Applying for Independent School Scholarship

[Thingsbehindthesun]

Talismo I don't think you're being selfish at all and it is normal to want to keep your child close.We too did originally think about downe house at the very beginning when narrowing our choosen schools down, but later crossed out that decison.

Boarding schools do have their benefits and can provide great opportunites but as all children struggle with homesickness the parents struggle with letting their kids go, but the school do tend to have regular schedules that allow parents to keep in touch.

As your daughter loved them both I think if you are offered a place you should write down both the pros and cons of each the school and maybe arrange other visits on a working day to get a better feel to the running of the schools .

[cairo]

Talismo - Don't feel bad! It's a big decision and it's normal to be unsure and feel rather emotional when our little ones move on.

Which school does your DD prefer? Does she like the idea of boarding? There must be reasons why you are specifically considering a weekly boarding school? I don't know LWC, but if there are lots of other children there from homes with only one parent, perhaps that will help your DD's confidence and help to "normalise" her situation? The boarding school environment generally produces well-knit friendships and perhaps you think your DD will benefit from that? If I've understood it right the comprehensive you prefer is some distance away and would require your DD to go on 2 buses every day: so would that reduce her ability to make good friends? I guess you need to weigh all that against the possible disadvantages of her only seeing you at the weekends. Only you can judge quite how much she relies on you and whether you feel she will need you to stay close in the years ahead.

Although not in the same situation as you, I do have some understanding of how difficult it is to let go. I've been divorced for years and my children regularly visit their father overseas. My heart still wrenches every time I stand at an airport waving them off. But I bend over backwards to make it happen, because I believe it's in their best interests (although not necessarily mine!)

I hope that you and your DD are able to make a decision you both feel positive about.

[sherry_d]

Weekly boarding is best of both worlds if you aren't sure if boarding is right.

I would say only opt for boarding if you are really sure its the sort of education you wan't for your child. If you are anxious about it, its more than likely your DD will be anxious about it too and that can affect how she settles in.

My DD boards now and they are kept very busy so hardly much time left for her to feel homesick. Of course I do miss my daughter but the opportunities she has are amazing and I have seen her perform, and do loads of other activities which she wouldn't have had locally. I saw a few local schools both private and state and didn't find one that suited her. If you think the local school is good enough then you'll perhaps always wonder if its the right thing sending her to board.

Its a very personal choice and one you have to seriously think about. I think most children do get on fine, its us parents who worry a little bit more. I boarded myself so that probably made the decision a little easier for us. In my school it was straight 3 months in school and 1 month off with no exit weekend so boarding now seem like a piece of cake to me.

[Tailsmo]

Dear All

Thank you so much for all your so supportive comments

Cairo - I'm not sure if she prefers LWC because she thinks that's the one she should prefer, or because it's for that school that she's working so hard on preparation for the entrance test and doesn't want to have "wasted" all the preparation time, or if she thinks that's where I want her to prefer, or if she really does prefer that school. I guess only time will tell.

The only reason I'm considering weekly boarding is because the scholarship secretary from LWC said she would have more chance of getting a place if I ageed to weekly boarding. I wanted her to be a day pupil as they offer flexi boarding, and I thought this would give her the best of both worlds.

My DD and I are very close, and I don't want to lose that, although I also know that when she turns into a stroppy teenager, being able to pack her off to school and let someone else deal with it will seem like Heaven

Even though the state comp is 2 buses away, in car-world it's only 15 minutes, so new friends will be within an easy distance. DD will have to get the buses because I work full time, and school drop off and collection hours don't fit with my working hours, perhaps I need to change jobs!

Sherry_d - that's partly (mostly) what worries me - that she will be so busy that she won't miss me

Thingsbehindthesun - good suggestion. I know the state comp put on a really good show for open evening, so it would be interesting to visit on a 'normal' day. I'll try and arrange that for DD's next inset day.

Thanks for sharing the load everyone

[joop]

I think it is a difficult decision and you should not feel pressurised by the school. You know your daughter best and It sounds as though you have a very close relationship. Your daughter will also be aware that you would be at home on your own and may worry about you. If you feel flexible boarding would best suit I would try and convey this to the school and perhaps you both could consider weekly boarding at a later date if still an option. It Seems a bit bizarre that you would have more of a chance of scholarship for weekly boarding under the category of bereavement as the emotional needs of each child will be different and with some children it might be better if they reside with a parent (I work professionally with children).

[Tailsmo]

Thanks Joop. The school offer places on entrance test results, and foundation awards for bereaved children (or children from divorced or separated families) on the basis of pastoral care need - i.e. how much the child needs a stable and secure environment. I expect they generally get applications from people whose home situations are less than ideal, or who live a long way from school. The school is about 30 mins away by car from us, so it will make for very long days for DD if she does come home every evening. However, I suppose there's no rule about DD coming home a couple of nights a week if she is a weekly boarder, so perhaps that's the way to go.

[willow_catkin]

As someone who muniutiaes every decision I know this is hard, but could you try to wait until you know she is offered a place at the boarding school before worrying / beating yourself up too much about the options?

Then you can plan daytime visits, list the pros and cons etc to make a firm decision

[Tailsmo]

You're right, I know you're right (repeat several times while hitting self over head ) Thank you SP for my sanity

[Tailsmo]

A quick update on our status... We visited the junior boarding house a few weeks ago, and DD loved it. I did too, it's a real family-oriented place, and I'm sure she'll thrive there.

We've passed the initial evaluation of the Trustees and received the invitation this week to sit the entrance test on 2nd December (4 weeks Friday )

We did mock SATS this weekend, and DD's scores were 5b for English and 4a for Maths, a big improvement on mock SATS last May.

We're both feeling positive about the test!

[sherry_d]

That's great news Tailsmo, at least your daughter loves it too.

Good luck with the test.