Multiple Offer Holders

[MrsChips]

IWish, I remember when my ds did the N London grammars hanging around these boards and was the first to post that it was a no for him. Then I just read message after message saying 'yay!' and 'DAO rank 11' and 'first letter from Latymer for us!'. You'd really think that the success rate for these schools was 9 out of 10 judging by the boards. I did wonder where the many disappointed hundreds were...

It's twofold. People who go on this forum are more invested than average so probably more likely to be successful. Secondly, people are much more likely to want to post their good news, especially since they don't want to be bragging about it in real life. I was very determined to be open about our lack of success, but I can see that others might just want to avoid these boards for ever more in the circumstances.

FWIW I'm very glad he didn't get DAO or Latymer as they were both tricky journeys (something that's easy to ignore in the application process, much harder for a child doing it daily). He absolutely ended up at the right place for him and is thriving in y8. I know it's hard to feel optimistic at this point and it's horrible to feel that your child has been judged and found lacking, but it will all work out in the end.

[CPM1771]

By far the most help I received from this forum was when dealing with slight disappointment for DS2 who did not get his first choice school. It was a little crushing at the time and difficult to see that it would all work out (it did ! ) The support from parents on this forum really helped so I would definitely encourage people to ask for advice from others when dealing with difficult situations. The experience of others who have been through this is very reassuring. I often log on at this time of year to see if there is anything that experience might help with.... and then breathe a sigh of relief that it's not me going through it again. GCSE's here we come. Nice to hear from you Mrs Chips !

[Sizzler]

You were brave to post iwish and you have helped a lot of people by doing so.

It is really important that the forum does not just represent the good news stories because that makes those who don't get in feel even more isolated.

There are hundreds who did not get Habs offers because they interviewed so many, far many more than they needed to in my opinion. So false hope was created where really there probably was no hope. It also creates confusion when the interview seemed to go well. In reality it is the exam results that have prevented an offer not the interview. DG

We only applied for one indie and unfortunately not offered a place, although my son was called for an interview. The letter does not indicate that he is on a waiting list. But can we still call the school and be put on a wait list or am I just being hopefully unrealistic.

[MrsChips]

Vice versa CPM - you were very generous when I was dithering and I was so hoping that somehow good karma would mean that our rejecting said school would lead to your boy coming off the waiting list as direct swap. As it is, it really sounds as if it's worked out brilliantly without that needing to happen.

I've just come back on here as an awful prelude to next year when I've got it all to go through. Every Christmas and January I have a little shudder. It is hideous and I don't know why we do it.

[CPM1771]

We only applied for one indie and unfortunately not offered a place, although my son was called for an interview. The letter does not indicate that he is on a waiting list. But can we still call the school and be put on a wait list or am I just being hopefully unrealistic.

The offer letter usually indicates if there is the potential for a wait list place. You can, of course, call the school and tell them that it was the only school you applied for and ask if there is the prospect of placing him on a wait list. They can only say no. What you have to realise though is that it is unusual for many schools to use their wait list in any event. They over offer to a large extent so it is only if they really don't get the acceptances that they anticipate that the list is used. By far the most stressful period if you are on a wait list is the horrible period of not knowing. Nothing usually moves until the last day to accept offers. If you do end up on a wait list then really do try to move on as if there is no prospect of a place.

[maroussia]

You were brave to post iwish and you have helped a lot of people by doing so.

It is really important that the forum does not just represent the good news stories because that makes those who don't get in feel even more isolated.

There are hundreds who did not get Habs offers because they interviewed so many, far many more than they needed to in my opinion. So false hope was created where really there probably was no hope. It also creates confusion when the interview seemed to go well. In reality it is the exam results that have prevented an offer not the interview. DG

We only applied for one indie and unfortunately not offered a place, although my son was called for an interview. The letter does not indicate that he is on a waiting list. But can we still call the school and be put on a wait list or am I just being hopefully unrealistic.

Argh… it’s my time to post – and I’m very thankful to the previous posters who started this topic, otherwise I would have probably stayed as one of those ghost browsers, even though I was happy (albeit bitterly) to read so many success stories on the board.
We have only applied to two indies, both very popular and difficult to get in – so we were totally conscious it might not work out and therefore it was on the basis of ‘let’s see what happens’ – I do have to remind myself about this now! My DD is in a state primary and the whole business of private schools was a totally new world for me – as well as last minute decision. She got invited to the interview / assessment at one of the two schools, which we were both thrilled about and even though there was a clear understanding that the place was not guaranteed, it did spiral the expectations, and so it was totally crushing to receive a thin envelope last Friday. No reserve list either. I have contacted the school and I have to say, it was very nice of them to get back to me almost immediately explaining the lack in offer – apparently, DD scored exceptionally high in NVR, which enabled her to get an interview. She was also praised for her group work and performance at the interview, but in the end her Maths/ English results were not as high as the others, hence no offer. First of, I do appreciate this feedback (the other school ignored all my emails, having become completely uninterested in us after the exam, even though in the beginning they were sweet as honey), secondly, I am happy that my DD had a chance to experience the interview, which she really enjoyed. But I cannot help feeling a bit , because no matter how good the interview was, the rejection came from the results. I do understand though, that in the (unlikely) event they didn’t meet enough of amazing candidates at their interviews, who also scored high at the exam, my DD would have had a better chance for an offer. But this didn’t happen.
I just hope to have some good news re. state school next Wed and move on. But at the same time, I still find it hard accepting that ‘this is it’ with this school, no more chances … Thank God, my DD seems to be much cooler about this all…
What are the options? I guess asking them to put the name on Reserve List is pointless, as this wasn’t offered. Try for 13+? It’s in 6-7 months and they will only have a few places… Would they seriously consider someone they’ve already seen and rejected? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you

[Sizzler]

I just received a call back and was told that even though DS was invited for an interview which then didn't result in an offer they do not operate a wait list and therefore there was nothing further that they could do.

[CPM1771]

[… Thank God, my DD seems to be much cooler about this all…
What are the options? I guess asking them to put the name on Reserve List is pointless, as this wasn’t offered. Try for 13+? It’s in 6-7 months and they will only have a few places… Would they seriously consider someone they’ve already seen and rejected? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you

All you can do is follow her lead and be cool about it as well. There is nothing wrong with trying again. The unfortunate fact about some of the entrance exams is that the preparation is everything. The NVR results -v- Maths/English are a clear sign that with a bit more prep the ability is there. I know many children who got into schools second time. It is not an obstacle. That said, by the time you have to make that decision I promise you that it is overwhelmingly more likely that she'll be settled and happy and all of this will be behind you. Very best of luck with state school allocation.

[maroussia]

All you can do is follow her lead and be cool about it as well. There is nothing wrong with trying again. The unfortunate fact about some of the entrance exams is that the preparation is everything. The NVR results -v- Maths/English are a clear sign that with a bit more prep the ability is there. I know many children who got into schools second time. It is not an obstacle. That said, by the time you have to make that decision I promise you that it is overwhelmingly more likely that she'll be settled and happy and all of this will be behind you. Very best of luck with state school allocation.

Thank you CPM1771. I will let go eventually:) Just really want to give her what would be the best for her (who doesn't). Everyone keeps telling to me that she's a very bright child but the truth is that she has to be challenged / set high standard by the school in order to do her best and apply her abilities. She's not self-motivated enough (yet?) and does prefer the easy ways (she's very clever in finding her ways round certain things, this is where her intelligence goes to)... When the standard/target is set by school, she does take it serious; whereas when I push her, I am just a 'pushy / demanding mum'. Hence was my thinking that indy would be better for her. Her current state primary was satisfied with her being 'at standard' or slightly above and basically told me to chill when I was addressing my concerns. I guess their main focus are those who are below standard... I don't want this to repeat at secondary.

[kenyancowgirl]

Then tell the secondary school that....tell her that you believe she is capable and that you expect her to make above average progress and would appreciate them keepig her nose to the grindstone in that respect. They will appreciate knowing that she has supportive and interested parents at home. With regards to when you try and tell her what to do/being a pushy parent etc...welcome to the pre teen years - in her eyes you will be "the worst parent and her best friend" all rolled into one - knowing which role you are supposed to be filling is challenge not listed in the parenting manual!