Top state grammar vs top independent offer

[purpletulip1212]

Very passionate discussion indeed! But not sure who are we trying to prove. One needs to be convinced about their decision and this is all that matters.

My child cleared the grammar school exams that she took but we decided to opt for an independent school. Not because we had anything against grammar schools but simply because I felt my child to be a better fit in an independent school setting. For us pastoral care is important and we have experienced independent schools provide excellent pastoral care.

Moreover, we felt independent schools provide a multi cultural environment and more and more it has been proved that it is the environment and experiential learning that helps in the long run. It is amazing to see the ethnic diversity in independent schools. This is the call of the hour and important for my child to live in a diverse world rather than ghettos.

I am not even looking at what career she will take after 10 year. The world is fast moing and the professions which are relevant today may not even exit in 10 years of time. So our purpose is to make her resilient enough to cope with the changing world. There is more to life being an engineer or a doctor.

Also we don't want her to be a score card who is being compared to others.

Last but not the least, I respect the decision of parents who put their children in grammar schools but would also like people to respect the sensibility of people who decide for independent education. There is no right or wrong and no one should be judgemental towards others. My reasons for opting for independent school is personal and is based on how I have been brought up and I acknowledge the same for others.

Ecco, this is by far the most eye opening post and let me explain why. I have met pRents from all schools including grammars, comprehensive and independent and none of the indie mums every had a narrow view point as you have shown via this post.The same fast moving world you speak of is also opening up opportunities for the so called ghettos which include diverse children from every type of background.( I’m very interested by what you mean by “ diverse world rather than ghettos “here but would rather not ask).
I would want my child to grow up to be a compassionate individual and surely from what you say the independent may not exactly provide that, am I right. The parents I’ve met though who also do a fair amount on grammar school bashing because their child has not passed the exam and their perception is immediately that the grammar system does not deserve their precious child. This is my takeaway: crowds are mixed in all kinds of ways be it school, work or general day to day living. I definitely don’t want my child to think he/ she is superlative just because of being from somewhere or having gone to a certain school. At the basis of everything if one is not a good human being that defeats the purpose of education for me at least.

[mm23292]

I can't speak for other areas, but where we live, it largely depends on the school. Our local village school where my eldest attended, in line with our village demographic, had very little ethnic diversity, and that mix remains largely unchanged. The local prep however, that our youngest now attends, has a far more diverse intake, from both affluent families in surrounding areas, and aspirational families in perhaps less affluent neighbourhoods. Battered cars and grand-parental presence are very much a common theme! As for senior school, I would say one local GS has very little ethnic diversity, and the other, far more so. While the senior independent my eldest now attends, has a broad and balanced mix, our local college, does not seem to be the case at all!
It really can't be generalised, but I do think where diversity in independent schools is concerned, affluence & aspiration often have an equal hand to play.

[tropicalsun]

I have been on this forum for just over 2 years now, most of the time in the background, but every now and again it does worry me when I read posts where it appears that the poster believes independent schools are somehow superior to grammars and other state schools.

While it may certainly be his/her perception and we have every right to challenge it on an open forum, my concern is that this is the sort of opinion that gets passed down by parents to their children attending the independent schools, thereby breeding snobbishness and a superiority complex. I have no idea how that can possibly prepare them for the real world.

Regarding the choice of independent over grammar, why would I pay for something I can get for free?? But’s that’s another whole thread! Personally I would only ever consider an independent if my child didn’t qualify for a good grammar school. Moreover it would have to be on a bursary as sadly I cannot afford full fees. However, if I did manage to get my child into an independent I would hope that the other children would not treat him any differently simply because he did not come from a ‘rich’ family and may possibly live in what their parents think is a ghetto

[Sla212]

....and there are posters on here who clearly wouldn't send their children to an indie if it was the last school on earth! Each to their own....

Our choice this time last year came down to an indie (with scholarship) and a selective....location won out & we went for the indie which has a much easier journey. With regard to diversity I feel that probably the indie wins on diversity too.....
But then what feels diverse to one doesn't to another. Certainly I ruled out sitting for one N London selective since it appears to have little or no diversity.

My oldest is at a state secondary which has been challenging & at times disastrous. My second will now have 7 years at an indie. They both went to a state primary. I went to an indie secondary & my husband went to a state secondary. I would hope that the
Knowledge that we are far more than just the school we attend is something both our children have realised.

At the end of the day we can surely only choose based on what we feel suits our own child best. What suited my first child would not have suited my second. We all know what we think we want from a school & generally we all aim for the best school available.

[doodles]

............and important for my child to live in a diverse world rather than ghettos..............There is no right or wrong and no one should be judgemental towards others .

Hmmmmmmm! Sounds pretty judgemental to me.

[PerpetualStudent]

I could be way off base here but I think Ecco meant 'ghetto' in the sense of an isolated or segregated group (Oxford Living Dictionary) and not necessarily as a poor or slum area.

PS

[doodles]

Whichever way it was meant it Ecco is still making a "judgement" on the population of grammar / state schools.

[Sla212]

Whichever way it was meant it Ecco is still making a "judgement" on the population of grammar / state schools.

Well, in every comment that we write we are all expressing a "judgement"....aren't we?

I didn't feel that when I read Ecco's comment, I have to say.

Ecco is presumably commenting on schools that she/he knows? And we are all entitled to our opinions.....many here are very happily offering "judgements" of independent schools, it would seem.

[kenyancowgirl]

But Ecco was making some quite derogatory judgements at the same time as telling everyone else that they shouldn't be making judgements....

[Sla212]

But Ecco was making some quite derogatory judgements at the same time as telling everyone else that they shouldn't be making judgements....

Unless the original comment has changed, I honestly can't see anything derogatory in there at all? I thought it was v carefully worded.