Independent School or save for university fees

[zumba]

We are also deciding what to do. My DS has been offered a place from Sutton Grammar which is local, 10mins, and also a place from Kings college of wimbledon which is 30-40 mins bus ride.
He is quite academic so he will do well at both schools but its not all about getting grades. My DD is in nonsuch and everything seems to be a lottery cos there are so many kids in the year. Would like to send my son to Kings for better experience and opportunity and like to know views on what additional benefits are provided by attending Kings i.e. better chance of getting into a good uni, more "social" skills teaching, IB (kings) vs A levels (sutton) etc.

[surreymum]

If it's any help it is not such a lottery to get things at Sutton grammar as it seems to be at Nonsuch, on the whole the boys can go on any trip they like, join CCF etc.
Plenty of extra-curricular stuff if the boys are interested

[yogkruti]

I'm not sure why there is a misconception of Indies presenting more opportunities to build "social skills" than state schools. Maybe this was true many years ago.. don't think it holds water anymore.

There are so many state schools around which emphasise a lot on social interaction (eg: voluntary work/ fundraising etc) plus have fantastic opportunities for building up debating/ public-speaking skills, in fact many have trounced leading Indies in debating competitions... and sports.. and of course in academics! (but thats expected isn't it )

That said, personally I feel leadership and social skills are not something which can be "taught" IMO. It's inbuilt and doesn't matter what school your DC goes to, if they "have it" in them it will surface - when the situation arises... and there is ample opportunity in every school, be it Indie/Comp/Grammar, for "situations" to arise.

Also, don't forget there is life after school (and after Univ)

I have seen top stage performers/ public speakers etc i.e "socially adept stars" in school and Univ who kind of wilted after Univ (doing a desk job somewhere)... and some who were labelled shy "introverts" in school and now seem to have blazed through in social networking later in life , own big businesses. One of them actually employs three Oxbridge types!.

[arrgee1991]

That said, personally I feel leadership and social skills are not something which can be "taught" IMO.

You should tell my succession of employers that. I've done umpteen courses on management skills. On one, I shocked all and sundry by coming out as an introvert in a personality analysis. One of my colleagues said I was the extrovert person they knew! Just shows you can conceal your true nature

My experience is that in general those who attend independent schools are a little more assured and confident. There are always exceptions, and a lot of these skills can come from other areas and interests. As an example, Scouting is a great organisation for developing leadership and social skills in young boys.

[yogkruti]

Management and Leadership are different things... a good manager might be completely incompetent as a leader (vice versa is slightly rare IMO).

Management (or aspects of it) can be taught... to a degree.

Leadership is essentially "ingrained" and comes out when put in "situations".

(I'll keep "Visionary" out of the discussion for the moment)

[arrgee1991]

Management and Leadership are different things...

True, but management skills courses have a lot of content relating to leadership.