How to afford it

[tense]

When OH & I were looking at schools for our DD a couple of years ago, we did so with both her & our younger son in mind, & wondered what we would do if things didn't go well on allocation day. We decided that we could only manage school fees for one child, and that weighing up the very different personalities of our children, decided our son should go private over his sister.

That sounds so awful, but that's how a family like ours would have afforded school fees. Luckily, our DD got her 1st choice school, and, as we only have partially selective schools in this area, our son will also go there as a sibling

My DD occasionally likes to remind me that she "saved" me about £70k - usually when I tell her I won't buy her something she wants

[3pink]

We've afford it by withdrawing every penny of savings we have and praying the stock market goes up over the next 6 months.
This investment in their future is at the expense of the bigger house we would have preferred to have used the money for but I was concerned that DD's friends at state primary were all happily heading for the local comp where as her friends at the prep are all aspiring to staying in indie or grammar.

[moved]

You can always tell the school that you cannot afford the fees and ask for a bursary. Many schools offer 50-100% bursary, but do not advertise this fact. Let them meet your DC and then ask.

[mad?]

Am I missing something or are fees for most schools prohibitively expensive?

Is there some magic way that people can afford indie fees other than living on gruel, working all hours God sends and never taking a holiday again or bank robbing?

Back to the OP

Yes to the first question and no to the second in my experience.

For many the cost of school fees comes easily (or through luck, grandparents or hard work) for others less so. IMO there appears to be a huge 'income gap' where parents earn too little to afford fees and too much to get a bursary.

For many the cost of moving into a grammar school catchment within an easy (and cheap) commute to work is not far off indie fees. Locally indie fees are definitely lower than the cost (post stamp duty) of moving from a terrace (us) to a semi in a grammar catchment. We are not in an exclusive part of London.

For some, who can afford it and/or have the desire, the money will be found, somehow, by sacrificing lots and then more.

Ultimately some people afford it because they can (lucky them) or some because they make huge compromises. Either way some can't afford to go grammar OR indie and have to hope their local option is good enough.

That is wrong.

[T.i.p.s.y]

I think there needs to be far more GS. I know some people find it devisive but on the whole most people want more or there wouldn't be 1000+ turning up to sit entrance tests.

[chardom]

Our nearest grammar school is 50 miles away so was never an option for us! I was determined not to send my DS to the local comp so we had no choice but to remortgage and send him to an indie school which is only 8 miles from home. He has come from a state primary and has taken to it like a duck to water and is loving the fact that he no longer gets called names for putting his hand up and trying in lessons! Even though we won't be having a holiday for the foreseeable future because of the cost, this makes it all worthwhile to me.

[zee]

Either way some can't afford to go grammar OR indie and have to hope their local option is good enough.

In the few areas such as Bucks that have fully selective secondary education, it's not such an issue. Every home in the entire county is in catchment for at least one grammar, and buying a millionnaire's mansion nextdoor gives no advantage over a council flat round the corner (other than the inherent likelihood that those from advantaged backgrounds, will, as a group, tend to perform better in academic tests).

[mad?]

In the few areas such as Bucks that have fully selective secondary education, it's not such an issue. Every home in the entire county is in catchment for at least one grammar, and buying a millionnaire's mansion nextdoor gives no advantage over a council flat round the corner (other than the inherent likelihood that those from advantaged backgrounds, will, as a group, tend to perform better in academic tests).

Like I said, luck come into it. To move to Bucks for a 'like for like' terrace is more cost prohibitive than indies for some.

[testbuster]

Ah yes, that's why we moved to Kent, fully selective - in fact the most grammars in the country - and the housing is much cheaper, especially compared to London. Plus it's still commuting distance. Cut our cloth according to our means. That was our original decision and why we "prefer" GS. I should just have the confidence to believe that's the right decision!

[guest43]

We afford it by-

only having one child
living in a cheap house in a cheap part of the country
running a small car

In my opinion the right school for your child is beyond price.