Can anyone advise pls??

[curious100]

Same situation - got a place at North London, Habs and Watford Grammar - do we only lose the deposit or 1 term's school fees as well?

[fairyelephant]

Read the terms and conditions with the offer very carefully. It may be that if you reject the indie before Easter then you will only lose the deposit.

[Queen of toast]

This is easy for me to say because we've already made our decision but I would echo what CPM1771 has said.

You will know from having looked around the schools what the differenences are. The facilities at MTS and Habs are somewhat different that Watford Grammar. You need to decide what type of environment you want for your DS and whether you can afford it. If you have the finances then the choice is easy - which one would you go for if they were all free ? Unlikely you would choose Watford. However, he is going to get a perfectly good education at Watford Grammar without the frills. Don't struggle to do it when you have the choice of a good state school to choose.

Also, I think that you would definitely lose your deposit and be liable to pay the first term's fees at the indie if you accepted the place but then later decided not to take it up.

FWIW, assuming that you've done your homework and been to look round the indies again, I think that you should try and make a decision this week. I don't think that it's helpful (for you or your DS - as well as other candidates) to dwell on these things for too long. They're all FANTASTIC schools - if you can afford to pay the fees then choose the one that you like the best; if you can't afford the fees then choose Watford Grammar.

[magic-mum]

If you are still in a dilemma and need a little more time to decide (and it is a big decision !) accept WBG and decide between Habs & MT's ( due to the agreement with private schools in the area - of which Habs & MT's are in you can only accept one of these places). You will have to pay the £1000 (non refundable) deposit to secure your place (TODAY - 4th march ? ) but you probably have a little while yet before you would pay a term fees (Easter ? but get that date confirmed from the indie school you accept).
Only you can decide which school you prefer - there are pro's and con's on both sides and you can listen to other people and their reasons ... but listen to your gut feeling !
Then finalise your decision and contact the school you will decline.
Other people both in the state and indie sector will be on waiting lists but you have rightly earned your places so if you need a little more time take it.
Good Luck

[RationalityRules]

We have chosen Watford Grammar over MTS and Habs. All three are excellent schools; Watford Grammar is £15k a year cheaper and closer to our home. We could afford the indie fees, but not comfortably and for us, a comfortable, happy and unstressed family life during our children's teenage years is the most important thing of all. Other factors we took into account were the journey time and whether we would be able to afford all of the extras at an independent school. We considered the rising cost of a university education for our children, and the fact that we have three children to get through secondary school and university and on to the property ladder! We also factored in a 5% increase yearly onto the indie fees in our sums.

I echo posts by others - if we had all the money in the world and could afford to spend Christmas in Florida, ski in February, holiday in Dubai at Easter and have a summer break (as well as pay someone to cook our meals, clean our house, do our gardening and wash/iron all of our clothes) we would probably have plumped for either MTS or Habs. But that's not our life and we know it can be difficult for children to cope within a peer group who do have those things, if they themselves have a very different home life. We also know that the fees you pay do not guarantee you child better results, a better university place, a more well-adjusted child, a career in the city/medicine or any of the other things that the independent schools would have you believe. No school can guarantee you any of those things!

I was privately educated and I work across independent and state schools in South West Herts and Middlesex (I won't name them) so I judge the schools from inside as well as outside. I feel that in all the most important areas, Watford Grammar is on a par with the independent schools and that we are extremely fortunate to be able to access the teaching, pastoral care, ethos and co-curricular opportunities it can provide without having to pay.

Please do release your grammar school place as soon as you can if you aren't going to take it. Yes, your son earned it, but the children on the waiting list didn't work any less hard and they are very anxiously waiting to hear where they will be going to school. No doubt both you and your son would like to make the decision quickly too, rather than prolong your period of uncertainty.

RR

[MollyB]

RR I mainly agree with the comments you have made and found them to be very similar to my thoughts on this subject.However having had experience of myself and my children in Grammar / Independent Schools I can honestly say there were many people who did not have expensive holidays housekeepers etc etc I am sure many had made the decision to do without some luxuries as they valued their childrens education more. I was educated in the independent sector and being one of three we had little in the way of fancy holidays but whenever I mentioned this matter to my parents they responded by saying when you have a 'good ' education and go to University and hopefully get a 'good' job afterwards you can go on the fancy holidays and pay for them yourself ! I used to find this so very annoying at times, but my parents were very keen to make us self motivated and always made us realise we were very fortunate but did not want to spoil us, something we also try to do with our extremely fortunate children.
From reading some of the posts regarding independent Schools I get the feeling many parents are worrying unnecessarily there will always be people with more or less than you and that is life and our children must learn this lesson and not to feel less of a person if they do not have as much as others in material terms. Many working parents buy their children many gadgets etc as they feel guilty about not spending time with their children.