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How to answer a tricky question?

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:23 pm
by wanting the best
DC is doing the test and interview for an indie school. We have also done the 11 + exams. Apparently the indie doesn't like its applicants to do the 11 + and always ask at interviews why were the 11 + attempted. Any suggestions on how to answer this question (our reason was that indies are expensive so we did the 11 + and the indie school is a backup).

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:29 pm
by hermanmunster
Crumbs I think it is a bit tough asking an 11 year old when ultimately it is the parents decision!!
(I presume it is the child they ask?? or is one that interviews parents too)


I would suggest that DC (if they are asked) says that they liked both the schools and couldn't decide which one they wanted to go so took both.

You could try the same line ... say that the way in which the application / exam / interview process is handled by a school is very important to you in deciding which school to go select. Butter them up with - obviously the facilities are better here etc etc (even if you don't think they are..)

Don't tell them it is a back up.

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:36 pm
by T.i.p.s.y
If they are asking DC and not the parents then I think DC should just say, "My parents have decided I would sit for both and they will make a decision if I get offered more than one place."

If there is a definite answer then DC won't get flustered and the school should not pursue anymore questioning on this matter. If they do then I would be very annoyed.

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:41 pm
by hermanmunster
I agree with Tipsy - yr DC needs to practice a very clear answer, and you make a fuss if they push any further.

I think it is very frustrating with schools trying to find out what parents are doing and making them feel guilty for applying elsewhere.

In the case of some indies it is because they have excess places and feel miffed every time a good candidate choses the GS over them.

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:01 am
by Ed's mum
Yes, I thought the same as Tipsy and Herman. The child needs to absolve their responsibility and say it was a parental decision. Which, frankly, it often is.

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:36 am
by Jiff
Just a thought, and I don't of course know which independent school you are applying to, but it may be that the school is trying to gauge realistically how many places to offer. When we applied to two indies last year, I was quite open in the interview with the Heads that we would take up a grammar school place if successful; my DS was still subsequently offered scholarships by both indie schools.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:50 am
by hermanmunster
Jiff wrote:Just a thought, and I don't of course know which independent school you are applying to, but it may be that the school is trying to gauge realistically how many places to offer. When we applied to two indies last year, I was quite open in the interview with the Heads that we would take up a grammar school place if successful; my DS was still subsequently offered scholarships by both indie schools.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
Quite likely that this is the case - I suspect that the schools may genuinely be getting info - not actually being judgmental. However difficult for the kids in stressful situation. easier if they already have some results!

I was interviewed for second choice Uni - I was asked if I had been interviewed elsewehere, said that I had unconditional offer for X - th first choice - guffaws round panel ... "if you've got a place there - you won't want to come here will you?" ... superconfidence of the 18 year old comes out and replies that it would be nice to have the choice! Another equal offer arrived...

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:37 pm
by huntlie
Jiff, I'm sure your child merited the scholarships offered, but for general information, the very reason that you said firmly that he would accept a GS pace will have been instrumental in the offer! That's what scholarships are for these days, in many areas, sadly - a bribe to parents to keep a kid in the indie (from the JS) or prevent them going to GS.

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:28 pm
by Jiff
Huntlie, I'm sure you're right. I just wanted to point out that it's worth being quite open about one's intentions.

PS Just to clarify, and in case it's relevant to wanting the best's situation, my DS was at a state primary.

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:37 pm
by surreymum
We were asked exactly this at an indie interview by the headmaster. It was quite clear he was not very interested in us if we were going to opt for grammar. I don't know if it was because ds had done well and was in line for scholarship but we had a very uncomfortable time for a few minutes. I think it is worth preparing carefully your response to this-perhaps something along the lines of the indie clearly being your first choice as it's so fantastic but having concerns financially and needing to keep your options open in the current climate plus exam practice or whatever else you feel appropriate.