in Y3, so I am just pondering at the moment. He is probably in the top three in Maths and the top two or three in English. He is a good all-rounder (good at sport too). He does have a tendency towards perfectionism, in that he both gives up very easily if he isn't top, and he dismisses himself as not being bright if he isn't top. These two things worry me in a grammar school context (but he is only 8 so he has time to develop a little more resilience).

My daughter will be sitting 11+ exams this year, but she is an entirely different kettle of fish. She is top of a very academic class, and loves competition and needs a challenge.

My concern is that for my son, all of the schools near us are super-selective (e.g. Sutton schools and St Olaves). I'm worried that the standard will be broadly higher than in the girls grammars, and that my son may be happier in a school where he can potentially be a high-flyer, compared to a grammar school where he wouldn't be a high flyer. At the same time, I'm worried that not trying (when his sister is), will make him feel like he is already not good enough. He is a bright boy, he is exceeding at everything, but he isn't miles above his peers.

So, my question is - for those boys who are thriving at the Sutton grammar - are they all exceptionally bright, top of their primary classes? Or is their space for a bright boy who isn't clearly miles above his peers (even if he is a good all rounder and is strong at everything)? Are any of your boys like that doing well?

We do have to visit the schools, so I really am just trying to get an idea of who the super selectives suit!

Thanks so much!

Hello,

From what you say, your son is already in top 10% of his class by academic achievement.

In my experience, given a good state primary school, almost every year approximately 5 to 6 people out of 30-35 passed the 11+ exams successfully. So if your child is in the strongest 20-25% by the end of year 4 - it is certainly worth to try.

Thanks Irisa. That is a higher proportion than I expected for the superselectives. I was assuming it was more like the top 5-10%. If they were taking even the top 15% I think that would be reassuring, because if that included children with a more spiky profile than him (e.g. good at maths, less good at English; or possibly vice-versa), then he might be able to excel in some areas.

I think we are going to prepare for it, because irrespective of whether he gets a place, I think that starting do do some more challenging work, and having to do some amount of homework each week, is a useful preparation for secondary school no matter where you go. He gets zero homework in his primary school.

I would agree with Irisa. If your child is in the top 20% overall it's worth going for it. A lot of the 11+ is about perfecting technique on how to perform in the exam on the day.

We have been informed of school allocations in the current Y6 at our primary school. Based on that and the last year results, I would probably amend my earlier observation that those who are in the top 1/3 of their class by achievement should try to sit the 11+ test.

It is different every year, or course, and in the last couple of years boys seemed to be more successful in getting grammar school places.

Thank you. I'm pleasantly surprised. I am going to talk to his teacher at the next parents evening. I'm not sure she will be able to tell me much, but I thought I'd double check that my perception of his ability is correct. But it is a much broader range than I was expecting.

Good...in Y3 just asking them to read every day, with and to parents is enough. They are children. Play and fun and sitting gazing at their navel is important. If you are going to start 11+ prep then y5 is plenty enough - till then just make sure he reads and is secure in his times tables - if a child needs more than a year's prep then maybe grammar school isn't for them.