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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:11 pm
Posts: 17
HELP! We (DD and DH) have just decided to try to get DD into a private school for Y7. She is currently Y6....upper middle in her class, but lacking in confidence. Having been to view the local state secondary schools near us we feel that she would thrive better at one of the indies.
I'm panicking though as we only have 3 months to prepare for the exams. She lacks confidence and never performs brilliantly at tests at school as she is so nervous. I have the Bond books and we are working through those now, but feel we will be playing major catch up and of course she will be at a disadvantage from those who have been at prep school. She seems to do ok at the Bond nooks but only with me sitting next to her [sigh], if I move away she says she cannot understand the question she is working on.
I feel like crying and actually I'm not sure I can go through three months of preparation let alone her. BUT she does want to go to the indies we have seen, so I have to give her the chance.
Anyone out there who has been through a similar experience I would love to hear from you - especially if your DC was also middle of the road (I am not wanting to break any score records here, or go for scholarships; I just want her to get in)
The schools we are looking at are ranging in their intake policy: One is quite selective, one expects a certain standard, but the exam is 'not everything' and one as far as we can tell do what is called an assessment of English, Maths and Reasoning.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:09 pm
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Location: groombridge, e.sussex
Good luck with all this; been there and done that also with DD lacking confidence in own ability. Perhaps that's what you should be helping with and the rest will come on it's own. We had a hypnotherapist come to see DD (I've written about this before so won't repeat all). I'm quite sceptical about some therapies but felt ata loss to help DD. Whether it was the therapist or not, there was certainly a huge difference in confidence levels.
Might be worth a try; maybe talk to current teacher for helpful ways of bringing up her confidence?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:48 pm 
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Thanks SP.

I do feel a bit alone - no one from DDs school going private (as far as I'm aware)

I have been thinking about homeopathy but as it is something I have never tried myself before I too am sceptical.

Teachers at DDs current school were quite unhelpful - just said we should get a tutor. At this late stage I'm not sure that would help much though


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:50 pm 
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ohgosh! welcome to the forum - splendid usename ... :wink:

are you able to tell us which schools you are looking at as some people may have more idea about the exams and how to prepare for them.

It can be quite daunting to look at ALL secondary schools at this stage - you have just got your DC to being the oldest in the school and grown up and suddenly there is this vast school with huge people in it!!!!

All I would say is that indie schools can be very, very good at selling themselves (it is their bread and butter - visiting can be a lovely experience) - be sure that you see beyond this and also try to visit the state schools on a normal working day rather than open evenings as these can sometimes feel a little overwhleming.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:52 pm 
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I don't think homeopathy will help you for this - a good tutor might, sometimes the person helping them with the work has just got to NOT be a parent.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:57 pm 
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Location: groombridge, e.sussex
When DD went to indie she knew no-one in the whole school so was quite daunted by the whole thing but on the other hand really wanted to go there! (She could have gone to another indie where she knew girls in the year above). on her taster day she made a few friends and took home the phone numbers so that over the holidays was able to meet up a few times. this made the first day at school so much easier and now she has a busy social life with new friends (now in year 8, so an oldie!) and also still keeps up with quite a few friends from primary.
Hermanmunster could be right re tutor; may give your DD the confidence she needs by working for some one other than you.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:23 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
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Location: Maidstone
On the level of academic ability some school are quite happy to supply past papers. Some may even be able to provide a couple of past years exam papers and then you can see if thats something within your DD's capability or something she can work towards. Some will tell you the pass mark they expect and that is quite useful.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:49 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:19 pm
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hermanmunster wrote:
sometimes the person helping them with the work has just got to NOT be a parent.


From personal experience this is SO true. DS's tutor gave him such confidence and belief it was of just as much benefit as anything she actually taught him! For my DS we chose a slightly more mature lady who was very matter of fact but quite quiet and I think that this was the key - she was the right person for him - anybody bright and bubbly wouldn't have worked for him. Personality of the tutor was important for us.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:55 pm 
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Totally agree with doodles on this!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:26 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:06 pm
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Hi there. I have a DD in the independent sector.

I wouldn't worry too much about your DD making new friends. Any decent inde is redhot on the pastoral side.

In my DD case as well as the intro day all the new girls started meeting up for games practice at the School with the Head of Girls' PE from around Easter onwards even though they were then at different schools. (It also meant that they were ready to smash the opposition in September!)

The first week of the first term was also devoted to an outdoor pursuits course which serves as an icebreaker


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