Thinking of Indipendent but worried about the money...

[hilltop]

Can any grandparents help out with fees?

[sherry_d]

Huh Amber that was very well said.

[mad?]

However I would not feel that I had to spend the same amount on each child. Surely you have a child that is involved in more activities than another. Do you really give the other child money because they aren't doing as many activities/learning another instrument? If you had a child with a disability and had to spend a lot of money on their needs would you then give the able child the same money? If a child is not academically able then they have needs but I personally think it's unhealthy that other children would expect the same things in monetary terms. It couldbe a dangerous road to go down.

I agree with Tipsy here, I don't think it is possible to ensure that the same amount is spent on each child and so I would try to factor that issue out of the equation, it is your money (or debt!) to spend on the family in whatever way you feel will getthe best outcome for all of you.
With regards to the OP, we funded it by me going back to full time work, albeit that I have the flexibility of being largely freelance and based from home a lot so some of the negatives associated with this do not apply. In terms of DDs peers ALL her friends at indie have both parents working (largely, it would seem, having not given up in the first place) and I think this is a common way to fund at least part of the cost. I suggest you explore all the options, if there are no appropriate state options you may find the less selective indies offer scholarship support?
One word of warning though, many times when we can't afford something I think about the decision we made (particularly as we turned down a grammar offer for DD1) and sometimes wonder if it was the right one. I think it was but have to work hard at times to ensure that the DC (especially DD1) don't get even the faintest sniff of my misgivings as it would be awful for them to think that they were a financial burden and feel guilty about something which, after all, was our decision and choice and not their responsibility at all. Good luck!

[Waiting_For_Godot]

Who's Tipsy?

[hermanmunster]

slip of the pen mad?

[hermanmunster]

I think the "trying to spend the same on each child" is fraught with problems... In some areas there is only indie spending if the child doesn't get into GS, should that child then also be disadvantaged over money when it comes to University? If they want to do medicine will you only support them for the first 3 years?

[Snowdrops]

Too many coincidences I think, hence the 'slip of the pen'.

We might open a poll to decide if WFG IS Tipsy!

[mad?]

slip of the pen mad?

oops sorry...freudian perhaps...I am, after all, mad?

[mad?]

Too many coincidences I think, hence the 'slip of the pen'.

We might open a poll to decide if WFG IS Tipsy!

[Waiting_For_Godot]

Maybe I'm a Tipsy stalker......after all she did share a lot.....